


Betrayal

by FictionForDummiesx



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Best Friends, Cheating, Dubious Consent, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Heartbreak, Holidays, M/M, Male-Female Friendship, Original Character(s), Pining, Romance, Smut, side Ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-02-10 19:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 49,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2036625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FictionForDummiesx/pseuds/FictionForDummiesx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis and his best friend Laura who helped him come out when he was younger, decided to go on a holiday to Kos. It's something Louis has always wanted. He invites one of his other friends Niall to come along and Laura takes her boyfriend Harry with her. There seems to be some kind of tension between Louis and Harry. Louis doesn't know what to do about it, and íf he can do anything about it. Then, things don't go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Day Of Departure

**Author's Note:**

> Soo, this is my first chaptered fic. I plan on making it a long story, with quite a lot of chapters. I'll try to upload another chapter at least every week.  
> I obviously completely made everything up in this story, and it doesn't reflect on Louis' or Harry's or anyone's actual life in any way.  
> And as a warning: this story does contain explicit content.  
> Also, keep in mind that English is not my primary language. Please correct me if there are any mistakes, and I'll edit them out to make the story more enjoyable to read.  
> Okay, I think that's all that needed to be said. I hope you enjoy!  
> x

A loud buzzing sound in my ear pulls me out of my sleep. I groan and roll onto my back. I stretch my limbs and slowly sit up in my bed.

As I prepare myself for the day, I feel myself becoming more and more excited. Today's finally the day that Laura, her boyfriend, Niall and I are going on our trip to Kos. I've been looking forward to this for so long. My grandparents used to tell me stories about their journeys to Kos. I still remember the way they described the gorgeous white beaches, the hammocks, the palm trees, the clear blue water and the many beautiful villages. I always asked them to tell me more, and all the details.

And now I was going to see for myself what it was like over there. When I told Laura about my idea while we were still in school, she was so excited. She reacted exactly the way I hoped she would. It would've been such a shame if she didn't feel the same amount of excitement about going to Greece as I did. But she did, and it made me love her even more. We agreed that we would save as much money for Kos as we could, so that we could go there after we graduated. And luckily, we both graduated. Otherwise we'd probably have to cancel the trip.

Laura and I had been friends for five years, and it's been the most solid and close friendship of my life. We both tried to see eachother as much as we could, because we genuinely cherished our friendship. We did have our fights, but I wasn't the kind of person to stay mad at someone, and neither was she.

When I was in school and I came to realise that I was definitely gay, I felt like I wasn't able to talk to anyone about it. Everyone always said the same thing: 'Talk about it to someone you trust.' But I didn't know who I really trusted. Of course, I trusted my parents, but just like every other closeted gay boy or girl, I was scared of their reaction. And the thought of talking about it to a teacher made my stomach turn around. And friends.. It's not like I didn't have any friends, but they were all boys and I got the feeling they wouldn't understand. I thought they'd get freaked out and think I was nasty or something. So I kept it a secret.

I think it was a year after I discovered that I was gay, that I became friends with Laura. When she sat down next to me one day, I immediately got the sense that we clicked. And judging by the way she kept coming back to me, I knew she thought the same. I started trusting her, really trusting her. And that's when I told her. She was absolutely amazing about everything I told her. She told me that 'it's okay to be gay, just like it's okay to be straight' and that 'you're what makes you yóu, not your sexuality'. She said all the things I needed to hear, and not just because of that. And the feeling that I finally had that off my chest was so liberating. It felt like there had been some kind of pressure, and then she took it away with a few words and gestures. I thought she was special, and she really was. She also helped to convince me to tell my family. 

And here I am today. It's a kind of stressful day, since there's a lot of stuff I still have to do. Because I'm so lazy, I still need to pack some of my stuff and then I need to pick up Niall, my other friend, and I have to be at the airport at six pm.

I quickly go through the list of things I need to bring with me in my head. Underwear, check. Pajamas, check. Swimming trunks.. Swimming trunks! Imagine if I forget those. I could buy a pair in a shop on Kos, but still.

I also grab a few towels, some socks, though I don't always wear socks in my shoes, and a pair of flip flops while eating a sandwich with my free hand. I quickly brush my teeth after that, and I put my suitcase on the backseat of my car. I sit down behind the steering wheel, and I turn on the engine.

I quickly get out of the car as soon as I realise that I forgot my sunglasses. Oh, and I also forgot to lock the door. _Real smart, Louis_ , I think to myself.

Then, I finally leave, and I'm on my way to Niall's house. There's always that feeling when you leave your house where you think; did I take that? Did I not forget that? And it's driving me crazy, so I decide to just not think about my suitcase anymore. I'm not driving back anyway.

I arrive at Niall's house, and he's already out his front door, standing on the porch in front of his house. It's been about two weeks, when the graduation was, since I last saw him. I notice he got a nice tan, and his hair looks lighter than ever.

I met Niall about a year ago, but I immediately knew he was a nice guy and that I really, really liked him. He's such a carefree person, and he really enjoys talking to people and he's just a sweetheart, really. A typical people's person. We always have good laughs together. And when I told him I was gay, he just kind of slapped me on my shoulder and said: 'You know that doesn't change anything, right? I still think you're great.'

I sat together with Niall in a few classes, but it was never the three of us; Laura, Niall and me. They did talk to eachother a few times when we were together in the break, but Niall had a few other friends that he spoke to as well, and same went for her. But I think they'll get way more chances to talk to eachother on this holiday.

I step out of the car and I walk up to him. He pulls me in for a quick hug and grins.

'Are you ready for this Tomlinson?' he asks with a cheeky glint in his blue eyes.

'Are you?' I ask, laughing.

We get into the car and we make our way to the airport, where we'll meet Laura and her boyfriend, Harry.

She didn't actually tell me that much about Harry. Probably because it's still kind of new and fresh. She did tell me that he's a super nice guy, and that I'll probably like him immediately. She also said he was caring and charming and blah-blah. She rambles about things she gets excited about, and I always tend to zone out when she does that. I love that about her though. Her enthusiasm and passion for things are a few things I admire her for.

She never really had a boyfriend, and I think it's because she tends to get a little picky on that subject, so I'm happy for her that she finally found someone she feels comfortable with. If she likes him, there's no way I could dislike him. That's just the way it works.

I grab my phone from the dashboard and hand it over to Niall.

'Could you text Laura for me? Tell her we'll be there in 15 minutes,' I tell him, glancing over at him from the corner of my eye.

'Okay,' he says. 'What's the code?'

I give him the numbers without hesitation, because I trust him. I always feel like it's a good thing to let people know you trust them. They'll remember.

He taps away on my phone for a while. 'Done,' I hear him say. When he doesn't stop tapping, I look over at him with a raised eyebrow.

'You have nudes on here?' he gasps, his eyes fixed on the screen.

My jaw drops and I feel my face burning up. _Nudes? Oh god_. I snatch my phone from him, and I frantically push the 'off' button, while still trying to focus on the road. I hear him laughing in my ear, and I qiuckly look at him with wide eyes.

'Mate, you should've seen your face! It was hilarious,' he says, bringing up a fist to rub at his eye and starting to laugh even louder.

My mouth slowly closes and I push his shoulder, while I keep my eyes on the road. 'Asshole,' I murmur, the hint of a smile tugging at my lips.

* * *

We arrive at the parking lot of the airport, and we're a bit later than expected. We quickly get our suitcases from the trunk, and I close it with a slam. Then we rush our way through the crowd, looking for our meeting point. 

'Where was it again?' Niall asks, a bit out of breath.

'There!' I say, suddenly spotting someone who looks a lot like Laura. And there's a boy next to her. It has to be Laura. They're sitting on the edge of a fountain, frantically looking around.

We make our way towards them, pulling our luggage trolleys behind us. Niall almost drops his, and I look at him with a smirk. He grins back and we keep walking. We're finally going to Kos, I think to myself. A man accidentally pushes my shoulder, and he mutters a quick 'sorry'.

As we get closer, I can clearly recognize Laura sitting there. I'm surprised at how curious I am about her boyfriend, Harry. I can see he's quite tall, and well-built. I see a lot of hair as well. Laura's searching eyes finally catch mine and a big grin settles itself on her face.

'Louis!' she shouts at us, standing up from where she was sitting. Harry stands up as well. He follows her gaze and finally his eyes land on us as well.

When I reach Laura, she immediately throws her arms around me. I wrap my arms around her and I squeeze her tightly. I completely adore this girl, even though some of her dark hair almost got in my mouth.

'Hey,' I say. In the corner of my eye, I see Niall and Harry shaking hands and exchanging a few words. Harry lets out a laugh at something Niall said. Typical, I think to myself. I pull back from Laura and look into her brown eyes.

'I've been looking forward to this for so long,' she says, smiling softly, her eyes sincere.

I nod. 'Me too.'

She squeezes my arm, and goes to give Niall a quick hug.

I turn myself towards Harry. We immediately make eyecontact. Involuntarily, a thought slips into my mind: _lovely eyes_.

'Hi, I'm Harry,' he says. His voice is lower and raspier than I expected. He looks younger than he sounds. He extends his hand and I shake it. _Big hands_ , I think to myself.

''m Louis,' I say, smiling. He smiles back at me and squeezes my hand once before letting it go. I always expect these things to be so awkward, but thankfully, it's not that bad. Now I notice his hair is tamed by some sort of bandana. It works for him in a way. And he seems nice.

Laura's eyes search for mine, like she's trying to watch my reaction to meeting her boyfriend. I smile reassuringly, to let her know that I approve. She blushes a bit and starts fiddling with her fingers. I grin to myself. She really deserves to be happy. And I'm glad she is.

Niall starts talking to her, and that's when I'm suddenly aware of Harry's eyes on me. I look up, feeling a bit weird about the fact that he saw the whole exchange of glances between me and Laura. Apparently, he doesn't feel weird about it, because he doesn't avert his eyes from me.

I clear my throat and look away again, feeling a bit restless. 'We should get going, guys.'


	2. Plane Fright

After going through security, we look for our gate. Security made me throw away two bottles of water that I tried to sneak in, so that was kind of a shame but I expected it. Laura and Harry walk hand in hand and Niall and I walk behind them.

'I've never been on a plane,' I admit, looking at the side of his face with a small smile.

He looks up, raising an eyebrow. 'Really? Never been very far on holidays?'

'No, not really. I've never actually left the country,' I say, shrugging. My parents never felt the need to travel abroad, and we also never had alot of money, which made it difficult to afford.

'Wow,' Niall says. 'So are you nervous?' he asks with a crooked smile, his blue eyes sparking with interest.

'Nah,' I shake my head, shrugging and trying to play it cool. My neck is actually stiff, that's how nervous I really am. But he doesn't need to know that.

He lets out a chuckle, and I look up at him, squinting my eyes. He raises his hands in defense. 'I believe you,' he says, the hint of a smirk visible on his lips. I roll my eyes, laughing softly, and feeling myself relax a little. That's one of the effects of being around Niall.

We find our gate, and then we stroll around the shops for a bit. Half an hour before our flight, we go to the gate and wait. There are a lot of people, mostly adolescents and young adults. We sit down on a few metal chairs. Laura sits down next to me, and Harry sits down on her other side. I'm glad she's come to sit with me, since we haven't talked that much yet.

'I'm so glad we're finally doing this,' Laura sighs happily, resting her chin on her hand.

'Me too. So glad. I'm hoping on returning with a nice tan,' I say, waggling my eyebrows. She looks up at me and laughs.

'You already have a tan, you lucky bastard!' she says chuckling, knocking our shoulders together. 'You're like.. naturally tanned. I'm so jealous,' she continues, pouting.

I laugh, pinching her cheek. 'You look amazing, girl,' I tell her, and she smiles shyly. I notice Harry's hand is resting on her leg, like he's keeping watch over her. I can't help but feel happy for them. I notice the amount of rings he's wearing. It's a big amount. I love rings, though I never wear them myself. Somehow, I don't feel like they suit me.

After a while, there's an announcement saying we can board the plane. We go and stand in a long queue, and I feel the nerves resurfacing. I try not to think about crashing, because that's just not gonna happen. The chance is too small for that to happen, it wouldn't.

I jump a bit when I feel a hand on my shoulder. 'You okay?' Harry's raspy voice sounds like it's very close to my ear, and I tense up even more.

He must notice the tension in my shoulder. He squeezes it softly and then drops his hand.

I almost forget he asked me something. 'Yeah, I'm alright,' I say, a little out of breath. I feel kinda sick, but he doesn't need to know that. 'Thanks for asking,' I add.

'No problem,' he says, softly.

I'm kind of angry at myself for reacting like this. I'm not supposed to tense up when he's near me, I'm supposed to get used to him, 'cause I'm gonna be seeing him a lot these next few weeks. I try to forget about it as we board the plane. _Kos, here I come._

* * *

We sit down in the plane. I awkwardy look at what the others do, trying to figure out where I should sit and who I should sit next to.

'Can I sit by the window? I'm afraid I might get sick otherwise,' Laura says, looking at the three of us with a hopeful gaze. I nod and Harry says: 'Of course, babe.'

She sits down by the window with a thankful smile, and Harry sits down next to her. I look at Niall questioningly. He gestures for me to sit down next.

'I wanna sit at the end of the row, then I'll have more room for my legs,' he says with a wink.

I smile tightly and sit down next to Harry. The first thing I notice as I sit down is Harry's smell. It's a very nice smell. _When I have a boyfriend, I want him to smell like that,_ I think to myself. I quickly push those thoughts away though. It's not the time to think about boyfriends. We're finally going to Kos!

I roll my shoulders back and I sigh, trying to get at least a little bit comfortable. I'm still tense as hell though.

A little while later, after the safety video has played, the plane takes off. Well, first, it rides around for a bit, but then the speed suddenly starts to build up. I feel myself being pushed back in my chair, and I hold my breath, squeezing my eyes closed. The loud roaring sound of the plane buzzes in my ears, and I feel like I might go deaf. I hold onto the armrest for dear life.

Then, I feel a soft brush against my hand, like someone touched me with their hand. But I can't seem to focus on that as my stomach clenches sickeninly.

After a while, the roaring lessens and I open my eyes. I turn my head towards the window, and I gasp as I see England far below us. Laura's looking through the window too, watching the clouds. She turns her head towards me and smiles brightly, her eyes wide from excitement. She's never been on a plane before either.

'This is amazing! The view..' she exclaims. Then she looks at Harry and pecks him on his lips, giving him a special little smile that I'd recognise anywhere. She obviously adores him.

I lick my dry lips and I look at Niall. 'I wish I still had my water,' I groan.

He laughs, his straight teeth showing. 'The stewardess will probably be here in a sec,' he says.

'They want us to spend all our money, huh?' I say, shaking my head in disapproval.

For the next ten minutes, I look out the window, enjoying the view. I can't believe we're higher than the clouds already. I hear Harry and Laura talking softly beside me. I'm kinda curious what they're talking about, although I've got no reason to be. Like that's any of my business.

Then, the small tv screen comes out of the ceiling again, the same one that showed the safety video before.

'A movie! Yay!' Laura exclaims.

I feel relieved. This might be the perfect distraction from the weird feeling in my stomach. And also from the pressure in my ears.

'Do your ears feel horrible as well?' I ask Niall with a frown.

He nods and starts rummaging in his pocket. He passes me his chewing gum and I take it from him. 'This might help. You need to chew,' he explains.

I thank him and I start chewing. It does help. The movie starts, but I notice there's no sound. I look at the armrest. _Oh._ You're supposed to plug your earphones in. I quickly realize that I actually forgot to pack them, and I want to smack myself in the face.

'Shit,' I curse, letting out a groan of dispair. 'I forgot my earphones.'

'Smart,' Niall chuckles, pulling his own earbuds out of his backpack and plugging them in. He waggles his eyebrows at me, and I huff, rolling my eyes.

'We could both use mine,' Harry says beside me.

I look at him. He's holding up his earphones with raised eyebrows and a cheeky smile. _Do I see a dimple?_

'Oh, that's okay, I mean,' I murmur, not really wanting to bother him.

He chuckles, his eyes crinkling. _Yep, definitely a dimple._ 'Just accept the offer,' he says, and before I can protest, he adds: 'Okay, let's see.'

He bows himself over the armrest, trying to find the hole for the plug-in. He plugs it in and holds up one of his earbuds for me to take.

I hesitantly take it from him, and push it into my ear. I'm aware that if I move to the left, his earphone will fall out of his ear. So I need to sit really still, or this isn't going to work. From the corner of my eye, I can see him doing the same thing. I look at him, and he looks back at me. His eyes are so green. Even greener from up close. And his hair smells good as well. Suddenly, I feel the urge to laugh. It might be from the tension, or it might be because of this whole situation, I don't even know. So I start laughing. He immediately joins in, and we sit there chuckling like two damn fools. We barely even know eachother. At some point, he shortly puts his hand on my knee, and I can feel the way his hand fits over my entire knee. _BIG hands!_

Our laughter dies out after a while, and we start watching the movie. I'm very aware of his presence beside me, especially after I've seen him laugh. He has a very nice laugh. _Laura's lucky to have him._ That thought is something I want to push away immediately. Not important right now.

Somehow, I can't seem to actually focus on the movie and I start feeling tired. I tap Harry's shoulder to get his attention and I hand him his earphone back. Our fingers brush shortly, and I immediately feel myself blushing. _Damn it._ I need to chill.

When I look at him again, his eyes seem to be focused on our fingers. He lifts them and meets mine. His look is unreadable.

'I-uhm. I'm kinda tired,' I say sheepishly, looking away. Why do I feel so tense? Does he feel that too?

'Okay,' he hums, nodding distractedly.

I nod back at him. Then I sit back in my seat and close my eyes.


	3. Superdeluxe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter, I tried to make it a little longer.  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> x

It seems like ages before there's the final announcement, telling everyone to grab their bags and other stuff. And honestly, I'm kind of relieved we can finally get off this plane. The amount of tension I feel from sitting next to Harry is just.. ridicilous really. And there's no reason for it, he's my best friend's boyfriend, for God's sake!

We all stand up from our chairs as soon as the plane has landed, and my legs feel like two planks. I stumble towards the exit.

'Have a good day!' a flight attendant says with a cheery smile.

I don't even bother saying anything back. Instead, I try to focus on where I'm walking. We walk through the jet bridge and enter the terminal. I feel too unsteady on my feet, so I crouch down, and put my head between my knees.

'Louis, are you okay?' Laura asks with a concerned look on her face. She crouches down next to me and puts her hand on my shoulder.

I give her a weak smile before grimacing. I hold my stomach and groan softly. 'I feel kinda sick,' I murmur, my head spinning a bit. 'Need the toilets,' I rush out, pushing my lips together tightly.

She squeezes my shoulder softly and looks up at the others. 'Could one of you go with him to the toilets? He's feeling sick,' she says, looking between Niall and Harry.

Harry steps forward. 'I'll go with him.'

I widen my eyes a bit, swallowing thickly. Laura stands up with a nod and a thankful smile. 'We'll see you guys at the baggage claim area,' she says.

I stand up slowly and immediately start swerving around a bit. Harry wraps his hand around my arm to steady me, and I tense again. His eyes find mine, and there's this electric look in his eyes. I find myself looking away again.

We walk over to the toilets. At one point, he lets go of my arm and puts his hand on my lower back instead. I shiver slightly, and I swear I'm going to be sick at any moment now. And I really, really don't want to puke in front of him.

I quickly slip into one of the stalls, and I immediately bow my head over the toilet. That's when I can't hold it in any longer. I start emptying my stomach, and I feel absolutely terrible. The fact that Harry's waiting out there, hearing all those sounds.. It's mortifying.

After a while, I wipe my mouth with some toilet paper and I flush it down the toilet. I slowly walk out of the stall, feeling very humiliated. Harry's standing there with this concerned look in his eyes, which I can't really handle to be honest. This all feels so personal already, and I've barely talked to this guy!

I start washing my hands and I tense up when I feel his hand on my back, rubbing up and down. I can feel the cool metal of his rings through my shirt, and I clench my teeth

'Are you okay?' he says, softly. His voice is so deep and soothing, in a way.

I nod, but I don't look up at him. My eyes are probably still red. I must look like a complete idiot.

His hand keeps rubbing at my back, and his smell invades my mind.

'Let's go to the others,' I say, quickly making my way towards the door, making his arm drop back to his side. I hear his heavy footsteps behind me, and I swallow. Worst experience ever, I think to myself.

* * *

A little later, we're in a cab and on our way to the hotel. Our rooms are supposed to have seesight, which is gorgeous. Niall and me share a room, and Laura and Harry of course.

I finally feel a little better, especially when I look outside the window. I watch the palmtrees fly by, and I realize that this is finally the moment. This is the holiday I've been looking forward to for months and months. A break from the real world, a break from all my responsibilities. And it feels good.

We arrive at the hotel and it's absolutely stunning. It looks even more beautiful than it did on the website. I elbow Niall, grinning like an idiot.

'Holy shit. This must be paradise,' I breathe, glancing at him.

He nods in agreement, looking around with a big smile.

We retrieve our suitcases from the car and walk up to the big hotel. We go into the lobby and walk up to the reception. There's a man sitting behind a desk, and he looks up at his from behind his large, round glasses. He's wearing an expensive-looking suit, and I can't help but feel a little intimidated. This is a very luxurious place to stay, it seems. I decide to take the floor.

'Hello,' I say, clearing my throat. 'We booked a quad room.'

The man leans back a bit. 'Name?' he asks, folding his hands together on the desk.

'Tomlinson,' I respond.

'Let me see,' he says, and he turns to his monitor. He types in a few things, and it takes a little while. Then he pulls open a drawer and rummages around for a bit. He hands me the key to our room and I sigh, relieved. What if something had gone wrong and he wouldn't have my name in the system? I'd be devastated.

I thank him and I pay him. All four of us pay a portion of the prize.

'Enjoy your stay,' the man says, and goes back to whatever he was doing before.

I turn around and I see Laura and Harry making their way to the elevator. I look at Niall and grin, gesturing towards the stairs. I sprint towards it with Niall on my heels.  
Laura sees us, and she smirks. I give her a challenging look.

She looks at Harry. 'We have to win!' she says, and presses the button a few times. The man behind the desk looks at her, shaking his head in disapproval. She gives him a fake smile, still pressing the button. Harry looks at her with a fond smile on his face.

We finally reach the stairs and I haul myself up the steps, taking two at a time. I almost trip, but I keep going and after climbing up a few staircases, we finally reach the fourth floor. I look around, but Laura and Harry are nowhere to be seen yet. I smile to myself. _I'm gonna win this._

I run towards our room, and in the corner of my eye, I see the elevator arriving and the doors opening. Laura runs towards the door, pulling Harry with her by his hand.  
I reach the door first though, and I fist pump the air in victory. I turn around and I give Niall a bearhug. He laughs into my shoulder, and I put him down, still cheering. My heart is pounding with adrenaline.

Laura pouts at me, and I laugh. 'You're getting slower, Laurie,' I say, winking at her.

Then I look at Harry. There's a wide smile on his face, his dimple popping. Before I can register what I'm doing, I'm smiling back at him. His tongue darts out, licking his lower lip. My gaze drifts down to his mouth. It looks pouty and very shiny.

I quickly look away, feeling a bit flustered and embarrassed. I fumble for the keys in my pocket, and I unlock the door. _Get yourself together_ , I tell myself.

I open the door and I gasp, stunned.

This hotel room is more like a mansion. Everything looks shiny and new, like no one's ever been in here before. I walk through the hall and into the living room. This is like a dream.

The flatscreen tv facing the couch is huge, enormous. I've never seen a television that big. The couch looks fluffy and there are a few cushions neatly tucked into the corners. The colors of the furniture, the floor, the walls and the ceiling are a warm shade, making it look very cozy.

'This is gorgeous. It's even nicer than my own home!' Niall says.

Laura nods, her hand clamped over her mouth in awe.

'I might get used to living here,' Harry mutters, looking around with an astounded expression on his face.

'Too bad we don't,' I retort.

He looks at me, eyebrows raised in question.

'Live here, I mean,' I continue, averting my eyes. Something about him makes me fidgety, and it's distracting.

There's a balcony attached to the living room, and I go onto it. The first thing I see is the beautiful sea, the beach, and all the palm trees. This is absolutely amazing. I lean on the banister, looking down at the street. I see people walking with their children, and younger people talking to eachother excitedly. This is gonna be the best holiday of my life.  
I gaze at the sea for a moment, lost in thought. I've always loved the sea. It makes me feel peaceful, for some reason. Just swimming around in something so.. endless. I can't wait to swim.

'It's beautiful, isn't it?'

Harry's low voice beside me startles me, and I look up at him. He's leaning on the balustrade, just like me. His eyes are fixed on the sea. I realize how close we're standing, and I can practically count his lashes. I can even see the golden specs in his eyes. It's an undeniable fact that this boy is very, very beautiful. And it's also a fact that there's something like a magnetic pull between the two of us, like my body is asking me to reach out to him, to come even closer. Oh, and it's álso a fact that he's my best friend's boyfriend.  
He then looks up at me, and I'm struck by the intensity of his eyes. _God, help me._ He probably noticed the way I was staring at him. I'm too obvious. I feel embarrassed, and I focus my gaze on the beach, and the people. I try to distract myself, to not think about things I shouldn't be thinking about. It doesn't work.

It's almost as if I can hear elecricity crackling in the air, like there's a current surrounding us. It swallows me up and makes me feel vulnerable. I lean back, straightening myself, trying to regain my composure.

'It is,' I say, the pitch of my voice slightly higher than usual.

Before he comes up with a response, I back away slowly and then turn around, quickly making my way back inside. I shake my head, attempting to clear my head.

* * *

 

Niall and I are in our room, unpacking our stuff and making room for it in the closet.

I'm glad I can share a room with him. Sharing a room with Harry, for example, makes me nervous just thinking about it. I swear there's like some kind of weird thing going on whenever I'm near Harry, I don't even know. It's probably just me.

'Harry's a nice bloke,' Niall says, and I startle a bit, hearing his name. It's like he's reading my thoughts. That's not a good thing.

'Yeah, he's cool,' I shrug, folding my clothes and putting them in a drawer.

'Wow, you gonna fold all that? Neat freak,' Niall laughs, stuffing his socks in a random drawer.

I chuckle, relaxing my shoulders a bit. This is not the time to be worrying about things, and Niall always seems to remind me of that.

'And you're a swine,' I say, raising an eyebrow.

'Okay, you got me, Mr. Sass Queen,' he retorts, his bright eyes dancing with humour.

I throw my pillow at him, and he ducks his head, squealing and laughing.

* * *

A while later, we've all changed into our swimming clothes and we're on our way to the hotel pool. I know, a hotel pool. Superdeluxe.

The pool looks stunning. It's huge, and there's like a rock with a small waterfall coming out of it. The bright sun feels hot on my skin, making my body crave the cool water of the pool.

'Woohoo!' Niall yells, diving straight into the pool. Splashes of water touch my heated skin and I shiver and laugh at Niall's antics. The water's very cold.

His head appears above the water line and there's a pained look on his face.

'Cold,' he groans shakily. Then, he grins. 'Your turn, Louis.'

I shake my head, crossing my arms in front of my chest. Yeah, I'm burning up, but the water's way too cold.

Niall shares a glance with Laura or Harry, I don't know who, and then I feel two big, firm hands on my back, pushing me from behind. I hear Harry laughing lowly behind me as I stumble forward and fall head-first into te pool, gasping. The cold temperature of the water gives me a shock, and I resurface, choking on my breath.

I turn around, and Harry stands on the side of the pool, grinning wildly. _Oh, he's asking for it._

I grab his leg with my hands, pulling him towards me. His clumsy limbs flail around as he tips forward like I did a few seconds ago. I try to step aside as he falls into the water, but his body almost completely touches mine, making me shiver even more than I already did from the water.

He resurfaces and I can't help but laugh. His hair is a huge mop on his head, with droplets sliding down his curls. He shakes his hair, and looks down at me with a small smirk. His eyes are intense again. Too intense and too green.

I feel myself blush, and I quickly go under water, not wanting to show my face anymore.


	4. Lobsters And Too Many Drinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! Here's the next chapter :) Next one will be up soon, promise. x

'Ohh, you didn't!' Laura gasps after I splash water all over her. She covers her face with her hands, turning her back towards me. I laugh quietly.

She turns around again and suddenly splashes water back at me, and I chuckle, holding my hands up in defeat.

She grins and swims over to Harry, putting her arms around his torso and leaning her head against him. He leans in and whispers something in her ear. His eyes lock with mine as he's talking, his brow furrowed. My stomach flutters and I purse my lips, looking away. _Why does this keep happening?_

'Louis,' Laura says. 'You and Harry should get to know eachother for a bit!' She looks at me with a hopeful smile.

My heart sinks and I shuffle on my feet. I glance at Harry. I'm not sure, but I think I can see a smirk on his face. _Shit._ He knows I'm flustered by him.

I straighten my back a bit. 'Yeah, that's okay,' I mutter. Harry's eyes seem to bore a hole into my skull. _Laura and her stupid ideas._

'Good. Niall, did you see that waterfall over there..?' Laura swims over to Niall and leads him away from Harry and I, leaving us standing opposite from eachother.   
I can feel my heart beating a bit faster, and I try to ignore it. I also try not to look at his body.

'So.. Laura told me all about you,' I say, hoping to break the ice. There's still that tension though. The same tension I felt when we were on the balcony together.

He chuckles lightly, looking down at his feet through the water. Then he looks up again, his eyes raking my face. 

'Did she? All good things, I hope,' he says, his eyebrows raised and yep, there's that dimple again.

I nod, my lips tightly pressed together. He must think I'm so awkward.

'Have you been to Greece before?' I ask, trying to find a subject to talk about.

He shakes his head, his green eyes gazing intently at mine.

'First time. So why did you want to go to Greece?' he asks. 'I mean, aside from the obvious reasons. I'm curious, 'cause Laura told me it means something special to you,' he adds.

'It's kind of a boring story,' I say sheepishly, averting my gaze.

'I'm listening,' he urges.

_Is he trying to get to know me?_ The thought that someone I barely know is actually interested in my boring story is sort of humbling. I'm really starting to like him.

'Okay,' I begin. 'My grandparents used to tell me stories about Greece when I was younger. Their honeymoon was here. I loved their stories. It sounds dumb, but my grandparents were my heroes. Especially because when I told my family I was gay, my grandparents were the only ones who supported me without hesitating. The rest of my family had a harder time, you know..' I struggle to find the words and look up at him to see if he's still interested.

His eyes were still focused on me, his lips forming a grim line, like my words had upset him. _Hm._ He probably doesn't approve of gay people, or something like that.

I quickly continue. 'Anyways. When my grandparents died about two years ago, I promised myself I would go here and see it for myself.' I look down, feeling a bit odd exposing myself to a stranger. 'So that's my dramatic sob story.'

Suddenly, I feel two fingers under my chin, tipping my head back up. He's standing very close to me, and his fingers on my skin ignite something deep inside me. His smell is divine, and I feel the urge to take a huge whiff. I'd probably look like a weirdo, so I keep myself from doing it.

'Don't do that,' he says softly. Wait, is he reading my thoughts? _Oh my god._

'Do what?' I breathe.

'Look away,' he adds, pulling his fingers away. I instantly miss the feel of them. 'I admire you.'

I'm lost for words as I stare into his impossibly beautiful, sincere, green eyes. This boy takes my breath away. I should feel weird he's saying these things to me since we just met, but surprisingly I don't feel like that at all. My heart swells with gratitude.

His gaze flicks down, and I swear he's looking at my lips. He bites his lip, and my knees almost buckle at the sight. _Holy shit._ And there's that unbearable tension again.

I feel like I can't hold it in any longer. My hands itch to reach out, to touch him and embrace him, and my lips itch to kiss him. And in that moment, I know I'm gonna do it.

Before I can lean in and fulfill my desires, I see Laura out of the corner of my eye and I pull myself away from Harry so quick that I stumble around in the water, splashing everywhere.

She raises her head, looking at us with an inquiring gaze.

I smile weakly. My heart feels like it's about to burst right out my chest and my skin tingles everywhere. I don't dare to look at Harry. If he knows what I was about to do, he'll think I'm some kind of psycho.

I still feel disappointed with myself as we walk back to the hotel later that day. I should've never been left alone with Harry.

And I just want to enjoy Kos without worrying about a _stupid_ crush.

-

That night, we're having dinner at a luxurious restaurant. I still don't understand how we can actually afford this. Maybe we can't. We'll find out after dinner, I guess.

'I'll have the lobster, please,' I tell the waiter, handing him my menu. If we're going to spend a lot of money on this, I might as well order something expensive.

Laura whistles. 'Ever had lobster before?'

I shake my head, smiling. 'No, but I bet it tastes like plain fish.'

She laughs, her nose scrunching up. Her laugh is very cute and infectious.

'So now we wait,' Niall announces.

I nod, shrugging. I still feel a bit weird after what happened between Harry and I in the pool. I can't let something like that ruin this holiday, or my friendship with Laura. I feel like there's a lot of tension between Harry and I, or maybe I'm just imagining it, but we definitely shouldn't act upon it. He's probably just into girls, not guys. He seemed a bit annoyed when I told him I was gay.

'Let's do a round of questions,' Laura says excitedly. 'Everyone has to ask a question and the rest answers. Truthfully, of course.'

We decide to do it, and I realize that I might actually get to know Harry a little bit now.

'No raunchy questions though,' Niall says, chuckling.

'Okay,' Laura claps her hand together. 'Who wants to go first?'

Harry speaks up, having been fairly quiet until now. 'I'll go first.' He smiles, and there's the dimple again. 'Have you ever smoked?'

Niall needs to answer first, since we're following the circle clock-wise.

'No,' he says, and his answer surprises me. We've never smoked together but I figured he'd have tried it by now.

I'm next. 'Yes,' I say. Harry's eyes find mine and I try to keep my face expressionless.

'Yes,' Laura says. 'Only once.'

I sip my drink, and surprisingly, there's a lot of alcohol in it. I'd just chosen a random drink that I never tried before. I might have to take it slow.

It's Niall's turn to ask a question.

'Ever shat your pants?' he asks boldly.

There's a short silence and then we all start to laugh.

He shakes his head, a wide grin plastered on his face. 'Lemme think of something else.' He rubs his chin in thought. His eyes lighten up suddenly. 'Ever kissed someone of the same sex?'

The question startles me. 'Yes,' I answer hesitantly. It wasn't a very good one, though.

I'm very aware of Harry's eyes on me and I quickly reach for my glass, taking a sip.

'No,' Laura says.

Then it's Harry's turn to answer. My interest piques, and I look up at him, putting my glass down. Could it be true? Has he ever kissed a guy in his life? It honestly wouldn't surprise me, he's very charming and he could get anyone wrapped around his finger.

'No,' he says finally, his dimple showing.

_Oh._

We all look at Niall, curious to what is answer would be. Usually we play it in a way that the person who asks the question doesn't have to answer it, but..

'Okay, okay,' he says. 'Yes, I have.'

I gasp in surprise. Niall? Kissed a guy? _Woah._

'It was a peck on the lips,' he adds. 'My brother.'

We let out a few groans and he bursts out laughing. I shake my head, chuckling. 'Stupid joke,' I tell him. 

He shrugs, grinning. 'I thought it was funny!'

I roll my eyes, smiling.

-

After dinner, I realize I might've drank a bit too much. As we walk back to the hotel, my legs feel heavy and my head feels light. It feels kind of nice, honestly.   
I accidentally stumble into Niall's side, and he steadies me with his hands, laughing.

'Dude, you're totally shit-faced!'

I grin, playfully pushing him away from me.

'I've had a few drinks, yeah,' I say and I bark out a laugh.

Harry looks at me over his shoulder with a smile, his eyes glinting with something I can't decipher in this state. Feeling bold and absolutely wasted, I make kissy lips at him and I wink.

His smile fades and his eyes darken. _Oops._ He doesn't think it's funny. Well he's just a homophobic ass anyway. I don't need him.

'I have an idea,' I blurt out. 'Let's go bowling!'


	5. Bowling Balls And Thin Walls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter for you guys.   
> I'm sorry, I know it took a while but I'm very busy, starting the new school year and all that.. So yeah.  
> But I hope you enjoy it anyway, and the next one will be up sooner, I promise!  
> x

'I haaate bowling shoes,' Laura groans, tying the laces of her red and white bowling shoes. 'They look so silly on me.'

'Babe, they look silly on everyone,' Harry reassures her, rubbing over her arm with his big palm.

I watch his hand with interest. Now that he's had a bit of alcohol, everything looks like it's more extreme. Harry's hands look extremely big. The word 'babe' rings in my ears as I tie my own shoes. I'm lucky my feet aren't that big. These shoes tend to look like boats.

'Speak for yourself, Mr. Big Feet. I look fabulous in these babies,' I say with a grin, and I stand up. I strike a pose, sticking my butt out.

Laura giggles and slaps my bum jokingly. I gasp and I swat her hands away from my body. I look at Harry. He's looking away.

It almost seems like he finds me disgusting, but now that I'm tipsy the thought makes me chuckle and the others look at me like I've grown two heads. I mean, I've barely met this guy and I actually thought there was like.. something between us and now I'm pretty sure he's anti-gay. I'm losing my mind here in Kos.

'Okay, let's start this thing,' Niall says, watching the screen and tapping a few buttons. We're at our bowling lane and there's a nice couch and a waiter brought us some delicious drinks. It's basically a perfect night out.

'Lemme begin,' I say, clapping my hands and I stand up to choose a bowling ball. I scan them quickly. There are lots of colors. And sizes. Sizes.. I wonder what size H-

'C'mon Lou! We ain't got 'til Christmas!' Niall yells, startling me from my wandering thoughts.

I pick a small pink one. It's very light-weighted. Perfect. I bring my arm back and I lean forward a bit. Then I think of something.

I push my bum back a bit, hopefully making it look good. It's not like I'd want a certain someone to notice, but..

In my drunk state, I practically throw the ball at the bowling pins, and it lands halfway on the lane with a loud thump. The wood creaks under the weight of it and I hear everyone gasp behind me.

'Shit! You like.. almost broke the lane!' Niall says, and I turn around to look at him with a smirk.

'Oh my god!' Laura exclaims, pointing in the direction of the pins.

I turn around to look. There are no pins left standing. I got a strike. I actually got a freaking strike. How is that even possible?

'Yes!' I pump my fist in the air.

'You're unbelievable,' Laura sighs, putting her head in her hands.

I laugh and I squeeze myself on the couch between Harry and Niall.

My knee bumps into Harry's and I notice the way he flinches. I look up at the side of his face. The structure of his face is really nice. Like really, really nice. Like the I-want-to-jump-your-bones kind of nice. Yeah.

His jaw moves as he says something to Laura and the tips of my fingers itch, like they're aching to touch his skin and just, feel.. There's even a slight stubble running along his jaw. If he were into guys and not my best friend's boyfriend, he'd be perfect. More than perfect. I've never been this attracted to someone, I realize in that moment.   
His face turns towards me. Probably 'cause he felt my stare on him.

I quickly look away, and I become very aware of the side of our legs touching. I can feel the warmth of his skin through the thick cloth of his jeans, and I can also smell him. His smell is undescribable, it's thát good.

I lean forward to reach for my drink, and I purposefully press my knee against his a bit harder. I don't know why I do it and I probably shouldn't, but I mean.. He's so beautiful.

And then, he does the unthinkable.

He presses back!

I swear my heart stops, and in the corner of my eye, I can sense him looking down at our knees. He moves his knee against mine a bit, and then looks away as if nothing ever happened.

There are goosebumps all over my arms and I stare at the glass in my hand. Holy fucking shit. I didn't know some knee-rubbing could feel so... erotic. Steamy. Spicy.

To my dismay, he then stands up and goes to choose a bowling ball. I watch the way he moves. It's nice. His back is very broad. I think about what happened like, a second ago.  
He rubbed his leg against mine, on purpose! I mean, I think it was on purpose. It was definitely on purpose. He looked at what he was doing. He was like, a 100 % aware of what he was doing.

I look down. I can't believe that got me half-hard, but it did.

* * *

The rest of the night is a blur. Mostly because I'm drunk as hell, and because the waiter kept serving more and more alcohol, but also because I needed the whole time to recover from the knee-rubbing incident.

All my throws after the strike were completely useless, since my mind just wasn't in the game. The problem in my pants luckily disappeared soon enough.

Oh, and I got to witness one of Laura and Harry's kisses for the first time. Laura was sitting in his lap, and I sat next to him on the couch, while trying not to let our knees touch. I figured I should avoid that to happen at all costs.

Then, Harry brought Laura's face down by her neck and started kissing her. Like, thoroughly kissing her. There were lots of smacking noises, and I felt so cringy, looking away. Niall wasn't even there to distract me, 'cause it was his turn.

But the worst thing was; I felt jealous. I hate to admit it but I can't lie. I was definitely jealous. Of Laura, obviously. And I felt so stupid, and mean. And like I was the worst friend in the world.

Laura pulled away from Harry after a while, looking at him with a slight frown and a smile.

'That was very sudden,' she said, pecking him on the lips once more. Then it was her turn and she got up from his lap to choose a ball.

I felt anger towards Harry for making me feel so jealous. It almost felt like that was the exact reaction he'd tried to provoke from me. And he succeeded. I wanted revenge.

So the rest of the night, I made sure to stick my bum out whenever I could, hoping he would see and appreciate the view, admire a piece of ass he was never gonna get. Doing that made me feel like an even worse friend, but hey, I was drunk so it didn't really matter anyways.

And now, we're on our way back to the hotel, squeezed together in the back seat of a cab.

'That was so much fun,' I say. I won with bowling. I actually won.

Niall wrinkles his nose. 'Your breath reeks of alcohol, mate.'

'I know,' I giggle, leaning heavily into his side.

I hear smacking sounds coming from the other side of Niall and my smile immediately fades.

* * *

I open my eyes, and I blink a few times, trying to see my surroundings. It's completely black. I blink again. It's still pitch black. Am I blind?

I look at the clock on the night stand. It's three o'clock in the morning.

Then I hear a thump. I sit up in my bed, pricking up my ears.

There's another thump, and I hear someone giggling softly. My stomach swoops with a feeling of discomfort and I let myself fall back down on my bed. Harry and Laura are having sex. And the walls are thin.

I look over at Niall's bed, but he seems like he's in a sound sleep. No movement comes from him.

I sigh softly, closing my eyes tightly, wanting to block out the sounds coming from the room beside ours.

I hear a soft grunt, and something in my lower belly stirs. So that's what Harry sounds like in bed, having sex. I imagine him steadily moving his hips. In, out, in, out.. Going a bit faster, and then a bit slower, and deeper. His strong arms caging me in.. I mean, Laura. Caging Laura in. I'm overcome with the jealous feeling again, and I feel horrible.

There's a low groan and I shift beneath my blankets, trying to get comfortable and fall asleep again. I feel the lower parts of my body react to what's happening not very far from me and I want to pull my hair out of my head. I'm not getting hard from listening to him having sex. Nope, nope, nope. I kind of am, though.

The occasional thumps go on for another ten minutes, and then there are a few soft, stifled moans and it's quiet again. I hear sheets ruffling. They're done. Finally. Who has sex in the middle of the night anyway?

I close my eyes and I try very hard not to think about what I just heard. I think about the grossest and the most awful things, trying to chase away the feeling of arousal deep in my gut. I think about how I might never find the perfect guy for me and how I must've looked so silly and desperate, showing off my butt at the bowling centre, and that does it. I slowly fall asleep.

* * *

The next morning, Niall and I are sitting at the breakfast table, enjoying the delicious sandwiches and fruits the roomservice brought us. We knocked on Laura and Harry's door about half an hour ago, and they're still in there. Probably having morning sex.

The thought is very unwelcome and reminds me of what happened this morning. I quickly try to shake off the thoughts, focusing on the food instead.

'This is amazing,' Niall says around his sandwich, chewing wildly.

I raise an eyebrow at him. 'You eat like a pig.'

'I just love food.' He grins at me. 'You were so drunk last night by the way. Your hangover must be terrible.'

I cringe thinking about yesterday night. 'Yeah. 's Pretty bad,' I say, referring to my hangover, which is giving me a headache.

'I don't think I've ever seen you that drunk, it was crazy. You were shaking your bum the whole time, it was hilarious,' he says with a smile, blue eyes gazing at the ceiling as if picturing the moments.

I feel my cheeks heaten up, and I shift in my seat. 'I was not,' is my weak reply.

'Oohhh, you so were. Did you see a hot guy there who you wanted to impress?' he says jokingly.

I look down, picking at my food with my fork. I know he doesn't mean what he said in a bad way but I still feel ridicilous. If he only knew who I was trying to impress.

Niall clearly notices that I'm becoming very silent, and he breaks the silence by clearing his throat. 'Well, whoever it was.. I bet he was very, very impressed.'

He wiggles his eyebrows and I laugh, but it sounds more like a whimper. I don't think so, Niall..


	6. Lingerie

It's the second day on Kos and we decided to go shopping in the small village. Laura and I are walking together and Harry and Niall are behind us, talking to eachother.

'Are you okay, Louis? You seem a bit off today,' Laura says with a concerned look on her face.

'Oh, I'm okay. Just a bit tired. And hungover,' I say, giving her a small smile. She's always looking out for me, and that's one of the things that makes her such an amazing friend. It's like she'll never forget about me, and that's a comforting thought.

'Okay. You'd tell me if there's something going on, right?' she asks, bumping her shoulder into mine.

I nod, looking at the ground. 'Of course.'

I look at her, and she's smiling at me. She's so sweet. And in that moment I feel so awful for all the thoughts that have been running through my mind. I just need to stop thinking about him. He's attractive, but he's taken and I think he's straight. He's with my best friend. He's forbidden. And I need to get myself together.

'You know, I really think you should get some new clothes,' Laura suddenly says, turning her body towards me and grabbing my elbow. 'I mean, when is the last time you've been shopping for yourself?'

I frown. 'Not that long ago.' Hmm.. 4 months. 'Okay, maybe..'

'Yay! I looove shopping with you! I remember that time when we went to the lingerie shop, do you remember that?' she asks excitedly, her eyes big.

I stare at her, my eyes wide. Please don't go there, please don't go there.

She doesn't get the message. 'Oh my god!' she gasps. 'You even tried on a thong!'

I notice how Niall and Harry have stopped talking, and I close my eyes, praying for her to stop already.

'With suspenders! I know we weren't being serious back then, but that actually looked so good on you, Lou. I'm not even into that kind of stuff for myself, but you looked smoking.' I die inwardly as she rambles on and on. 'We could go shopping for some lingerie now if you want? I swear, it looked so good on you.' She smiles at the memory. 'I can't believe I almost forgot about that-'

'Laura!' I finally hiss.

'Did you just say Louis tried on a thong?' Niall asks with a curious look on his face, the hint of a smile at the corners of his lips.

I shake my head. 'No, no, she's just-'

'Hell yeah! Louis, you don't need to be ashamed. You looked hella fine!' she exclaims. 'And your butt, your butt looked-'

'Okay, okay. Too much information,' Niall says, smirking.

I glance at the boys. Niall looks a bit shocked, but very amused. Harry looks like he's seen a ghost. And he looks a bit flustered. His eyes lock with mine, and he runs a hand through his hair, the corner of his mouth quirking up the tiniest bit.

'Let's just.. Look for some trousers, okay? I could use a nice new pair of trousers,' I say, sighing softly. Leave it to Laura to bring up a subject that's totally inappropriate. I'm kind of mortified.

'Sorry if I embarrassed you, Lou. But I meant it. You looked great,' she says. 'But a pair of trousers is fine too! We can always go shopping for some lingerie together another time.'

My face feels like it's burning up and I roll my eyes, chuckling nervously.

* * *

'Try this on,' Laura says, shoving two pairs of trousers past the curtain of the changing room.

I take them from her, and I stare at them. They're a very small size. I could never fit in this. I always wear tight trousers, but I don't want to look like I can't read tags.

I push them back at her. 'Too small.'

She pushes them back immediately. 'Try them on first, okay? I know what I'm doing,' she says pleadingly.

I sigh, taking the clothes from her and slowly taking my own clothes off. I like shopping every once in a while but I hate the changing part; I'm very lazy.

I put my feet in the holes one at a time and I pull the trousers up my legs. They bunch up under my bum at first, but I give them a tug and.. they fit. Sort of. They feel tight, but not like they're unwearably tight.

I turn around to look in the mirror. Woah. I turn my bum towards the mirror, and I think this could work, actually. Bless Laura. When she says she knows what she's doing, she isn't lying.

'Do you have them on?' she asks from outside the changing room.

I nod, staring at myself in the mirror. I realize she can't see me. 'Yeah.'

'Really? They probably look amazing on you, don't they?' she peeks her head around the curtain, and her eyes widen as she runs them up and down my body. 'Oh my god! Come out of here, there's a bigger mirror over here.'

She pulls me out of the changing room by my elbow and puts me in front of a very big mirror.

I blush when I see Harry and Niall standing further away in the shop, both of them looking at me in my very tight jeans.

Niall laughs. 'Wow.'

Then there's a whistle, and I swear it's Harry who's doing it. I look at them in the mirror. It was definitely Harry. Niall and him both chuckle lightly. Was he making fun of me? I quickly sneak back into the changing room.

'Now try the other one!' Laura says, clapping her hands in excitement.

* * *

When we return to the hotel, it's time for dinner and we decide to order in a pizza and watch a nice movie on the couch.

I take a bite from a slice of pizza as I settle back in the couch. Niall sits down on the large comfy chair close to the television. Harry sits down next to me while Laura rummages through a pile of DVD's we took with us.

Harry's scent washes over me and I shiver a bit. He just showered, and he smells heavenly. The thought of Harry naked in the shower slips into my mind. Waterdrops running over his chest and back, dripping down his hair. Dripping down even further, into the crack of his ass and down his long legs. I remember the way he looked in the swimming pool. Divine. Those muscles..

Then, I feel Harry's eyes on me. My reaction to him is obvious; I stopped chewing as soon as he sat down next to me. I quickly continue chewing, trying to appear as if nothing happened.

'Let's watch Sinister!' Laura says, holding up the DVD in her hand and turning towards us.

'No,' I say, at the same moment that Harry and Niall exclaim a loud: 'Yes!'

'It sounds horrifying!' I groan.

'It is, but it's a really cool movie. I've already seen it once,' Laura says, while she pushes the DVD into the player.

She sits down next to Harry and cuddles up against him. One of her hands is on his stomach and the other one is curled around his arm. And I'm definitely not staring.

The screen lights up and the movie starts after Laura presses the 'Play' button.

The movie gets pretty scary about half an hour in, and then a jump scare pops up and I yelp, putting my hands in front of my face. That happens two more times, and the last time I scream.

Harry lifts his arm and motions for me to scoot over. 'Come here,' he says with a small smirk, and there's a certain glint in his eyes that I can't decipher. His hair is slightly tousled from the shower and there's that dimple again. This boy.

My skin prickles as I stare at the spot he made for me at his side. Oh god.

Laura looks at me and giggles. She probably thinks Harry and I are getting on really well.

I hesitantly scoot over to his side, and I slide into the nook of his arm. I try to relax, but I fail miserably. His body pressed against mine feels amazing, he blows my mind. He curls his hand around my shoulder and presses me a little closer in an effort to make me feel more relaxed. The warmth of his hand burns my shoulder and makes me feel tingly. Holy shit. And his sméll!

The rest of the movie, I can't really remember seeing as I've only been able to concentrate on Harry, Harry and Harry. I feel like I'm intoxicated with Harry. Drunk on Harry.

Then, the credits are rolling and I even missed the scariest part of the movie.


	7. A New Face

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A new chapter! Hope you enjoy.

The next morning, I wake up and I rub my eyes sleepily. Yay! There were no sex sounds to wake me up this time. I look at the clock. It's still very early in the morning and the apartment is completely silent. Everyone's still asleep.

I look over at Niall's bed. The duvet only covers one half of his body, his leg dangling off the edge of the bed, and his mouth wide open, letting out soft snores. I have to admit, he looks very cute when he's asleep. He's always very energetic so that must've worn him out like this.

I sit up in my bed and I stand up. Then I tiptoe across the room to get to the door, and since I suddenly feel very hungry for some food, I make my way to the kitchen. I come to a halt in the doorway. Laura's sitting at the kitchen table, sipping on a cup of coffee.

I must've made some sort of noise, because her eyes shoot up, startled by my sudden appearance. Then her eyes soften. She looks a bit forlorn, sad almost.

'Hey Lou,' she says, putting her coffee down on the table.

'Hey,' I say, softly. I slowly make my way over to the table and I sit down next to her. I turn to face her in my chair, making her look at me. 'What's going on?'

She averts her eyes, shrugging her shoulders a bit. 'It's nothing..'

I raise my eyebrows at her, and she sighs.

'It's stupid,' she says, shaking her head.

'Talk to me, Laura.' I give her a stern look.

'Okay, there's just.. I think-' she visibly struggles to find the words. 'I think there's something wrong.. You know, between Harry and me,' she finally admits, looking down at her hands.

Okay, not what I expected. My interest piques, and I stare at her, waiting for more information on the subject.

She continues. 'It just feels like something's a bit off lately. Since we've come here, actually. He's been acting a bit strange, I guess. And I can't help but feel like there's something I did, something that put him off.' She puts her head in her hands. I notice the way her hands are trembling slightly.

I feel guilty, even though I never really did anything.

'But.. I saw the way he kissed you,' I say, putting my hand on her back in a comforting manner. The memory of them kissing is still fresh in my mind and I try not to think about it too much.

She shakes her head again, and I can see a tear dripping down onto the dark wooden surface of the table. 'He kissed me, but it felt weird. When he kissed me, it almost felt like he was asking me for something I couldn't give him. It was very sudden, and unlike him.. I don't know, Louis.'

I clear my throat. 'But he.. He made love to you, right? That night, he-'

She gasps and looks up at me. Her cheeks are tearstained, her eyes wide with shock. 'You heard that?'

I nod slowly. She groans and hides her face behind her hands again. I take her hands away from her eyes and I force her to look at me.

'Hey, it's okay. You're allowed to have sex with your boyfriend, you know,' I say, trying to reassure her. The words make me feel sick.

Her eyes flick between mine, and her lower lip wobbles. 'I felt so awful.'

I frown. 'What do you mean?' I'm a 100 % sure I heard her giggle that night.

'He.. He didn't-' she hiccups, then takes a deep breath as I wait for her to continue. 'He didn't get there,' she whispers, looking away, blushing. A fresh tear rolls down her cheek.

Does she mean he didn't come? I don't know how that makes me feel, but I know that must've hurt her feelings so bad, and in that moment, I just want to console her and be a good friend for once.

I wrap my arms around her, holding her close to my chest. I inhale her flowery scent and I sigh. 'Don't overthink it, okay?'

'I already am,' she sobs. 'And last night, he started kissing me when we got in bed, and you know, we were kind of getting into it, at least that's what I thought, and then he just.. stopped. He said he was tired.'

I feel bad for her. Very bad. And there's a part of me that feels something else, but I'm definitely ignoring that part.

'Hey, I'm sure he'd tell you if there's something going on. Just try to keep your mind on other things, like the fact that we're on Kos and how amazing it is here. What a great time we're having. This is what we saved money for, for such a long time! And now it's all happening,' I mutter into her hair.

She nods and hugs me tighter. 'I'm so glad I have you as my friend,' she sighs, her voice shaky.

I rub her back with a weak smile on my face.

* * *

That afternoon, we go to the beach. I can tell Laura is in a better mood than this morning. The thought that I helped her by talking to her about it makes me feel happy.

She has this radiating smile on her face, like she's not gonna let anything ruin this holiday for her. She looks amazing in her bikini, she's in shape and she's tanned. Even when she's showing a lot of skin, she still manages to look classy. Harry must think she's the most sexy, beautiful person he's ever known. And yet he didn't get his release. I still don't get it. I mean, I'm gay but I'm not blind. She's stunning.

I look over at him. I expected him to be drooling over her, but his eyes are on me. He's looking me up and down, and then his eyes flick to mine. The green intensity of them startles me and suddenly, I feel very selfconscious and bare in just my swimming trunks. Heat rises to my cheeks and I have to look away. What's his deal?

'I'm gonna take a swim, who's coming with me?' Laura asks excitedly. I see the way she shoots a specific glance at Harry, waiting for him to join in.

'I'm in!' Niall says, hopping up from his spot and patting the sand from his backside.

She grins at him.

'I'll join you guys later,' I say, wanting to lay here for a bit and try to get a nice tan.

Laura nods and turns towards her boyfriend. 'Harry?'

I can feel his eyes on me, and I keep mine locked on the big waves in the sea.

'Nah, you guys go. 'm Just gonna lay back for a bit,' he finally says, the deep rumble in his voice flooding my body like a tidal wave.

Laura looks vaguely disappointed, but she gives him a forced smile. 'Okay. Yeah. That's.. Okay!' she murmurs, and hooks her arm through Niall's. 'C'mon Niall!' They take off towards the sea together and then it's just me and Harry.

He stands up from where he was sitting and lowers himself beside me on the hot sand. I hold my breath, trying not to let his smell in. His smell is just so unfair. My pulse is erratic as we lay there, under the hot sun.

Suddenly, I feel angry with him. I feel angry with him because of the way he acts around me, like he's anti-gay or something. And he's hurting my best friend! He's ruining all of this for her. He's ruining all of this for me. Why does he have to be so goddamn attractive? Why can't I stop thinking about him?

'Hot,' he says, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turn my face towards him, confused. 'It's very hot.'

'Yeah, it is,' I say awkwardly. 'Hopefully I'll get a nice tan,' I continue, trying to make conversation.

His eyes run up and down my body like they did before, and I squirm under his gaze. He needs to quit doing that. My heart feels like it's exploding. He sees the way I'm squirming and his nostrils flare a bit, his jaw clenching.

'You're very tanned already,' he says lowly.

'Stop doing that,' I suddenly blurt out, and my hand twitches with the urge to slap my hand in front of my mouth. Stupid, stupid. I'm so stupid.

His eyes are still locked with mine, his gaze never faltering.

'What do you mean?' he asks.

'Just, everything.' And then, I can't seem to shut up. 'You keep looking at me like you're disgusted by me, or something. I'm gay, alright? Deal with it.' I stand up from the sand, my heart beating at a frantic pace.

'Wh-'

'I'm gonna join the others,' I interrupt him, walking away from him with long strides.

Then, I feel his fingers wrap around my arm, and I come to a halt almost immediately, a current running through my body as a reaction to his touch.

'Louis,' his soft voice says behind me.

I turn around, my eyes averted to the ground, looking anywhere but at him. His hand is still wrapped around my arm, as if he's scared I might run away if he doesn't hold on to me. The thought makes my heart swell, and I glance up into his eyes.

There's a somewhat desperate look in his eyes, and he seems to have an inner struggle. His hand drops from my arm then, and I instantly miss the feeling. The spot he touched burns, and so do my cheeks. As they always do in his presence. It's so unlike me. I'm always the sassy one, with witty comebacks and all. And now I'm just.. crumbling in front of him.

'I'm not disgusted by you. How could you think that?' His voice is so soft, like a beautiful melody in my ears, and his words ring in my ears. So he's not disgusted by me. Then why does he keep looking at me like.. the way I look at him.. My heart leaps a bit. Could he..? No. He might not be anti-gay but that doesn't mean he's bi. 'You're reading me all wrong,' he murmurs, so soft that it's barely audible. But I heard.

He runs a hand through his curls, lifting the hair away from his forehead, his eyes flicking away from mine. I wait for him to say more, because he looks like he wants to, but he doesn't. Suddenly, I feel ashamed of what I said to him. I'm being ridiculous.

'I'm sorry,' I say, and he looks up at me again. He looks so young from up close, and yet so manly. His lips look so curvy and soft, I want to taste them. Laura gets to taste them. I realize I'm staring at his lips again, and I look up into his gaze.

'I was overreacting,' I add, chewing on my lower lip.

'No, no,' he says, shaking his head. 'It's.. Yeah. I-' He stops himself and I almost want to physically shake the words out of him. What does he want to say to me? 'Let's.. Let's join the others,' he finally says.

I feel something like disappointment rushing through me, and I nod slowly.

He nods a few more times to himself, as if to convince himself. It's scary how badly I want to know what he's thinking right now. But unfortunately, I can't read minds. And he doesn't speak his mind. So that's pretty difficult.

* * *

That night, we're at a club. I'm sitting at the bar with Niall, as Laura asked Harry to dance with her. I can't help but sneak a glance at the two of them every now and then. I feel like I'm torturing myself.

Her back is turned towards him as their hips sway together to the music. She's wearing a stunning, glittery blue dress that reaches to above her knees. She looks magnificent. And so does he. He's wearing a blouse with the top buttons undone. His necklace dangles against his glistening, tanned skin and I'm practically drooling. His hands have a firm grip on her hips, and his head is on his shoulder. He's saying something in her ear, and she laughs. I guess everything's okay between them again.

'See that girl over there?' Niall shouts in my ear, and I turn towards him with a frown.

He points somewhere behind me and I look.

'The one in the red dress, black hair.'

She's standing in a small circle of girls. They're laughing very loudly about something and they all got drinks in their hands. She looks very pretty, her eyes a very rich brown, as far as I can see from here. She flicks her hair over her shoulder and sips from her drink. Then I notice how she's looking at us. Well, specifically, at Niall.

I grin at him, raising my eyebrows.

He smirks, his blue eyes dancing with delight. 'I'm gonna talk to her,' he mouths at me, putting his drink down on the bar. He makes his way over to her with a swaggery walk and I chuckle. He taps on her shoulder, and she turns around to face him. She immediately blushes. He says something in her ear and she nods, then excuses herself from the small group of girls. They disappear into the crowd. That's when I realize that I'm sitting alone now.

It's a bit depressing, really. I quickly down my drink and just when I'm about to ask for another, a smooth voice pipes up from beside me.

'Hey.'

A guy with raven-black hair, gorgeous brown eyes with longer lashes than I've seen on any girl ever, slight stubble and a lot of tattoos sits down on the barstool next to me. He smells like cigarettes and a very nice cologne. He looks good. Very, very good.

'Fancy a drink?' he asks, his nicely-shaped lips curving into a small smirk.

I feel the need to flirt back, so I smile at him, turning my body towards him a little more to show that I'm interested. 'Yeah, thanks. I'll have a Jack and Coke.'

He nods, winking at me and calling the bartender over. He orders our drinks and holds his hand out for me to shake. 'I'm Zayn,' he shouts over the music.

I tell him my name and he smiles and holds my hand a little longer than necessary. I don't mind, though. I notice how he traps his tongue between his teeth when he smiles. He's very fit.

'You here on holiday?' he asks. I like how he's trying to make conversation, even though we're in a club with music on that's way too loud.

I try to explain that I'm here with a group of friends, but, with the thumping bass of the song, it's a useless attempt. He chuckles, his nose scrunching up. He runs a finger over his stubbly chin as he watches me struggle. I give up, and I laugh softly. I decide to be blunt, so I reach for his hand.

'Dance with me?' I mouth at him, standing up from my barstool.

He nods, his lips forming a lopsided smile. 'Gladly.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ZEN IS IN DA HOUSEE


	8. Telephone Numbers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeyyyyyy, here's another chapter! I'm sorry I didn't upload one this weekend, I was very busy and there was a lot on my mind. I definitely should be asleep right now, but I felt inspired so I thought; why not finish the damn chapter.   
> So yay here it is! Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to leave a comment! Love those :)   
> x

I lead Zayn towards the dance floor, holding his hand all the way there. I feel very comfortable around him, like we've already known each other for years, although we just met.   
I turn towards him when we reach the middle of the dance floor and I release his hand. He looks very hot under the dark lights of the club. His dark eyes shine and never leave mine.

I turn my back towards him, and I start dancing and swaying my hips to the left and to the right, silently inviting him to come closer. A moment later, I feel his solid chest against my back. He places his hands on my hips, and I feel his breath on the bare part of my shoulder and on the back of my neck. I shiver a bit.

'You're fit,' he says, his voice like honey. His thumb slips under the hem of my shirt, rubbing small circles into my hipbone.

I turn my face to the side. 'You too,' I mumble, blushing a bit. I hope he can't see it with all the lights.

I see his grin in the corner of my eye, the white of his teeth contrasting with the dark lights. He presses a bit more against my back, and I press back. It just.. It feels good to have someone flirt with you and compliment you. And he's very handsome.

I start to really move, especially the lower part of my body. I move my backside back against him, and I hear his sharp intake of breath. I lick my dry lips, tasting Jack and Coke on them.

'Amazing,' he says, his hands sliding around my backside, squeezing me gently. All the attention makes me feel wanted, and my heartbeat accellerates. He wraps an arm around my stomach, pulling our bodies flush. I can feel his bulge against my bum, and it sends a wave of awareness through me. He's definitely not the only one who's excited.

His other hand slides into my hair, and pulls my head back softly. I let out a soft gasp, and he nuzzles his nose against my throat, teasing me. A shudder runs through my body, and suddenly, I imagine it's Harry who's standing behind me. One of his big hands wrapped around my body and manhandling me, and the other one in my hair, pulling my head back. His curls tickling my neck. His curvy, soft lips pressed against my shoulder. The thought arouses me, and because it does, I try to shake it off, and focus on the fact that this is Zayn. And I want Zayn. I do.

He slowly turns me around by the hips, until we're face to face. His eyes are heavy-lidded, his forehead glistening. I lick my lips one more time. My mouth is so dry. His eyes drop to my lips, and I know what's coming. And I'm letting it happen.

He leans in, and captures my lips in a kiss, his soft ones pressed softly against mine. At first, I forget what I'm supposed to do, but then, I start moving my mouth against his. He makes a sound of approval in his throat, and cups my bum again.

He opens his mouth and I let him in. He's a very good kisser. Like, technically. He knows what he's doing. And he tastes like a mix of mint and cigarettes. I just follow his lead.   
Then, he presses me against him, firmly. I feel his hard-on and mine rub together, and I subtly try to break the kiss.

He looks down at me with a lustful gaze, but also a slightly concerned one.

'What?' he asks, a little breathless.

I awkwardly create a small distance between us. 'I'm.. I don't..'

He seems to understand, and his lips curve into a small smile. 'It's okay. No biggie.' He reassures me by rubbing my arm.

'No, I-' I start to stutter.

'Let's go somewhere a bit quieter,' he says, and he gently grabs my hand, pulling me along with him to the toilets.

'That smell though,' I groan as soon as we enter, wrinkling my nose.

He chuckles. The sound is really nice. He's very nice.

'But what I wanted to say is that I do like you. And I'd love to meet you again. Like, tomorrow, somewhere?' I ask hesitantly, peering up at him. Now that I see him in a brighter light, I can really see him. He looks even better like this. But there's a feeling in my gut that tells me he's not someone I could have a relationship with.

He smirks. 'Yeah, okay. Tomorrow. I'll give you my number.'

I smile at him, and hand him my phone. He quickly types it in, and gives it back to me. He put his name with a smiley next to it. Very cute, I think to myself.

'I'll text you,' I tell him with a wide smile.

He smiles back at me. Then his smile drops. 'Ugh, now I'm gonna have to walk around with a hard-on. You've got some crazy grinding skills, Louis,' he groans, looking pained.

My face heats up at his words, and I playfully push against his arm. 'Shut up.'

* * *

After Zayn and I said our goodbyes, I look for Niall in the crowd. I spot him somewhere in a dark corner, kissing the shit out of the girl he danced with earlier. He's pressing her against the wall, and has her wrists pinned by her sides. At the moment, he's starting to kiss down to her neck. The heated image surprises me; I never thought Niall would get this.. frisky with someone.

Suddenly, I feel someone's hand around my wrist, and I look up. It's Laura. Harry's behind her, one of his hands on her lower back. The tired look in Laura's eyes tells me that they're not even near okay, although they seemed like they were when they were dancing earlier. Harry confirms my thoughts; he looks almost depressed. His eyes bore into mine, and I choose to focus on Laura instead.

'Let's go back to the hotel, yeah?' she asks, her voice flat.

I nod.

'Where's Niall?'

I look over to Niall and the girl in the corner, and she follows my gaze. She looks a bit shocked, and uncomfortable.

'Um,' she says, looking away quickly. As if it's the first time she sees two people kissing.

'Yeah.' I chuckle softly.

'Should we..?'

'Probably,' I sigh.

'You should go,' she says.

'No!' I protest. 'Why? You go.'

'Louis.' She gives me a stern look and puts her hands on her hips.

I hold her gaze stubbornly at first, but then I give up, and I sigh. I walk towards Niall and his girl, and I can hear the smacking noises from a few meters distance. Gross. I decide to give him a little warning, so I shout: 'Niall!'

He stops kissing the girl's neck and lifts his head. He frowns, and mouths: What?

'We're going back!'

He visibly sighs, his shoulders sagging a bit. I feel a little guilty. He's very picky with girls, so I probably ruined the moment. But it's kinda funny as well. He turns to the girl again, and they look like they're swapping their telephone numbers.

Then he makes his way over to me, and puts his hands on my shoulders, shaking me softly.

'Thanks for that.'

I grin at him. 'Anytime.'

* * *

That night, after we've returned to the hotel, we decide to watch a movie. It's not that late yet, anyway. We left pretty early.

'Why did we have to leave this early again? I could be kissing Sam right now,' Niall groans, rubbing his eye with the palm of his hand. His hair is a mess, and it looks so soft. Niall's hair always looks soft. He's sitting on the other end of the couch, his feet propped up on the coffeetable.

'So that's her name, huh?' I wonder out loud, abstenmindedly reaching out to touch Niall's hair with the tips of my fingers. I wonder how he'd look with his natural hair color.

He raises his head and pulls it back a bit as he notices my reaching fingers. He raises his eyebrows and I drop my hand in my lap, reading the warning in his eyes. I know he doesn't like when people touch his hair or ruffle it or things like that, but you know, it was worth a try.

He looks at his hand and bites on his thumbnail distractedly. 'Yep. Sam. Samantha. Very nice girl.'

I grin at him, shaking my head. 'Niall found himself a bird.'

He looks up at me, his blue eyes shine under the warm light of the room. He lets out a laugh and looks down at his hands again, a faint red spreading over his cheeks.   
From the beginning, it felt like Niall was my little brother. While he's helped me a lot to get over the whole gay thing, I've taken care of him too. He can be very sensitive and emotional, although you wouldn't say so when you see him. He seems like he's always happy and stuff, but he can be very insecure sometimes.

I look over at Laura and Harry. They're talking among themselves on the other couch. Laura looks frustrated, and Harry looks irritated. The corners of his mouth are slightly turned downwards. I attempt to tune into the conversation out of curiousity, but then he's standing up.

'I'm just tired, okay?' he sneers with an angry tone to his voice. His voice sends a small shock through my chest, though I don't really know why.

Harry walks away towards their bedroom down the hall, the wood creaking under his soft socks. I watch his form disappear into the hall, and I look at Laura. She looks like she's on the verge of crying. She gives me a forced smile, and pulls her sleeves over her hands.

'Let's watch that movie,' she says, her voice wavery.

One hour into the movie, Niall is sound asleep on the couch, his leg dangling over the armrest. Light snores escape his mouth.

Laura looks at him once, and then turns her body towards me. I look at her and wait.

'I'm worried, Louis,' she says breathily. I can see the concern in her deep brown eyes, and the happiness that I usually see in them is hard to see now.

'I don't know what I did, but I do know that something's wrong. I haven't had many relationships, but I'm not blind. I just can't figure it out,' she whispers, and drops her head into her hands. She sniffles softly.

I reach out, laying my arm on her back.

'He tells me there's nothing wrong, and that he's just not feeling well. But I don't.. I don't believe him,' she says, and a single tear rolls down her cheek.

'Hey, it's okay,' I say lamely, trying to reassure her.

'No, it's not! And I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna find out what's going on here!' she says firmly. She stands up and strides towards the bedroom. She opens the door to their room and goes inside.

A little while later, I hear voices. It doesn't sound like they're fighting.

After a half hour, I wake Niall and I tell him everyone's going to bed. He reluctantly follows me to our bedroom.

On our way there, I hear soft moans coming from Harry and Laura's room.


	9. Towels And Sweaters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter for you, I hope you like it! Be sure to leave a comment :) x

The next day, I wake up with a heavy feeling in my stomach. But more like, on my stomach. It's pressing me down into the mattress. I open my eyes slowly, and the first thing I see is Niall laying on top of me, snoring softly.

I startle a bit, and I sit up in my bed, trying not to wake him. His hair tickles my arm. An idea pops into my head. I reach out to touch his hair, fully aware that he's not awake to keep me from doing it. I slowly stroke over his blond locks, admiring the feel of it. His hair is really nice. I'm such a creep.

I decide to wake him anyways, so I softly shake him by his shoulders.

'Niall,' I whisper.

He lets out a sleepy sigh and I shake him again.

'Wakey-wakey honey,' I purr, and his eyelids flutter, his eyebrows scrunching up.

Then, his eyes fly open, and he clearly realizes in what position he is, because he rolls off my body immediately, and lands on the ground with a thump and a loud 'Ow!'.

I laugh softly, and he sits up to look at me.

'What the hell?' he asks, rubbing over his head. 'Why was I on top of you a few seconds ago?'

'Well, people tend to do that when they're sleeping in the same room as me. I'm kinda getting used to it,' I say, my words accompanied by a wink.

'I'm sorry, that must've been very uncomfortable for you,' he says with a pained expression on his face. 'It's been a very long time since the last time I sleepwalked, but apparently, it's still in my system.'

'Yeah, apparently,' I say, chuckling.

A bright smile appears on his face as well, and he shakes his head. 'Anyway. Did you still have a good time after I left you in the club yesterday?' he asks, while standing up and laying down on his own bed. He lays on his side, and supports his head with his hand as he waits for my answer.

'Eh, yeah. I met someone,' I say, and I blush a little, memories of the night before replaying before my eyes.

Niall makes a surprised sound in the back of his throat. 'Oh? Who?' he asks, curiousity clear in his features.

'His name's Zayn, and I'm meeting up with him today on the beach. He stays in a hotel nearby, he told me,' I say, while tracing invisible cirkles with my finger on the white duvet.

Niall whistles through his teeth. 'Did you guys have a quickie, or.. ?'

The blunt question surprises me and I frown at him. 'No, you pervert. We danced for a bit. And we kissed. And stuff.'

'Right. So, do you think this is gonna turn into something serious?'

I shrug nonchalantly. 'Maybe.' I don't think so.

'Oooooooohhh, Louis' got a little crush!' Niall says, making a heart shape with his hands.

'Stop it,' I say, throwing a pillow at his head.

* * *

'So you're meeting him at the beach?' Laura asks, while lifting a spoonful of cereal to her mouth.

The four of us are eating our breakfast at the kitchen table. Niall's eating like an animal, as usual. Harry looks a bit tired, and his hair disheveled since he just came out of bed. He raises his eyes from where he was looking down at his plate, and we make eyecontact. Though he looks tired, his eyes are focused and awake. One of his curls falls over his right eye and my fingers itch to reach out and smooth his hair back. I start to wonder why he's looking at me when I realize I've been asked a question.

I look at Laura. 'Yeah. I don't really know if it's only him, though. He might take some friends with him, I'm not sure.'

'Oh, okay. That might be fun,' she says, smiling at me. I'm not sure if she's actually feeling better or not. I mean, I heard what happened in their room last night, but she doesn't look like she's really okay.

'So is he nice?' she asks.

'Yes, he's very nice. Very charming,' I tell her. Then I feel the need to share some more information. 'A good kisser as well.'

Her eyebrows raise immediately, and she tries to say something, but her mouth is full. She splutters for a bit, and I laugh.

I shoot a brief glance at Harry. His eyes are already trained on my face, so I immediately look away again, but not before noticing the way the corners of his mouth are turned downwards a bit, his features seeming a bit tense. My stomach flutters for some reason.

So I continue. 'A good dancer as well. He got very excited,' I say, wiggling my eyebrows and smiling mischievously.

'Oh god, no more, no more,' Niall groans.

'He even-'

'We get the point, Louis,' Harry suddenly says, his tone clipped. My stomach tightens in a reaction to his low, annoyed voice. His eyes burn into mine, and it's almost as if there's a warning in them. I take that as a challenge to be the last one to look away, so I hold his gaze stubbornly.

It quickly turns into a stare competition, and my heart is beating somewhere in my throat. Laura clears her throat, obviously sensing the tension between us, and she puts a gentle hand on Harry's arm. 'Harry.. ?' she asks with an unsure tone to her voice.

My eyes involuntary focus on her hand, and I sigh, feeling defeated. Now he's the one looking away last. I know I'm being childish, but I don't care.

'I'm taking a shower,' Niall says, his eyes flicking between the three of us.

I nod and push myself away from the table, avoiding everyone's eyes. 'Me too.'

* * *

After the shower, I dry myself with one of the hotel's towels before securing it around my waist. I look around the bathroom for my clothes, before realizing I forgot to take them with me. Oops.

I leave the bathroom and I walk over to our closet. Niall's sitting on his bed with his phone in his hands.

'Niall, don't look for a sec,' I tell him, quickly picking some underwear from the closet. I choose my Calvin Klein briefs, they're my favorite pair.

'Okay,' he says, shrugging.

I try to pull my underwear up under my towel, struggling a bit.

Then, while my towel accidentally drops to the floor, the door opens. 'Do you guys have a spare tow-'

I quickly pull my underwear the rest of the way up over my bum, which was turned towards the door. I look over my shoulder with flaming cheeks.

Harry's standing there with one hand on the doorknob and the other one in the process of running through his hair. His eyes flick from my behind to my eyes, and my heart pounds like crazy.

I look away, coughing softly, and pretending like nothing happened. I want to stick my head in the ground, like an ostrich. I quickly put my other clothes on.

I hear him clearing his throat behind me. 'Towel. A spare towel?' he asks, his voice thick and rumbling.

'Yeah, sure,' Niall says.

He goes into the bathroom for a second, and the silence between the two of us is deafening. I glance at Harry. He's looking away, and I swear there's a hint of a blush tinting his cheeks. The sight makes my heart race.

Niall returns with a towel and hands it to Harry, completely oblivious to what happened a few seconds ago.

'Thanks,' he says, so quickly that I'm not even sure if he actually said it or not. He disappears through the door.

'In a hurry or something,' Niall mutters, raising an eyebrow. 'He's been acting kinda weird lately.'

I chew on my lip. 'You think so?'

He nods. 'Yeah. Haven't you noticed?'

I shrug and I wonder if Laura would mind if I told Niall.

'When we were having breakfast, for example. He was very sneery. Do you think they're in a fight?'

I decide that Laura probably wouldn't appreciate it if I told Niall about her private life. So I tell him: 'I don't think so. He might be homesick, or something like that.'

'Yeah, I guess.' He scratches his head in thought. 'He's especially acting very weird towards you, it seems.'

I snap my head around to look at him.

'Maybe he sees you as a threat,' he says, looking up at me and letting out a laugh.

'But I'm gay,' I say, dumbly.

'Exactly! That'd be kind of hilarious, right?' he says, laughing again.

'You're so stupid,' I tell him, shaking my head with a smile. 'So, are you texting Sam?'

He nods and starts typing again. 'I'm meeting up with her as well. On the beach, just like you and Zack.'

I roll my eyes. 'It's Zayn, you twat.'

* * *

The four of us arrive at the beach a few hours later, and we immediately spot a group of people standing at the shore. I wonder if it's Zayn and his group of friends. 

As we come closer, I can clearly recognize Zayn. He's in his swimming trunks, which gives me a chance to look at his body. I notice how his upper body is littered with tattoos. I love tattoos on boys. 

He looks up, and I wait for him to see me. Our eyes lock, and I wave at him. He waves back at me, and says something to his friends. They turn to look at us as well. It all feels like a huge deal, to be honest.

Just as I notice another familiar face among the group, I hear Niall say: 'I think-is that Sam?' So they're friends. What a coincedence, I think to myself.

I glance at Laura and Harry. Laura looks happy to meet some other people, and Harry's wearing a tight smile. I feel so awkward about what happened in our room earlier.

I focus on Zayn, and he's walking towards me. Okay. How do I greet someone I've kissed in a club when I see him the next day?

But I don't have to think about it any longer, because Zayn's already pulling me into his arms for a hug. Our stomachs press together and as much as I've always secretly dreamed about the feel of a guy's skin against mine, it doesn't give me butterflies. It's a nice hug, though.

He pulls back and smiles at me, tongue between his teeth. 'It's good to see you, Louis.'

I smile back at him, studying his dark features. 'Yeah.'

I step to the side. 'This is Laura, and Harry,' I motion towards them. Harry's eyes meet mine briefly, and my stomach flips.

They shake hands with Zayn, and I notice the way Harry's jaw clenches as he pulls his hand back. Without thinking, I let my gaze slide down Harry's body. He's got very nice pecks, and I can definitely see his abs. I imagine myself touching his skin, and pressing my lips against it, but I quickly push those thoughts away. Wouldn't wanna pop a boner right in front of him. I let my eyes follow his happy trail and even lower, and my stomach stirs, succesfully pulling me out of my trance.

'Uhm, and that's-' I stutter, looking around for Niall. He's in a heated embrace with Sam, her mouth latched onto his and her arms thrown around his neck. Jeez.

Laura coughs uncomfortably.

We meet the rest of Zayn's group, and there's a lot of nice people. There's a Liam, Ed and someone called Nick and a two girls called Perrie and Jade. And there's Sam, of course. She seems nice enough.

The rest of the afternoon exists of getting to know everyone, swimming and tanning. It's really nice, and I genuinely like Zayn's friends. Liam's quite reserved, but he seems like someone I could become friends with. Ed said he plays guitar and he said we could do a campfire sometime, which'd be very cool, I think. Nick is very funny, and the girls I didn't get to know properly yet. But they seem nice as well.

At one point, Zayn taps my shoulder.

'Take a walk with me?' he asks.

I nod and smile.

We walk along the shore for a while, just getting to know each other a little better. He tells me he's from Bradford and that he's studying to become an English teacher. And that he likes to sing. He asks me a few questions, and we sit down somewhere on the sand.

It feels like we're talking for hours, and I feel very comfortable around him. He's very easygoing and really nice to talk to.

Then there's a silence, and we look at eachother. I still wonder if I like him or not. He seems so nice.

He leans towards me, his eyes focused on my lips. He presses his lips against mine and pulls me in by my neck. My hand rests on his arm, and we kiss for a while. It's not bad, but it doesn't make me feel anything, really. It's actually a bit weird, since I've started to like him as a friend. So I pull back, at the same time that he does.

We look at eachother, and I panick a little, thinking that I gave him the wrong impression.

'Zayn, I didn't feel anything,' I rush the words out.

His eyes widen slightly, his lips curling into a smile. 'I was just about to say that!' he says.

I stare at him. Then we both start laughing.

'I thought you were gonna be so offended,' I say, and he laughs even louder.

'You do have a great ass though,' he says, nodding with raised eyebrows.

'Shut your mouth,' I warn him, and we laugh again.

* * *

We get back to the others, and we find out that we've been away for two hours. I'm really glad that I got to know Zayn, we might become very good friends. We decide to meet with the whole group tomorrow again, and then Laura, Niall, Harry and I go back to our hotel.

'The girls were so nice,' Laura says with a wide smile.

'Yeah?' I ask, smiling at her. She deserves some happiness. The holiday has been a bit stressful for her up 'til now.

It's pretty late when we get back to the hotel, and Niall immediately goes to bed. He loves his sleep.

I'm not tired at all, though. So I offer to watch a movie, and Laura agrees. Harry doesn't say anything, just shrugs. I frown.

We put on some comfortable clothes since we're still in our swimming clothes and I put on a random sweater that's laying around in the hall over a chair. It's probably Niall's. It's very big on me, and it smells like clean laundry and a nice cologne. I never really noticed Niall's smell. But he smells nice, I guess. Very, very nice.

I walk back into the living room, where Harry and Laura are already sitting on the couch. His arm is around her on the back of the couch. They look up and Laura giggles when she sees what I'm wearing.

'What's up?' I ask, frowning.

She shakes her head. 'You're wearing Harry's sweater,' she says.

My heart skips a beat and I look at Harry. His eyes run up and down my body, and there's this pained look in his eyes. I feel embarrassed. 'I'm sorry, I- I figured it was Niall's,' I stutter. I'm so stupid. So, so stupid.

His dark eyes lock with mine. 'It's fine,' is all he says.

I start taking it off, but he stops me by saying: 'You can keep it on.' He clears his throat. 'It's no big deal.'

I look at him with burning cheeks and I sit down beside them on the couch.

The movie's already starting. It's the Titanic. I glance over at Laura, raising an eyebrow.

'I'm sorry, okay? I love this movie!' she says with an apologetic look in her eyes.

I chuckle, shaking my head. I think we've watched this movie about five times together. Maybe more.

About half an hour into the movie, Laura announces that she's going to bed. She stands up from the couch and gives Harry an unsure look.

'I'm gonna watch a bit longer, I think,' he says, and my breathing accelerates. Oh.

She nods, and smiles at me. 'Good night,' she says.

'Good night,' I say, forcing a smile.

She walks off and that leaves Harry and me on the couch. Beside eachother. Watching the Titanic. I might die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger hehe xx


	10. Accusations And Discoveries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the new chapter. I'm sorry I've been so busy.  
> Hope you like it :) x

Harry and I sit in silence, the only sounds in the room coming from the large tv in front of us. I never thought watching the Titanic could be so.. stressful. Harry keeps running his hands through his hair beside me, and it's starting to freak me out.

I cough softly and try to get a bit more comfortable by shuffling further into the couch. In the corner of my eye, I can see Harry looking over at me a few times, as if he wants to say something. He doesn't.

Then there's the scene of that stupid dickhead practically abusing Rose. I make a comment about it, and Harry hums softly. It's quiet again.

We watch for another half an hour, and by then my eyes are droopy.

'So what's that Zayn guy like?' Harry suddenly asks, just when I'm about to get up from the couch to go to bed.

I look at him. 'What?'

'What's he like?' he asks again, looking a bit impatient. He restlessly taps two of his fingers against his jean clad leg.

'Uhm, he's nice. Why? You met him today, right?' I ask, confused.

'No. I never got to meet him, since you guys were gone for hours,' he says with a flat tone.

'We went for a walk,' I say, shrugging.

'How old is he anyway?'

'21. Why?'

'Where's he from?'

I frown at him. I feel like I'm being interrogated.

'Why are you asking me all these questions?'

The intensity of his eyes makes me want to look away, but at the same time, I'm unable to.

'Well, he must be pretty special,' he says. 'Since he got into your pants so easily.'

A wave of anger and surprise surges inside me. 'What the hell are you talking about?' I demand, raising my voice. My heart starts beating faster, my cheeks heating up simultaneously.

He rolls his eyes. I don't like the way he looks when he rolls his eyes. 'I'm not stupid. You two were gone for hours, doing what everyone knew you were doing..' He looks away and his tongue swipes over his bottom lip.

I stare at him, anger bubbling up inside of me. 'We didn't have sex, if that's what you're implying,' I snap.

'Sure,' he says halfheartedly, and I decide that I've had enough.

I stand up from the couch, so I can tower over him. He looks up at me with his strikingly green  eyes. 'What's your deal, Harry? You've been acting like such a prick towards me, and I'm sick of it,' I sneer, my hands balled into fists.

He gets up as well, and the difference in height is quite prominent and unfortunate in this situation. 'Yeah? You think I've been acting like a prick?' he whisper-shouts, making me realize that everyone's sleeping in this house. He glares angrily down at me. 'At least I'm not acting like some cheap slut,' he snarls, his nostrils flaring.

Although I saw it coming, it still hurts. Something flashes in his eyes, as if he now realizes what he called me. He opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, I press both my hands against his chest and push him, while trying to ignore how hard and solid his chest feels beneath my palms. His body stumbles back a bit and his eyes widen slightly. 'Fuck you,' I grunt under my breath, still looking him in the eye, and I push him once more, just for good measure. I've never felt the need to get physical with people, I'm not that type of person, but this is the result of built-up frustration. And him calling me a slut.

There's a silence then. Our breathing is heavy as we stand facing eachother, my hands trembling slightly by my sides.

He runs a hand through his hair, his jaw tense and his eyebrows set into a deep frown. 'I didn't mean-'

'Whatever, asshole,' I snap, cutting him off. I immediately turn around, striding towards the hall. I hear him exhale behind me. 'You think you're so good,' I mumble angrily. 'But you're just a little..'

Suddenly, his hand is around my arm and I'm being pulled back around. He's right there, his body so close to mine, and my breath catches in my throat. He walks me back into the wall. I look up at him, startled. I get a heavy whiff of his scent as he presses his hands to the wall on both sides of my head, successfully caging me in. His eyes bore into mine, but not in a creepy way. In a way that makes my toes curl. I swallow thickly.

His gaze lowers to my throat, and slowly slides back up, to my chin, lips, nose, and then my eyes. I've never felt this exposed. It's intense.

'What are you doing?' I whisper, afraid that if I talk too loud, this moment might be over. For some reason,  I don't want it to. I don't know where to put my hands, so I just press them against the wall behind me for support. I need a lot of that right now.

His face is so damn close. His eyes are so green, and I wish I knew what he's thinking. There's a faint blush on his cheeks again, just like when he ran into me changing. His eyes drift down to my lips again, and this time they linger. He chews his lips, as if he's thinking very hard about something. That's when I get nervous.

'Harry,' I breathe, unsure. What's happening? We were fighting a second ago, this.. This can't be real.

He closes his eyes, his eyebrows scrunched together. Then, he leans back from me and stands up straight. I almost want to lean back into him, but I hold back from doing it. I watch him for a moment. Finally, he speaks up.

'I'm sorry. For.. you know,' he rumbles, and he opens his eyes to look at me. Frustration is written all over his face. 'I'm.. Um. Going to bed, now.'

He walks off, heading towards his and Laura's bedroom. I watch the muscles of his back move beneath his white shirt, and I swallow. I open my mouth and I almost want to say something, whatever, but the words won't come out.

* * *

It's the next morning, and I can't stop thinking about what happened between me and Harry. Obviously. He almost kissed me.

Every time I realize that, I tell myself that he was just angry. That he actually wanted to punch me in the face when he stood there, his breathing on my lips. But then I remember that look in his eyes. It said everything. Eyes don't lie.

But why? Why does or did he want to kiss me? I can't keep my heart from beating faster whenever I think about it, but it does confuse me. He's supposed to want to kiss Laura.

Laura. Just thinking about her, my best friend, makes my stomach twist and turn. Nothing even happened. But I still feel guilty. I feel guilty for my damn feelings, and the attraction I feel towards Harry. I'm not supposed to feel this way about my best friend's boyfriend. It's all wrong.

'Louis, hurry up. You're so slow,' Niall complains from where he's standing in the doorway.

I cram one of the big beach towels into my bag.

'Didn't sleep well,' I answer with a shrug. It's part of the truth. I'm also not ready to face Harry.

'Oh. Okay,' Niall says. 'Well, I'm going outside. It's so clammy in here.'

He turns on his heel, and I sigh softly. After a while, I'm practically ready to go, but instead of going outside, I close my eyes to think. Harry keeps popping into my mind, and I groan in frustration.

Suddenly, the door opens, and without looking up, I stand up.

'Yeah, yeah. I'm done,' I say, grabbing my bag.

I look up. Harry closes the door behind him. My stomach flips. I look at his hair. It's pulled into a bun. A bun! I want to cry. Never thought a man bun would turn me on.

My heart's already beating fast by the time Harry turns around to face me again. He takes a few steps towards me, and I just stand there, rooted to the spot. He keeps a small space between us, and there's a hesitant look in his eyes.

We're both just in our swimming trunks, nothing else. There's so much bare skin in this room, it's getting hard to breathe.  

I can see his face even better now that his hair is pulled back like this. I can see the structure of his cheekbones and his jaw. His ears. They're small and cute. I mentally slap myself.

'Louis,' Harry says, and he reaches his hand up as if he wants to run it through his hair, but drops it again when he realizes that he's got his hair in a bun.

His smooth voice makes me feel all fuzzy inside, and very aware at the same time. We keep eye-contact, gazes never faltering. I feel my blood pounding in my ears, almost giving me a headache.

He lifts his hand to his head again, and I almost laugh. I watch one of his curls slip from his bun. His hair is very distracting, and it's almost like he's making me look at it by reaching up to touch it. It makes me want to touch it even more.

'Can I..' he starts, but stops himself. I stay silent.

Then he sighs, and looks me straight in the eyes. 'I want to kiss you, Louis. I need to know if you want to kiss me, too.'

My stomach flips and my face burns. Holy. Shit. Harry wants to kiss me. Harry wants to kiss me! And I want to kiss Harry.

I automatically nod once, and then I hesitate. Laura.

His eyes darken a bit, and he takes two more steps towards me. He's very close now. Too close. I'm crumbling.

'Can I kiss you, Louis?' he purrs, his voice low.

It sends chills straight down my spine, and I almost start panting in front of him.

I finally open my mouth. 'Laura,' I breathe, barely audible.

He lifts his hand again, and immediately lets it drop by his side. 'I need to kiss you, Louis. This is all I've been able to think about. Even if it's just once, I want to kiss you,' he says, his eyes full of desire now. My heart's practically stopped beating by now. It's just kind of sitting there, waiting for me to say or do something. _Kiss him!_

'Yes,' I say. It's simple, but it's definitely effective.

Harry closes the space between us, and lifts one of his hands. For a second, I think he's going to touch his hair again, but he actually places it on my neck. My neck is on fire. My whole body is on fire.

My hands are just kind of hanging by my sides as I subconsciously lean in towards him. His breath is on my lips, and I can almost imagine the feel of his lips against mine. His smell invades my mind, and I feel like I'm becoming liquid. My feelings are all over the place.

His lips touch mine. It's so soft, that I barely feel them at first. I press them together a bit more, and Harry reacts by lifting his other hand, placing it along my jaw. His thumb is on my earlobe, the tips of his fingers buried in my hair.

We start slowly moving our lips against each other. The feeling I get from it, is something I've never felt before. It's definitely not something I felt with Zayn. This is passion, this is real. At least, that's what it feels like to me.

I can't keep my hands to myself any longer. I'm aching to touch him. I put one hand on his back, and I feel his muscles moving beneath his skin as he leans in closer. I place my other hand on his hip, and I pull him even closer against me.

The feeling of our bare upper bodies pressing together sets off a feeling in my lower stomach. Harry groans softly, and opens his mouth. His small groan drives me crazy, and I run my hand up and down his back, groping him.

His tongue delves into my mouth, a bit hesitantly at first. I realize that this is his first time kissing a guy. It makes me want to give him the best kiss he's ever had. I start exploring his mouth as well, tasting him, and I moan a little when he runs his hand through my hair.

I notice how our breathing's getting heavier, and the kiss is growing more frantic by the second. His tongue caresses mine, over and over again.

Then, he presses his crotch against mine. We both gasp into each other's mouths. He pulls back after that, and rests his forehead against mine. Our breathing mingles between us. Both of his hands are still tangled in my hair, and my hands are on his lower back.

His eyes are closed. I stare at his lips. They're so pretty. So pink. Even pinker than they were before.

He opens his eyes and pulls his forehead from mine. His hands leave my hair, and he takes a step back. My hands fall back to my sides. He seems very flushed, and more curls have fallen out of his bun by now. The thought that this might be the first and last time we kiss and the fact that I never got to properly touch his hair makes me feel sad.

I look down at my feet, not really knowing where to go from here.

'That was nice,' he says, sounding a bit hoarse.

 _Nice_? I was kind of hoping for something like 'the best goddamn kiss I've ever experienced in my life!' but 'nice' is okay. 'Nice' is perfectly fine. I nod in agreement, giving him a small smile.

I suddenly realize something. My eyes widen. 'Laura and Niall could've just walked in,' I gasp.

He shakes his head, his green eyes peering down at mine. 'I told them they could go, and that we'd come later.  Told them I'd make you hurry up a bit.' He smirks at me. His lips look so nice when he smirks. I kissed those lips. The thought makes me blush again. I must look like a moron.

'Okay,' I say.

'Yeah.'

'Right.'

'So this was a one-time thing, right?' he asks. His eyes hold an emotion that I can't read.

Disappointment fills my chest and I nod, trying not to look too forlorn. I got one kiss. One forbidden kiss. 'Yeah, I guess.' I shrug in what hopefully looks like a nonchalant manner.

He nods once more, averting his eyes from me. He runs a hand over his hair, making me regret even more that I didn't touch it while we kissed.

'We should probably join the others now,' he says, walking further into the room. Away from me. I miss his touch. It already seems like our kiss happened ages ago.

I nod. 'Yeah, we probably should.'

* * *

Niall and Laura are already in the sea by the time we get to the beach. There's an odd silence between us. I don't know about him, but I keep thinking about our kiss. I know we can't let it happen again, and that this was supposed to be a one-time thing, but I would do anything to feel like that again. I felt alive.

'I'll tell her I had to go the toilet,' he says, looking down at the sand.

I just nod, and lift my head to look at my friends. As soon as my gaze lands on Laura, guilt fills my stomach and I almost feel sick. What an awful feeling. But I'd still kiss him again if he'd make the offer. I hate that I'm so weak.

Niall spots us and shouts: 'Hey! What took you so long?'

We come closer to them and Harry quickly tells his little story.

I look at Laura and she doesn't look like she's suspecting anything. I look at her and I wonder why Harry would want to kiss me, when he's got someone so nice. I quickly push the thought away.

'I'd kill for a snack,' Niall announces and we decide to get some food.

Harry walks closely behind me and Niall and Laura are walking in front of me, talking to each other.

Then I hear Harry's voice beside my ear, whispering: _'_ I want to kiss you again.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That just happened. The feels I had while writing this.. just.. yes. I'd love to read your thoughts in the comments.
> 
> There isn't going to be an update this weekend. Not even the weekend after that.. I feel so guilty, but I'm actually going on holiday! To... Kos! :D Not even kidding.  
> Hope I'm gonna get some new inspiration there!  
> xxx


	11. Bare Feet In The Sand

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woohoo! A new chapter. It feels like it's been forever since I've updated. I'm sorry if it's a bit short, I've been very busy studying recently..   
> Kos was absolutely gorgeous, I enjoyed it so much. :)   
> Hope you have fun reading this chapter! x

_I want to kiss you again._ The words ring in my ear, sending a glowy feeling down my spine. It's weird how a few simple words are able to affect me this way.

As we make our way over to the table where we'll have a snack, I'm very aware of Harry's presence behind me. I think about standing still and letting him walk into me. I wonder what it would feel like to have his chest pressed against my back.

I stare at Laura's bare neck. She's wearing her hair up in a ponytail. Small drops of water slide down the tanned skin of her back. I know she's felt his chest against her back. I instantly feel jealous, and then I feel guilty again. _I have a crush on your boyfriend. I KISSED your boyfriend. I definitely shouldn't have, and I'd definitely do it again. I'm a shitty person._ Nobody has ever told me they wanted, nééded to kiss me before.

We sit down at a table with a nice view of the mountains of Turkey. It's a beautiful sight. I can't believe I'm finally here.

I sit down next to Niall. Laura and Harry sit down across from us. The table is quite small, causing Harry's leg to brush mine.

Our eyes immediately make contact and he slowly slides into his seat without looking away. As soon as he's sat in his chair,  he pulls on his hair elastic. His hair falls down and reaches the tops of his shoulders. He's still not looking away, and I squirm under his gaze, distracted by the angelic hair framing his face. I've never liked men with long hair. He's definitely an exception. My hands itch with the urge to run them through his wavy curls.

Then, Laura rests her hand on his arm. She looks up at him with a hesitant smile on her lips. He tears his gaze away from mine and smiles back at her, distractedly.

We order drinks and food.

Laura and Niall start debating whether pork or chicken tastes better. At first, Harry and I were engaged in the conversation as well, but now I feel his eyes on me again. He keeps doing things to my heart.

I lock eyes with him, and I raise my eyebrows the slightest bit. His gaze drops to my lips, and it's unfair, really. It also makes it very hard for me not to look at _his_ lips. They're very pink and visibly bitten, and I'm obviously staring at them now.

I feel something nudge my foot. My eyes shoot up to meet his.

The ghost of a smirk is visible on his lips, and I swallow. I look over at Laura, as if she can see through tables.

Then, I feel Harry's bare feet (he's probably thrown his flip-flops off) slide between mine. My stomach clenches and I feel too flustered to look up at him this time.

His legs press against mine. My heart starts beating faster.

Suddenly, the press of his leg that was between mine is gone. The next moment, I feel his foot brush my inner thighs.

I gasp softly, looking down at my lap. I stare at his foot. He rests it on the edge of my seat, right in front of my crotch. It's oddly sexual. My cheeks burn, and the lower part of my stomach tenses. I swear I don't have any kind of weird foot fetish, but I just can't stop the wave of arousal rushing through my body.

Our food arrives. We all ordered gyros with fries and salad on the side.

While taking a bite of the gyros, I press my thighs together without looking up at Harry, trapping his foot. I don't even know why I'm doing it, but it seems like a sexy thing to do.

I sense that Harry's stopped chewing. I swallow the piece of gyros and hold my breath, waiting for his reaction.

Just as I lift my fork to my mouth to take another bite, his foot slides into my lap, over my crotch.

I jump in my seat, almost choking on the food. My face heats up and I lift my eyes to meet everyone's surprised looks.

Well, except for Harry. He's wearing this lopsided half-smirk (those dimples, for God's sake!), looking very proud of himself. He pulls his foot back and I exhale slowly, trying to ignore the tightness of my jeans that's becoming more and more prominent.

'Are you okay?' Laura asks with a teasing grin, her voice breezy light. Her wet bangs fall over her eyebrows and her big brown bambi eyes dance with humour.

I try to smile at her, but it probably looks more like a grimace. I quickly make up an excuse. 'There was something spicy in the food.'

She smiles, her nose scrunching up a bit. I notice the way the tops of her cheeks and her nose are dotted with light freckles. She gets them when it's summer. She always looks so adorable, and it makes me feel shitty again.

Then I look at Harry, and my heart stutters when his green, intruding gaze is already on me. _But he's so pretty!_ He's watching me intently, as if he's thinking very hard about something. I wonder if he feels guilty as well. Seems likely.

He turns his head to look at Laura, and I know he feels bad. His cheeky smile is completely gone now. He probably regrets that he made a move on me. That makes me feel sad again. _Fuck._

I keep my eyes fixed on my plate for the rest of our lunch. And the whole time, I'm debating the whole thing with Harry. Should I let him do it again? The answer is obvious. My head literally screams _NO!_ at me while throwing random objects against my head to get my attention. Because the problem is that I'm giving more attention to my heart. My heart that starts beating faster whenever I think about him. It´s beating a steady _yes, yes, pause, yes, yes, pause, yes, yes, pause._ It flows through my veins and consumes me. Should I let him do it again? It flows through my veins and consumes me. Should I let him do it again? _Yes, yes, yes!_

But then I force myself to think about Laura. Laura, my bestest friend, who I've known for such a long time, and who's helped me in one of the most difficult times in my life. The girl who's sitting right across from me, laughing about some joke Niall told her. Talking with her mouth stuffed full of food. The girl who can pull the funniest faces, and make me laugh when I'm feeling down. The girl who trusts me and talks to me about her relationship problems. The girl who's trust I'm betraying by kissing Harry.

I imagine to myself what would've happened if Laura had walked in on Harry and me this morning. We'd be in our heated embrace, completely oblivious to the door opening. Laura's sweet eyes would widen and she'd clasp her hand in front of her mouth. The sound of her gasp would make Harry and me jump away from each other, and then we'd stare at her, mouths and eyes wide like hers. The thought makes my stomach churn. She'd be devastated. It'd be a huge mess.

It's painfully obvious; it can't happen again. My head sighs, relieved, dropping the rock it was about to throw at me. But I know that my heart isn't gonna make this easy on me.

After I've made the decision for myself, I tell myself that it's okay now. I'm okay. _I can handle this._

Harry's leg accidentally bumps against mine again under the table, startling me. I hear his soft, frustrated grunt as he shifts and it immediately happens again. I squeeze my eyes tightly closed, dropping my head between my shoulders. _I can't handle this._

* * *

It's a few hours later, and we're still on the beach. We joined Zayn's group again. The same people as before are there; Liam, Ed, Nick, Perrie, Jade, Sam and Zayn himself, of course.

I sit with Liam in the sand. We've been talking for a while now, and I've been able to get to know him a little better. He's a very nice guy. He's telling me a story about how he once had a turtle that died. He's also getting a bit sentimental. His brown puppy-like eyes shimmer as he talks about how he accidentally dropped the turtle.

'He broke his leg,' he says, his eyes sad. 'All because of me.'

I put my hand on his back. 'It's okay, Liam. We all make mistakes. I'm sure he's forgiven you and watching you right now, from up there.'

'You think so?' he wonders, looking up at the sky, as if the turtle's actually on a cloud, casually drifting by.

'Of course,' I assure him with an arched eyebrow. I've never seen someone talk so passionate about their pet. 'So. Are you close friends with Zayn?' I ask him out of curiousity.

He nods, a small smile tugging at his lips. 'We've been friends since primary school. He's my best friend, we're very close,' he says, trailing off. I can't help but notice the way his smile fades a bit, as if he's thinking about something that makes him sad.

'But..?' I prompt.

His eyes quickly lock with mine. He seems a bit nervous all of a sudden. 'What?' His voice is a little higher than before.

I study him for a bit before concluding that he might have a crush on a certain someone. 'Oh, I just thought you weren't finished yet,' I tell him, shrugging nonchalantly.

His cheeks redden the slightest bit, and he swiftly shakes his head. 'No, no,' he mutters, looking away.

I catch him sneaking a glance at Zayn then, and that's when I'm sure of my facts. _Hehe._

I look over at Sam and Niall. She's different than I thought she'd be. She seemed so shy in the club when Niall approached her. Now she's all over him, sitting in his lap with her arms around his neck, nuzzling against his chest. I don't know if I like her that much, and the look in Niall's eyes tells me he's having doubts of his own.

'So do _you_ fancy someone?' Liam asks, visibly tearing his gaze away from Zayn.

The words hang between us in the air and I raise my eyebrows at him with a smirk.

He gasps, eyes widening. 'Oh god, I didn't mean it like that, it's not like I fancy him, I don't-'

I put my hand on his shoulder in an attempt to reassure him as I look into his eyes with a smile.

'It's okay, I won't tell anyone,' I assure him.

He closes his mouth and nods slowly. His posture relaxes and he wraps his arms around his knees, hugging them tight. 'I've had a crush on him for a long time, you know. Always thought he was into girls, but now.. You guys kinda hit it off at the club, didn't you?'

He lifts his sad gaze to look at me and I instantly feel guilty. Shit, I feel guilty about everything these days!

I shake my head. 'Nah. Well, initially, we did, but it's not really.. turning into something, or something.. Eh. Yeah.'

He almost unnoticeably leans in a little closer, his eyes big and brown. 'So you're not like.. gonna be together?' he asks hesitantly.

I smile at him. 'No. He's all yours, Liam.'

He blushes and averts his gaze. 'As if that's gonna happen.'

I frown. 'Why wouldn't it?'

He shrugs, his lower lip sticking out slighly. Then he looks over at Zayn again. 'Have you seen him? He's gorgeous. And I'm just, you know. Liam.'

I push him lightly against the shoulder, getting his attention. 'Liam! Don't say shit like that.'

'Sorry. But it's just that, we've been friends for such a long time and I think he sees me as his little brother. He could never like me in a romantic way, he'd find it weird.'

'That's bullshit. Friends can fall in love with each other, and you know that. Maybe he's fancied you for like, forever, but he's just never been brave enough to tell you, just like you.'

'I don't know, Louis.. He kissed you!'

I roll my eyes. 'Yeah, I kissed him. But it meant absolutely nothing, and it was boring for both of us. No sparks what so ever.'

'Is he a good kisser?'

I nod enthusiastically. 'Fuck yeah! You should try him out sometime.'

He shoves me in a playful way, eyes crinkling up. I grin back at him. I'm really starting to like him.

Then, there's a few loud squeals behind us and we turn around to look.

For some reason, all the boys have started tickling the girls. Harry's tickling Laura, and she cries out with laughter, kicking her legs out. Laura's very ticklish, I know this. It still irritates me more than it should.

My stomach forms a tight knot as I watch the two of them. Harry's laughing, his dimple apparent (as always), his big hands roaming her sides and tickling her to near-death. A few strands of his hair are slipping out of his bun again, and my fingers are aching to tuck them back in. Maybe run my hands over his hair a few times for good measure.

'They make such a nice couple,' Liam hums beside me.

'Who?'

'Harry and Laura. I wish it could be like that with me and Zayn.'

I don't respond to that. Instead, I look down at my hands. _I wish it could be like that with me and Harry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There'll be an update next weekend, so keep an eye out for that! xx


	12. I See Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surpriseee! :D I was in a mood to write and I just couldn't help myself.  
> I actually need to study for a test but I don't even give a shit. :)  
> So here is a new chapter, and I hope you'll like it.  
> Oh and just pretend the song 'I See Fire' is by someone different than Ed Sheeran for this chapter, okay? ;) I love the song so much, I had to put it in.  
> xxx

The afternoon is slowly turning into the evening, and we're still on the beach. I've never spent so many hours in a row on the beach before. The sound of the waves crashing over the rocks and stones is a sound I definitely could get used to. It's getting a bit chillier and it's around dinner time now. I kind of regret not having brought something warmer with me this morning.

The sun is already starting to go down, slowly disappearing behind the mountains in the distance. I stare at the beautiful lights in Turkey, and I wonder how I've ended up here, in this wonderful place with these wonderful people surrounding me. Everyone's so nice, and there's a nice atmosphere in our small group. Everyone's talking softly to each other, while looking at the beautiful view. It really is astounding and I can't believe we're this far away from our homes. This far away from reality and the responsibilities that come with it.

My thoughts are becoming slightly melancholic and I shake myself out of it. _Since when have I become so sensitive?_

We're sitting in a circle. Laura's to my left and Liam's to my right. I've become pretty close with Liam today. He told me about his two sisters, his close friendship with Zayn and his ambition to become a fireman. He also shared some facts about the others in the group; Ed and Jade are together, Perrie and Zayn have had a relationship in the past, Nick is gay. Sam has always been a bit clingy with boyfriends, which causes them to walk away most of the time, and it _is_ kind of obnoxious, but Liam assured him that she's a nice person once you get to know her. I'm not quick to judge someone anyways. Okay, sometimes I am, but isn't everyone?

I look over at Ed. I haven't talked to him that much yet. He's been carrying his guitar around the whole day, so he's obviously a very musical person. I can't help but wonder if he's just gonna keep carrying it around or if he's planning on actually playing it.

Harry's sitting next to him, talking to him animatedly. He uses his hands a lot when he talks, I notice. He makes all these vague gestures with his hands, spreading his long fingers. He and Ed seem to be getting along really well. Ed probably knows more about him than I do, I think to myself. He'd never sit down next to me like that, all casual. And in that moment, I realize that it might always be uneasy and weird between us, because of the tension that's there. Sure, it's an exciting feeling, but I can't help but wish there was still a chance of us becoming friends as well. I mean, of course I want to be more than friends with him, but that's simply impossible. It'd never work out. He's in a relationship with my best friend, and even if they broke up, there'd be no chance of us getting together. It'd be wrong.

Liam interrupts my string of thoughts by elbowing me softly, and I look up at him from where I was staring at the sand. I follow his line of sight.

'So I brought my guitar to play some songs,' Ed says. He sits cross-legged with the guitar on his lap.

'No shit,' Nick pipes up and everyone chuckles.

Ed flips him off with a grin. 'Fuck off. The first song I'm gonna play is called "I see fire" by that new singer,' he says.

I smile. I love that song.

Then, Ed looks over at Harry. 'I was actually hoping for Curly over here to join me.'

Harry looks up at him, startled.

His reaction causes Niall and a few others to chuckle, but I'm focused on his green, wide eyes.

'You mean, join you at singing the song?'

Ed nods, a smile on his lips. 'Of course. You told me you liked singing, right?'

I feel kind of jealous at the fact that Harry talked to Ed about what he likes to do. I'm so stupid.

Harry visibly becomes a little shy, his cheeks reddening slightly. He tries to hide it by putting his hands in front of his face, but it didn't go unnoticed by me. The sight of Harry blushing and being timid warms my heart. I'm such a sap. The thought of him singing when he's home alone or in the shower makes my stomach flutter. His voice does things to me when he talks, let alone when he _sings_.

'Come on, Harry,' Ed encourages him.

Laura puts her hand on his shoulder, pulling him close. 'You can do it!' she says, smiling.

He drops his hands from his face. His eyes are closed and there's an embarrassed smile on his face. I almost want to reach out and poke the dimple in his cheek.

'Okay,' he huffs, and shuffles a bit closer towards Ed.

Ed grins at him.

I feel like everything's going to quick. Harry's gonna be singing in a few seconds but I think I need some time to mentally prepare myself for that.

'You start,' Ed tells him.

Harry curses softly and I let out a soft chuckle. His eyes briefly meet mine. The corner of his mouth twists up slightly when he looks down again, and I rub my hands on my legs.

He clears his throat and opens his mouth, his eyes trained on the sand. Then he begins singing.

As soon as his voice reaches my ears, it sends tingles all over my body. It's like honey's running through my body, liquefying me. I watch him sing with intent, desperate to catch everything that's coming from his mouth. Everyone's hanging on his every word. His voice is low, soft and it has that raspy edge to it that makes my insides quiver.

Ed starts playing after a few lines, and it's all kinda perfect, really. I unconsciously start bobbing my head along the tiniest bit.

Harry looks at Ed, who gives him a small nod. They start singing together. I'm surprised by Ed's voice. He's got a very, very lovely voice. He sings an octave higher than Harry, harmonizing. His voice is a bit more confident than Harry's, and he sounds like he's done this many times before. Which he probably has.

I realize I'm smiling like a fool, but I can't be bothered to wipe it off, really. Everyone's smiling and nodding along, feeling the music.

They sing the chorus for one last time, and this time, it's the most powerful. Harry's fully confident now, he's sitting up, and making eye-contact with us. Most of us start singing along quietly.

When Harry's eyes lock with mine and he sees that I'm not singing along yet, he raises his eyebrows, putting more force behind the words. I grin and look down. When I look up, I start mouthing along the words. His dimple appears. It's getting even darker, though, which is making it hard to see his expression.

The song ends, and we burst into a loud applause. Ed pats Harry on his shoulder and the flash of Harry's white teeth almost hurts my eyes. The boys whistle at them, and I keep clapping until my hands hurt.

'That was good. Holy shit,' Zayn says with raised eyebrows.

'Yeah, the little twink is better than you, Eddie!' Nick jokes loudly.

Harry's eyes widen humorously, and he lets out a weak laugh. Ed just smiles, so  they're probably used to Nick making that kind of jokes. Laura just sits there, smiling. She probably doesn't even know what a twink is, she's _that_ innocent.

Nick clasps a hand around Ed's shoulders and ruffles his hair. 'Just kidding. You're my fave,' he coos, pressing a kiss to his cheek with a loud _smack_.

I then take notice of the goosebumps covering my body, and I hop up from where I was seated. I pat the sand from my  legs and straighten back up again.

'I'm going back for a sweater, it's getting colder,' I announce, turning around.

'I'm coming with you,' Harry says and I almost trip over my feet. Why am I unable to control my limbs these days? _Fuck._

I don't turn around, instead I keep walking. He quickly catches up with me and I get a whiff of his scent, that's still there even after a long day on the beach. I'm still trying to figure out what he smells like. Maybe cinnamon, or something like that.

When we're on a safe distance from the others, who aren't paying attention to us anyway, I raise my head to look at Harry while we walk, expecting him to say something.

He catches my eye. 'We need to talk about what happened.'

I look away, feeling a bit annoyed already. I know he's right, but I don't want to talk about it. Now he's gonna say that what we did is wrong, and that he regrets it. Of course, he'd be right, and I agree, but I don't wanna hear it from his mouth. That stupid mouth.

'I'm not gonna lie, Louis. I really enjoyed what we did this morning,' he admits bluntly.

I blush, keeping my head down. That's not really what I expected him to say.

'Did you?' he asks, his eyes trained on the side of my face.

I want to smile and nod, but then I force myself to think rationally. This can't happen. Bringing back memories from how good it felt isn't gonna do anything.

I look up at him. 'What does it matter?'

He frowns at me, his lips pursed. 'Well-'

I cut him off. 'This isn't something we can keep doing, Harry. And you should know that. It's irrational, it's stupid.'

'Don't talk to me like I don't know that. I'm not dumb,' he says, sounding offended.

The words tumble out of my mouth before I can stop them. 'I heard you guys having sex two days ago, for fuck's sake!' I whisper-yell. 'It's all wrong, Harry. What we did doesn't even make sense.'

He's staring at me from the corner of his eyes. 'We didn't have sex.'

I frown at him. 'I heard your moans and stuff,' I admit, slightly embarrassed. 'But it's okay, because she's your girlfriend. It's what you're supposed to do as a couple.'

'I've never fucked her, if that's what you're implying. She wants to take it slow, and that's what we've been doing since the start.'

That information is something I should've known. Laura is someone who takes relationships very seriously, and she doesn't want to rush into things.

'Well, you were doing something in that room and the fact that you kiss me like two days later does not make sense to me. I knew I shouldn't have let you do it,' I trail off.

He sighs. 'If you want the truth, Louis; I was thinking about you while we did it. You might not believe me, but ever since I met you at the airport, I keep thinking about you.'

I don't know why, but his words anger me. 'That's stupid!'

'Why is that stupid? I can't help my feelings. And I know you feel the same about me, otherwise you wouldn't have let me kiss you.'

I halt and swivel around to face him with a glare. 'Why did you have to kiss me? Now everything's just a fucked-up mess! You have a girlfriend, you can't just do stuff like that!'

Then, he gets angry as well. 'Don't act like you're the innocent one here! You kissed me back. She's your best friend, you could've said _no_ and I would've backed off!'

'You shouldn't make a move on me in the first place!'

'You're such a hypocrite. You were full on flirting with me, when we were in the pool and when we were out bowling, and you know it. You're just too proud to admit it!' he hisses.

'I was drunk!' I shoot back.

'Not when we were in the pool!' he says, raising his voice, his nostrils flaring.

I don't know what to say at that. A silence falls between us, and I can feel the angry tears gathering behind my eyes. _Don't you dare fucking cry_ , I tell myself. I stare at his chest, not being able to meet his eyes. It rises and falls quicker than usual.

'Look. I know I did something that was very wrong, but you did, too. And I just can't help myself around you, okay?' Harry says, his voice softer now.

His words don't reassure me, though. They only make me feel me more guilty for generally being me. For provoking things to happen that shouldn't. For betraying my best friend. For being weak.

So I don't say anything. Instead, I walk away.

I hear him walking behind me and I fasten my pace.

'Louis, wait,' he says with a stressed tone.

I start running, childish as I am. I don't want to face him anymore. Facing him means facing my flaws. I'm a coward, but I don't care anymore. Laura keeps popping up in my mind, but I push her away this time. _No, no, no._

'Don't do this!' Harry's voice is faint, somewhere behind me.  

Our hotel room is close to the beach, it's already in sight. I rush to the door, and rummage my pockets for the keycard, trying to get in as quick as possible. I hear his footsteps, they're much closer now. My breathing is erratic as I push the card into the slit and I put my hand on the handle.

His large hand suddenly covers mine on the door handle and I feel his breath on the back of my neck. I'm shaking slightly with adrenaline.

I stare at his long fingers on mine and my eyes almost water at the sight. It seems so perfect.

His hand slips away. 'Sorry,' he says, almost inaudibly. I don't know what he's saying sorry for. For putting his hand on mine or for this whole thing that's happening between us.

I don't know what makes me turn around to face him, but I do, and it's a mistake. Because as soon as I see the vulnerable look on his face, his eyes searching mine, I bring my hands up to the sides of his face and press his lips to mine.

His breath hitches and his hand slams against the door behind me as he pushes me up against it.

I break from the kiss when I feel the handle poking into my back, and I let out a soft sound of protest.

'Fucking-' I curse, swiftly turning around to open the damn door and pull Harry through it, immediately reaching up to catch his mouth in a frantic kiss.

He immediately responds, his lips opening and closing against mine. His hands run over my sides, my back, and my hips. They're everywhere.

I run my hands over his hair and pull the elastic band out to run my hands through it properly for the first time. The silky soft feeling of his locks between my fingers makes me whimper into his mouth, and he bites down on my lower lip. We walk backwards into the room, and I lead us to the couch.

There's no time for other thoughts than _Harry, Harry, Harry_ as he pushes me down onto my back and leans over me. I spread my legs for him to get between them and he immediately takes the opportunity by pressing his body fully against mine. The feeling of his weight on mine is something I'll never forget. Our mouths open and our tongues meet somewhere in the middle. Our heavy breaths hit each other's faces.

I give his hair a gentle tug and he grunts into my mouth, pushing his crotch down against mine.

'Harry,' I gasp, and he shuts me up by slipping his tongue into my mouth once again.

I run one of my hands down his back and over his ass, applying some pressure to press him even more against me, desperate to feel every inch of his body against mine.

He groans and breaks away from the kiss, burying his head in my shoulder. His curls tickle my cheek and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, holding him close. Our erratic breathing seems too loud in the room, and our movements come to a slow stop. It's as if my mind is fogged with Harry. His scent has consumed me completely, and my body feels like it's on fire.

A few seconds tick by, and it's just us, lying there on the couch, feeling each other in a way we've never felt each other before. It's like we're connected. The heat is still there, but it's like we both feel we've reached a boundary that shouldn't be crossed right now.

It's a perfect moment in a very twisted situation.


	13. Friendly Conversations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> I hope you had a lovely week. It sure is a hectic time for the fandom these days!  
> Here's a new chapter, and I have to say, I really enjoyed writing this one. It's a lot of dialogue, but I figured that's what exactly what they need.  
> I hope you agree. :) Enjoy!  
> xxx

Harry's soft cheek is on my shoulder, one of his hands is on my torso and one rests on my hip. I look down at his curly hair. I notice the way they fall loosely over his back, probably having lost their tightness years ago. He's warm, he smells amazing and I wish I could lie with him like this forever.

Our breathing is still slowing down from our intense actions a minute ago, our chests rising and falling together.

'Louis?' he asks, his voice vibrating through my body.

'Yes,' I respond.

'Why does kissing you feel so right?' he huffs, sounding frustrated.

I can't suppress a small smile, his words making me feel giddy. But they immediately make me feel horrible after that. It's not like he's trying to be romantic. It really _is_ a problem. A problem we need to fix before it runs even more out of hand. If that's even possible after all this.

My smile fades and I don't know how to respond.

'I want to stop,' he says, slowly getting up from where he was draped on my body. His eyes meet mine, the green intense as ever. 'But I don't think I can,' he adds, his pink lips slowly moving with the words. They seem slightly puffy and his cheeks are red. He looks incredible.

'We have to try, Harry,' I tell him, trying not to look down at his lips too much seeing as that might lead to things we need to avoid. 'You need to focus on Laura, she's your girlfriend. You like _her_.'

He sighs and leans back in the couch, pulling his knees up to his chest. 'I don't know anymore, to be honest.'

My heart skips a beat, and I want to curse at it. 'What do you mean?'

He runs a hand through his hair, his rings glistening. 'My feelings.. I don't think they're the same, you know. The same as they were before.'

He gives me an intent look and I'm almost sweating, my cheeks and neck on fire.

'I'm starting to-'

I cut him off. 'Don't say it,' I blurt out. He eyes me with a confused expression. When I realize it might have sounded a bit harsh, I add: 'You shouldn't.'

There's a silence then. I think about how complicated this is becoming, and how it'll become even more so if we continue doing this. I've never believed in such a thing as passion being so strong that it takes over you, controls you. It's so irresponsible, _so stupid._ I'm potentially ruining my friendship with someone who I care so much about, just because of this silly crush I have and can't seem to control. I remember how Harry's lips felt against mine and just the thought makes my stomach do flips.

I look up at him, and he's already looking at me, his eyes thoughtful. I can see in his eyes that he's also thinking very hard about this.

I swallow the lump in my throat. 'There's no way we could make this work.'

He looks almost pained by my words, his lips twisting as he drops his gaze. He doesn't say anything. Probably doesn't know what to say anymore. It's as clear as day, what needs to happen. And it needs to be said, so I'm gonna say it.

'We can't kiss again. This was the last time,' I choke out the words, embarrassed by how much my own words affect me.

His eyes meet mine. There's so many emotion in them that I have to look away.

'I'd like for us to be friends, though,' I tell him.

He nods. 'Yeah, me too.'

I study him for a second. I realize this might be my chance to get to know him better, now that it's just the two of us. 'Tell me something about yourself,' I prompt, giving him a small smile.

He looks a bit wary at first, but then he smiles, the indent in his cheek showing. His green eyes sparkle. 'Okay. What do you want to know?'

I sit up and cross my legs. 'What do you study?'

'I study laws. I've just finished my first year.'

'You want to become a lawyer?' I ask him, interested.

'Yes.' He adjusts his sitting position and the movement causes his necklaces to dangle back and forth across his bare chest. I've tried to keep my eyes off his chest the whole time, but now my attention is on his tattoos that are inked into his tanned skin. I make a mental note to ask about them later.

'My dad's a lawyer. He took me to a few trials when I was younger and I gained interest in his job. Thought it seemed pretty cool to get to defend people,' he says. There's a glint in his eyes and for a brief moment, I realize he caught me checking out his chest. I quickly push the thought away, not wanting to blush in front of him too much.

'But sometimes you'd have to defend the 'bad guys', right?'

He nods and shrugs. 'I'm okay with that, I guess. It'd be my job. My own opinion on the defendant wouldn't matter.'

'How professional of you,' I say, raising my eyebrows. 'I'm impressed.'

He smirks and starts playing with one of his rings, twisting it around. 'You're very sassy.'

'You're very fidgety,' I tease him, motioning towards his hands with my head.

He looks down at his fingers and stops twisting, instead clasps his hands over his kneecaps. He looks up and gives me a frown, but I can see his grin underneath. 'You're very tiny,' he shoots back, his voice raspy.

I give him a mock-offended look, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth.

'You're very large,' I retort.

'That I am,' he says and wiggles his eyebrows in a silly way. I let out a choked laugh when I realize how that sounded. His eyes dance with humor, and he's grinning so widely that I'm afraid his face might split in half. I kick his shin with my foot, and he kicks me back. We laugh, shoulders shaking.

After our laughter dies down, he asks: 'You've just finished school, right?'

I nod at him and my cheeks hurt a bit from smiling so much. 'Yep.'

'What are you gonna study?' he asks, folding his hands in his lap.

'Drama. I'd love to become an actor,' I tell him, looking up at him from under my fringe.

'Drama,' he repeats, his voice caressing the words in a way that should be illegal and making something stir deep inside me. 'You're the type for that.'

I cock my head. 'Why?'

'I don't mean it in a bad way. You're just.. a spontaneous person. Easy to talk to,' he says, his eyes flicking between mine. Hearing those words makes my insides warm. 'And you're very expressive.'

'Expressive?'

He gives a short nod and he tucks his hair behind his ear. 'I can read you like a book. You're very open.' There's a cheeky glint in his eyes.

That information is new to me, and surprises me. Am I that easy to read? The thought stresses me out. 'That's not true,' I protest.

'It is. Remember that time in the pool when I told you I admired you?' he asks.

I nod slowly.

'You wanted to kiss me. I saw it in your eyes,' he says, his voice low and smooth.

The fact that he knows that embarrasses me and I look down at my lap. 'How would you know? That's just stupid. And it makes you sound really conceited,' I say, looking up at him, daring him with my eyes.

His eyes run up and down my face, making me feel all tingly inside. 'You're embarrassed.' One corner of his mouth curls up into a half-smile that's so sexy, it makes my mouth water.

'You're arrogant.'

'You're cute when you're embarrassed,' he says, ignoring my comment. He pokes my leg with his foot, smiling at me like a damn fool.

I roll my eyes, my heartbeat slightly erratic. As it always seems to be when I'm around him. 'Stop. You make me feel like I'm twelve years old, or something.'

He lets out a laugh. It's a very nice, welcome sound. I immediately feel like making him laugh again, just to hear that sound. 'Adorable.'

'Now you're just trying to piss me off.'

He laughs again, and I can't help but smile at that. I love the way his eyes scrunch up when he laughs. And his mouth is impossibly big, especially when he laughs. But big mouths is not a path I'm going down now. Going down. _Fuck._

'Can I ask you a naughty question?' he asks out of the blue.

I narrow my eyes at him. 'It depends. Is it very crude?'

He purses his lips, as if thinking very hard about it. 'It's all right,' he says finally. 'I think I already know the answer anyway.'

I raise my eyebrows at that. 'Is that so?' I challenge him. 'Tell me the answer you think I will give to your question.'

His lips twist into a smirk. 'A bottom.'

I gasp, leaning forward to push him. 'Harry! That _is_ crude,' I say, my cheeks heating up uncontrollably. 'And also none of your business.'

He raises his hands in a defensive manner, chuckling. 'Just curious.'

I can't hold back a smile at his bluntness. 'Why do you suspect that answer anyway?' I ask, truly intrigued.

He runs a hand through his hair. 'It's pretty obvious. I mean, your bum is just.. perfect for a bottom,' he says, and I notice how a light redness creeps up his neck.

His comment makes me feel stupidly flattered. 'Have you been looking at my bum?'

He coughs. His uneasiness is actually very endearing. 'I pretty much saw your naked bum when I came into your room the other day.' There's a light blush tinting his cheeks, as if he's remembering it at that same moment.

The memory makes me blush as well. 'Oh. Yeah.. That was, uhm.'

His eyes study mine and he quickly reaches out to touch my knee with his hand. 'Hey. Don't be ashamed. I didn't mind. At all, actually,' he admits. Then, he pulls his hand back, as if reminding himself that we're supposed to be friendly.  

I immediately miss the feeling of his touch, even though it was so short. His words make me feel heated, and I force a smile, trying not to make it show.

Then, I get up from the couch. 'I'm gonna look for a sweater and then we better head back.'

'You can wear mine,' he says, also standing up from the couch and patting down his swimming trunks to make them look less crumpled.

The way he inhales softly and looks up at me to gauge my reaction tells me he didn't mean to say that. I open my mouth, not really knowing what the right answer is. Is wearing his sweater more than friendly? To me, it probably is, but I think friends can share clothes.

'I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable,' he says.

I shake my head. 'It's okay. I'd like to borrow yours,' I say, not wanting him to feel bad or embarrassed. 'Yours was very comfy last time.'

My answer seems to surprise him and he looks relieved.

'Oh, okay. Wait just a sec,' he says, and starts toward his bedroom.

I refrain from staring at the back of his broad shoulders as I rub my hand over my forehead. _This is never gonna work._ I thought getting to know him better might make the tension between us go away, but it's as if it's stronger than ever. And getting stronger with every second.

He returns with a black and a grey sweater in his arms, one for me and one for himself. He hands me the grey one and puts on the black one. I put my arms through the holes and hold back from taking a huge whiff of the smell. I pull it down my torso and the smell fills my nostrils anyway. It smells exactly like Harry, now that I've gained more knowledge of what he smells like. He smells like some delicious  aftershave, and also very clean, like laundry, and slightly musky. It's a perfect combination.

I feel his eyes on me and I try to ignore them by not looking at them, feeling self-conscious.

'You look really good,' he says and when I look up, he visibly winces. 'Sorry. It's just.. Yeah.'

I can't hold back a soft chuckle, and he gives me a cheeky grin. I love his honesty, even though it could get us into trouble.

'Let's go,' I say. I start reaching out to take him with me by his hand, but quickly turn around and make my way over to the door instead. _God, help me._ I swear I can almost _hear_ Harry's shit-eating grin as he follows me to the door.

I put the keycard in the pocket of my swimming trunks and I hear him chuckling softly when he notices the way I open the door in a slightly more aggressive way than usual.

I feel a bit embarrassed as I walk past him to go through the door first and squeak when he gives me a quick slap on the bum.

He lets out a loud laugh, the one I like so much. I whirl around to face him, my eyes wide and cheeks hot. 'Don't do that!'

'Alright, Your Majesty.'

He bows down in a mocking way and I push his arm, rolling my eyes but smiling like a fool.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, I always love to read your comments! :) xx


	14. Sore Losers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> I'm so, so sorry for the long wait. I keep saying this, but I've been so busy with school recently. There's so much I still need to catch up on and I have to write huge assignments.. It's very tiring and I really have trouble making time for this fic. Plus, our wifi router was broken last weekend so that didn't help at all either.  
> But I'll stop making excuses: this story definitely needs more of my attention.  
> That's why I decided to make a longer chapter this time. I hope you enjoy it!  
> xxx

'There they are,' Nick slurs, shouldering Laura and pointing at us with his empty bottle of whiskey.

Harry and I sit down on opposite sides of the circle. We lock eyes and he gives me an unreadable look while lowering himself besides Laura in the sand. The fact that his hair is still down from when I pulled out the elastic band makes my stomach stir and memories of the soft feel of his brown locks invade my mind. I wish I could do that again. And again, and again.

'What took you so long?' Laura asks Harry, a soft smile around her lips. She doesn't sound suspicious in any way, she's never like that. She always assumes the best in people, and that makes me feel even worse about kissing her boyfriend. She hasn't been wearing any makeup today, and I now notice how naturally beautiful she is. Her brown hair is pulled up into a high ponytail, a few strands framing her rounded face.

'Oh, some people started talking to us, asking directions and stuff,' Harry says, shrugging nonchalantly, smiling at her. I notice the way he shuffles a bit closer to her and rests his hand on her thigh. He immediately seeks eye-contact with me and he seems to be trying to make me understand something. I know what he's meaning to tell me; he's still her boyfriend, and that's what boyfriends do.

An unwanted thought I've been having several times these past few days pops into my mind: why can't he break up with her? But I know why he can't do that. It would hurt her so much, and he can't do that to her while still on holiday. And I shouldn't want that for her either; I'm supposed to be her goddamn friend, not someone who can't control themselves around her boyfriend and wants to steal him from her! The thought of us together thrills me, but hurts me at the same time, because it's just not gonna happen. I'll find someone else, who's not in a relationship with my best friend.

Laura looks over at me and her eyes linger on my outfit. I chew on my lower lip, wondering what's going on in her mind right now and if she thinks it's weird for me to wear his sweater. She lifts her eyes to meet mine and shoots me a quick smile. I feel relieved.

I stare into the campfire, that's now in the centre of the circle, rubbing my hands together to warm them up. It's like I haven't been able to feel warm since Harry and I stopped kissing. It's an unsettling thought.

'Okay, I'm bored. We should play a game,' Nick announces with a grin, clapping his hands together.

Ed groans. 'Dude, no. We always end up in some weird kind of orgy when we play your games.'

My eyes widen slightly.

'Oh, don't be a pussy!' Nick exclaims, pushing Ed.

'I agree with Ed. Your games make me uncomfortable,' Zayn says, a small smirk on his lips.

'Ugh, okay. I'll think of something a bit more.. timid. But only this time!' Nick says, shooting his friends a warning glare. 'We could play..' He places a hand on his chin in thought. 'Gay chicken!'

Our group erupts into loud protests. I've heard of that game before. If it is what I think it is, I'm not gonna participate.

'Mate! That's exactly what I was talking about!' Ed cries.

Nick shrugs. 'It's not that bad. You can stop whenever you want. The only thing is that you'll lose.'

I sneak a glance at Harry, wondering what he thinks about this. There's an unreadable expression on his face, giving nothing away of his thoughts.

'I'm in!' Niall slurs. He's obviously had one too many beers. The way Sam frowns a little at that makes me want to laugh.

A huge grin appears on Nick's face and he gets up from his spot to walk over to Niall and throw his arm around his shoulder. 'This is what you call a man!'

Zayn rolls his eyes.

Laura looks a bit unsure. 'Can someone explain the game to me? How bad is it?'

'It's a super fun game!' Nick pipes up, his eyebrows raised.

'You kiss and touch a girl, or you lose. That's basically the game,' Zayn grumbles.

'Yeah. You keep taking it further until one of you chickens out. So for us, it's the same but with another guy,' Ed adds.

Laura looks up at Harry with a dubious expression on her face.

'Harryyy, you want to join. I can see it in your eyes,' Nick says, already separating himself from Niall to make his way over to Harry.

'No,' Harry says defensively, chewing on his bottom lip. 'I don't know.'

'C'mon. I thought you were a cool kind of guy,' Nick pushes and lowers himself to sit down next to Harry but accidentally flops down onto his leg instead.

'Ow!' Harry shouts with a frown, pushing him off his leg. 'I'll play.'

I stare at Harry. Did he just say..?

Nick throws his arm around Harry's neck and presses a sloppy kiss to his cheek. 'You're the best. I knew you'd do it.' He gives Laura an apologetic look. 'I'm sorry, Harry's girlfriend. I see a lot of potential gayness in your boyfriend.'

Laura chuckles softly, but I can see the question in her eyes. She's probably thinking why the hell Harry decided to join the game. I think Harry's just one of those people who are easily persuaded. Nick's very good at persuading.

'C'mon Louis, don't you want a kiss from me?' Niall tries to press his lips to my cheek, as if trying to imitate what Nick did to Harry, and I scrunch my nose up in disgust, turning my head away from him.

'I bet your kisses are wet and slimy,' I say. 'No thanks.'

'Ouch, you sassy lady. Bet you want a nice kissy kiss from Harry over there,' Niall continues and misses the way my eyes slightly widen and my cheeks redden. 'I can totally see you guys making out. It's meant to be, you know. Like in those love stories.. It's exactly like that. Wow..' His expression is kind of wary, and I think he's even more drunk than I thought at first.

My heartbeat picks up speed at his words, and I anxiously look at Laura. She's already looking at us, and hides her smile behind her hand. I give her a weak smile in return and it feels like there's a huge knot in my stomach.

My thoughts are all over the place after that and about a minute later, everyone's giving me an expectant look.

'What?' I manage to breathe, feeling as if my heart and head might both explode. I see Harry in the corner of my eye, running a hand through his hair. He's always in my vision and I hate that I can't stop thinking about him.

'Are you joining or not?' Ed asks. 'We're all playing. Don't ask why. Look at it as a ritual, a blessing for our new group of friends.'

My mind is running into overdrive and before I can think any longer about it, the word 'yes' leaves my mouth. I don't know why, but Niall's words had a huge impact on me. Just the idea of him knowing about Harry and I, though I know he doesn't, makes me so nervous. He'd think I'm an awful human being. The worst friend ever.

Everyone's getting into position so that we're in a neat circle again, with the warm fire in the middle, spreading heat around the group.

'Okay, so how do we do this?' Zayn asks.

I wonder how they got him to agree to participate. He seems like a stubborn person. And also.. Laura!

'You just kiss who you want to kiss,' Nick says, his face extremely serious. Too serious.

Everyone's gaping at him, including me, and he laughs loudly.

'You guys! Relax, okay. It was just a joke,' he says, chuckling.

Nobody laughs.

'Right,' he says awkwardly. 'We need a bottle. I think I've got a few empty ones here,' he looks behind him in the sand, and I roll my eyes. Obviously.

My scalp prickles with the prospect of actually spinning a bottle and having to kiss someone. The thought almost makes me nauseous with nerves. I don't even know why, because I'm usually pretty outgoing. It might have to do with the fact that I've almost never had a boyfriend. Plus, I've only kissed a few guys in my whole lifetime. No, kissing random strangers like Zayn isn't something I usually do. For the others, it's a joke, but I'm actually gay so it feels kind of weird. Ed won't have to worry about being a decent kisser when he kisses another bloke, because it's not something he's into and everyone knows that. But I'm actually gay, so I feel like people look at me differently when I do it.

Nick places a bottle in the middle of our circle with a content smile on his face. _He's absolutely crazy_ , I think to myself. And yet, I don't think he's that bad. I like people who are straight up with everyone and don't hesitate to be themselves.

As he explains the game once more, there's that nagging thought in the back of my mind, that's been there since he mentioned the game and that I've desperately tried to push away. _What if you have to kiss.._

'I'll start, to show y'all how it's done,' Nick announces, and spins the bottle straight after.

I stare at the bottle as it spins and spins, almost making me dizzy. I need to stop worrying about this.

I look over at Harry over the bottle for the first time in what feels like forever, and I immediately meet his gaze. He looks almost concerned and I realize I've probably had a nervous expression this whole time. I've always been awfully bad at hiding my feelings. I quickly avert my gaze.

The bottle stops. Nick crawls to the middle of the circle and motions Niall to come closer with his index finger. Niall immediately comes forward and meets him halfway. Instead of placing his lips on Nick's, he sticks out his tongue and only manages to lick his chin, since Nick is already pulling away with a grimace.

'You lose!' Niall cheers and cackles loudly.

Everyone laughs at Nick. Even I manage to crack a smile. I adore that boy.

Nick looks almost offended and uses the back of his hand to wipe off his chin. 'You cheated.'

'Boo! Sore loser!' Niall yells, sitting down in his previous position with a huge grin.

'Anyway,' Nick sighs. 'It's your turn to spin the bottle, Niall.'

Niall spins the bottle. It lands on Zayn.

Zayn groans and shuffles forward. 'Don't lick me please.'

Niall laughs loudly and goes in to press his lips against Zayn's, seemingly without thinking twice about it. His lips miss Zayn's lips, and they accidentally land right below his nose. Tomorrow, when I tell him all the things he's done tonight, he'll be so humiliated. He's so careless that it turns into reckless when he's drunk.

Zayn grabs the sides of Niall's face and readjusts their mouths, so that they're actually kissing. It looks kind of weird, because Zayn's eyes keep blinking open every now and then, and Niall's eyes are wide open the entire time, his hands in the sand to hold himself up. Everyone's giggling and cheering them on. Zayn bursts into laughter against Niall's mouth, unable to hold it back. Niall just keeps moving his lips over Zayn's in a sloppy manner.

I feel myself growing more relaxed as I sit here, laughing. I can handle this. They're all cool, they wouldn't judge me. I sneak a quick glance at Liam. I'm not surprised when I notice the strained smile on his face. His eyes are trained on Zayn's hands that are now running through Niall's hair in a daring manner.  He catches my eye and visibly tenses for a second. I give him a knowing smile and he blushes, looking down.

Niall opens his mouth and when his tongue wildly runs over the raven-haired boy's lips, Zayn's had enough. He pulls back and retreats himself to his spot.

'That was.. different,' he says, chuckling softly.

'I'm the best at this game,' Niall says proudly, his blue eyes sparkling.

It's Zayn's turn to spin the bottle. When the bottle lands on Liam, I feel excited but also apologetic for him. His brown eyes go a bit wide, and they lock eyes.

'Ooooh!'

Zayn gives him a small smile, and it's a smile I haven't seen from him before. I think it might be his special smile that he saves for Liam.

He crawls over to Liam, and Liam just sits there at first, gaping slightly.

'You up for this?' Zayn asks, as if sensing Liam's apprehension. His concern warms my heart, and I can't believe how they're not together yet.

Liam doesn't say anything. Instead, he initiates the kiss by pressing his lips against Zayn's. Zayn looks surprised, but automatically closes his eyes and leans into it.

I swear I feel butterflies just looking at them. It's like one of those typical romantic movies where a couple finally kisses and it's just a revelation to watch.

Both their eyes are closed now, and it's like everyone senses the difference between this kiss and the one Zayn and Niall shared.

They hesitantly move their lips together. I watch as Zayn brings one of his hands up to gently cup one of Liam's cheeks. Liam responds by burying his hand in Zayn's hair and shuffling a bit closer. The watching starts feeling intrusive when Liam opens his mouth and deepens the kiss.

'This is like, fully making out,' Nick says to us, his eyes big. 'They're a great example for you guys. You could learn from this.'

'Ssh, don't ruin the moment,' Perrie hushes him, the corners of her mouth tugging up slightly. I remember that she's had a relationship with Zayn, and it occurs to me that she might have seen this coming.

I look at Zayn and Liam again, and it's almost getting steamy. One of Zayn's hand rests on the back of Liam's neck and the other runs down his back, while both of Liam's hands are exploring Zayn's smooth locks. Their heavy breathing is audible and I swallow thickly. I'm happy for them, but if they keep it going like this, it might end up being a very uncomfortable situation, for my pants in particular. I can't help it. It's visually pleasing to watch two fit boys make out like that, okay?

They pull away at the same time and breathe into each other's mouths for a few seconds.

Ed starts clapping and the rest of us join in.

'Holy shit,' Ed says with raised eyebrows.

'You guys almost gave me a lady-boner,' Sam says, shaking her head in awe. 'That was perfect.'

Liam and Zayn are still completely engulfed by each other, ignoring us, and just staring at each other with wary smiles, as if they can't believe what happened themselves. Zayn smiles with his tongue between his teeth, and Liam's got this look on his face as if he thinks he's dreaming.

'Okay, are you two lovebirds done gazing at each other? Liam, spin the bottle,' Nick urges impatiently.

Liam seems to snap out of his trance and stares at the bottle.

'No, I'm done now,' he says, and gives Zayn a hesitant smile.

Zayn offers him a broad smile in return, as if it can't get any cuter.

'Aw,' I coo at them.

'Liam, you need to spin! It's part of the game, you can't just quit,' Nick complains.

'Piss off, if he wants to quit then he can. I'll spin for him if I have to,' I sigh, rolling my eyes. As soon as the words leave my mouth, I want to swallow them back down. _Shit, shit, shit. Please take it as a joke, please take it as a.._

Nick smirks and my heart sinks. _Fuck_. 'Yeah? Go on then.'

He pushes the bottle towards me and I stare at it like it's some kind of alien. I vaguely register the way my hand is slightly shaking as I give the bottle a soft push. I sit back and watch as it spins and spins. Everyone's looking at it as well, curious as to who it will land on. The quietness sounds loud in my ears as the bottle slows down.

It stops, and my heart does the same. I look up.

'No, that's against the rules. Spin again, it has to be someone of the other sex.' I faintly hear Nick's voice over the throbbing in my head. Perrie laughs, her pearly white teeth glimmering in the dark.

I almost forget to breathe when I reach forward to spin again, my jaw tightly clenched. It's almost like torture, having to wait for it to land on someone again.

This time, it lands right in between Ed and.. Harry. By now, a light buzzing has begun in my ears. I don't know if my body is slowly breaking down, or if I'm simply dying slowly. Things aren't looking too well.

'Lemme take a closer look,' Nick pipes up, standing up and walking over to inspect the bottle. He tilts his head from side to side, a hand on his chin.

Harry's got this stoic look on his face, but when our eyes lock, I see that glimpse of uncertainness in his eyes. My cheeks heat up and I force myself to focus on the bottle instead, waiting for Nick's verdict.

'Hm. Jade and Perrie, I need your help with this. This game has to be played fair, so we need to be very precise with this, you see.' He directs the last part towards me and I nod silently.

Jade and Perrie take a look at the bottle and whisper something to each other. Then they say something to Nick, but I can't make out their words.

Nick nods with a smile. 'Yeah. That's what I was thinking.'

He sits down in his spot from earlier and crosses his legs. He looks at me and purses his lips, obviously trying to build up the tension.

'You're kissing Harry.'

As soon as the words click in my mind, my first internal instinct is to get up and walk away from all of this. My heart's beating too fast, my palms are clammy and my head is spinning, faster than the bottle did. _I can't do it_ , I think to myself. _I'll faint._ Laura will be sitting right there, watching us!

'Okay,' I choke out, and the fact that I'm still able to speak surprises me.

I look up at Harry then, and everything seems too real when he's already on his knees and shuffling towards me. His expression is less wary than before. In fact, there seems to be a challenging look in his green eyes.

I start moving as well, and stiffly make my way over to the middle.

I stop right in front of Harry, and our faces are a few inches apart now. I hear the soft 'oooh's from the group, but most of my attention is grabbed by the intent expression dominating Harry's face. His stormy eyes bore into mine and before I get the chance to stare at his face any longer, which might have looked suspicious, he leans forward and catches my lips in a simple kiss. Feeling his lips against mine again within such a short span of time, is something I'm not able to comprehend. All my thoughts seem to fade away as I revel in the soft plushness of his bowed lips against mine.

He moves his head a bit and starts moving his lips very slowly against mine. I automatically tilt my head to the right to get a better angle. His scent is somewhat familiar now, but I could never get used to it. It's mind-blowingly good.

I don't know if everyone's gone quiet around us, or if I've lost all my other senses. It's almost as if it's just me and Harry, and all my nerves are somehow slipping away. I feel one of his hands creep up my neck. He cups my face and opens his mouth. My stomach does flips as I let him in. We start exploring each other's mouths, comfortably and very thoroughly. I unconsciously move my hand into the soft curls resting on his shoulder, and softly pull on a few of them.

His quick inhale of breath doesn't go unnoticed by me, and I swallow the sound. He runs his other hand over my waist, and he sets every piece of my skin he touches on fire. I make a tiny sound into his mouth, and it's almost like a warning when he softly bites down on my lower lip. It's like a wake-up call, and my reflex is to pull away.

As soon as our lips part, I take a deep, steadying breath. I hear him do the same.

'I win,' he says, his voice rougher than before. For a second, I don't understand what he means, but then I do, and panic kicks in.

I look around our group of friends, and everyone's gaping at us. I feel like throwing up. A few seconds ago I was in heaven, and now I'm in hell.

'Fuck me, that was hot,' Nick breathes, and the way he's leaning forward, as he probably has been the whole time, makes it seem like we're on a stage, performing our act.

'Didn't expect that. You guys are really.. good at this game,' Ed says, looking a bit shocked, and maybe also a little bit impressed.

Laura looks surprised, to say the least. I can't fully make out her expression, though.

A few others are looking at her as well, as if wanting to know what she thinks about this. It makes me feel very anxious. We should've laughed while we kissed, we should've acted in a hesitant way. It would've been obvious to a blind man that we enjoyed this kiss.

'No, I'm shitty at it. This bastard totally beat me,' I breathe, hopefully in a nonchalant way, in an attempt to cover up what just happened.

Harry shrugs. 'What can I say? I'm very fanatical with these things.'

'Yeah, we could see that,' Nick says, grinning. I sigh, relieved that at least someone's laughing. This awkwardness is so offsetting.

'Can we go? I'm cold,' Jade complains, wrapping her arms around her body and shivering.

Everyone starts talking again and Harry and me are still sitting close to each other.

'Just relax okay?' he says under his breath. I look at him. 'They don't know.'

I nod, still a bit unconvinced.

Laura is coming our way and I hold my breath as she stands next to Harry.

'You guys coming? We're going back,' she says with an unreadable expression on her face.

Harry stands up and wraps his arm around her waist and my heart collapses in on itself. 'Yeah, let's go.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading, please leave a comment below! I love reading them, they help me progress with the story :) x


	15. A Great Friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyyeyeyey here's another chapter!  
> I'm kinda nervous for you guys to read it. I reaallly hope you'll like it. :)  
> xx

I feel something nudge my side and I groan softly, turning over. Something's poking me in the ribs, and it's getting really annoying.

'Fuck off, Niall,' I mumble with my face pressed into my duvet. It's still too dark to have to wake up.

'Louis.'

I prick up my ears. _Is that..?_

'Are you awake?' the soft, low voice asks.

Okay, that's definitely Harry. I'm immediately much more awake as I turn over again to face him in the dark. I can only make out the outlines of his figure, leaning forward over the side of my bed.

'What are you doing?' I ask him with squinty eyes.

'Ssh. Don't wake up Niall,' he hushes. 'I need to talk to you about something important.'

I frown to myself. I'm not sure if I'm ready for whatever he's got to say this early in the morning.

'Please,'  he urges softly.

I'm glad I can't see the puppy eyes he's probably giving me right now, because I can't handle that.

I sigh heavily. 'Right.'

* * *

I follow him into the kitchen where he's already put the light on. I struggle to adjust to the brightness of the light as I sit down opposite of him at the table. I rake my eyes over the curly boy in front of me. He looks messy. His hair is tousled in an odd way and his cheeks are red, presumably from lying on them in bed. He looks at me with his tired eyes and I have to say he still manages to look edible when he's tired and just got out of bed.

I, on the other hand, probably look like a caveman.

'I feel very guilty towards Laura,' Harry begins, and stares at the table. 'I keep thinking about it.'

I stare at him. 'About what exactly?'

His eyes meet mine. The green color of them is always more intense than I expect. 'About us. What we did.'

I avert my gaze. 'Yeah, but we said we'd..'

He interrupts me with a short nod. '- try to be friends, I know. But do you really believe that'll work?'

I frown at him. 'What else will?' Where is he going with this? I thought it was clear that there's nothing we could possibly do about this that'll allow us to be together.

'Anyway, that's not the important thing I wanted to talk to you about,' he says and runs a hand through his hair, making it look even more lopsided. 'What I wanted to say is that I'm breaking up with Laura. Today.'

His eyes rake over my face to gauge my expression. The words take a while to sink in. _What?_

'What?'

'I'm breaking up with Laura,' he repeats, carefully.

My heart sinks and I feel like this is a climax of something that's been building up for a while now.

'You can't!' I gasp out the words.

'Be quiet,' he says with a frantic expression. 'What do you mean?'

I feel the tears forming behind my eyes. 'Don't break up with her.'

He gives me a stern look. 'I have to, Louis. I can't keep pretending I feel the same about her as before.'

These are the words I dreaded the most. This is it. This is what I made happen by my stupid, childish behavior.

'You've been doing a pretty decent job at that, don't you think?'

The harsh words leave my mouth before I can stop them.

'Don't talk like that. I've been trying very hard, but how I feel about her is nothing compared to how I feel about you, about us.'

I start panicking. I can't even bring myself to feel happy about his words. He's seriously going to do this, and everything's gonna be fucked up.

'It'll hurt her so bad. And it's all my fault,' I whisper, my voice cracking.

'It's not. The kissing was our mistake, okay? But now it already happened, and I can't just forget about it.'

'Try harder!' I desperately plead with him.

'Fuck, Louis. You can't force me to act like nothing's going on. It's unfair to her to keep up an act like that!' He rubs his temples in frustration.

'But you can't hurt her like that, not when we're still on holiday! This is what she's been looking forward to for so long. She'll be completely shattered.' I quickly wipe away a single tear. _Don't fucking cry._ I can't believe it's come to this. It's not that I haven't thought about him breaking up with her, but those were silly thoughts. I knew it wouldn't feel right. And I was right. It really, really doesn't. Not when it's your best friend who's getting her heart broken.

'I know, but she'll be even more shattered if she finds out I'm cheating on her but still act as if I have feelings for her and you know it.'

I stare down at my fingers in silence. He's right. I do know that it's the best thing to do, but the thought of me being the cause of all of this makes my stomach churn.

'You won't tell her about us right?' I ask. My heart hurts.

He slowly shakes his head, his lips pressed together in a thin line. 'No. I think it's better if she doesn't know.'

'And what are we gonna do?' I ask, barely audible.

He sighs softly, and looks down at the table again.

His silence drags on for what feels like hours. He doesn't have an answer. I don't have an answer. We both don't have an answer. This whole thing is starting to give me a headache, and I push my chair back from the table.

He looks up at me and there's too many different emotions in his eyes for me to decipher.

'I'm going back to bed,' I say and quietly leave the kitchen.

* * *

I wake up a few hours later, and when I peek over at Niall's bed, I see that it's empty.

I walk into the kitchen. Niall and Harry sit at the table and they're eating quietly. Memories from what happened a few hours ago come flooding back to me and I almost get an instant headache from it all over again. It seems like decades ago now. I still can't believe what he's going to do. I hope he's changed his mind.

I search the drawers for the box of cornflakes. After a while, it occurs to me how quiet they actually are. You could hear a pin drop. I turn around to face them.

'What's going on?'

Harry looks up and by his expression, I immediately know what happened. My pulse quickens. That explains why Laura isn't here.

Niall also looks up at me. I wonder if he knows what happened.

'Harry broke up with Laura,' he says, honest as ever.

Okay, so he does know what happened. So they're not in a relationship anymore. I can't seem to grasp the meaning of those words, can't seem to comprehend them. I feel like I'm the reason for this. Laura's probably sitting in her room right now, bawling her eyes out. _I_ want to bawl my eyes out.

I know she expects me to check up on her, as her friend, but it's the last thing I want to do right now. I guess I've got no other choice than to just do it.

* * *

'Laura?' I ask, hesitantly.

She's sitting on the bed with her back towards the door, hunched over. She looks so small like this. I don't know if she's crying or not.

I walk over to the bed and softly sit down next to her. She stays very still and doesn't acknowledge me. For a moment, I realize that the evening before, Harry and I have kissed right in front of her. The thought that she might think that there's something going on between us scares me.

I push the thought away and try to console her instead.

'Hey, look at me,' I say in a gentle tone.

She slowly turns her head towards me. Her eyes are redder than usual, but she's stopped crying. She looks a bit pale.

I immediately wrap my arms around her and hug her to my chest.

'Oh, Laurie,' I murmur into her hair. I hate myself so much right now. Look at me. What a good friend I am! I don't know if I'll ever get over the fact that this break-up practically evolves around me.

She relaxes in my arms, which is a relief.

'I saw it coming,' she says shakily and chokes out a soft sob.

I hold her a bit tighter and stroke her soft hair with my hand. 'You're amazing, you know that right?' I mutter. 'Don't forget that.'

She stays quiet and brings her arms around my middle, hugging me back.

* * *

'Jesus man, I never saw that one coming,' Niall hums, shaking his head in disbelief as he sits down on his bed.

I'm currently lying on my bed, texting my family and telling them how much I'm enjoying myself here, although I'm not sure if that's very honest or not. A lot of stuff has happened since I met Harry. Stuff to worry about.

I kick my legs out in front of me. 'I know. She must feel horrible.'

'I think she does, yeah. I just went to her room to comfort her. She seemed very upset, obviously.'

I glance at him from the side. I didn't realize it before, but I think Niall and Laura became pretty close friends on this holiday. That's a comforting thought; at least she's got something good out of this.

'I really don't get why Harry would dump her. I liked him before, but now I think he's kind of an ass.'

I stay silent, not knowing what to say.

'She doesn't deserve to be treated like that. I mean, he's breaking up with her for no reason.'

I frown. I don't like the fact that he's blaming everything on Harry. I feel like I'm a huge part of this.

'You don't know that.'

He looks over at me. 'Well, it must be a damn good reason if he's breaking up with her while she's on her dream holiday.'

'So he should've broken up with her after this holiday? Is that what you're saying? As if that's fair to her,' I retort with a snappy tone. This is the exact opposite of what I said to Harry this morning, but I don't care.

He gives me a confused look. 'No need to get all defensive,' he says, his voice soft.

I start picking at my fingernails, feeling a bit embarrassed about my falling out to him. I just don't want to hear about it. He's making me feel extra guilty. For a millisecond, I feel sorry for myself for having to endure all of this. Bu that's just the most stupid thought ever. I should've prevented this from happening.

'I was just starting to like him as a person, you know. I'm trying to understand him,' I tell him, trying to talk myself out of it. 'I think we should give him a chance. Sometimes people clash and relationships end.' The more I talk, the more I feel like I'm making it worse.

We don't say anything after that and I'm kind of worried I might have given him a weird impression. _What am I doing?_ My best friend sitting in her room, pale and almost paralyzed, and I'm here defending Harry like.. I care about him. And I do care about him. I don't want him to be the bad guy. He's not. We're the bad guy together, and I hate it.

Niall clears his throat like he's about to say something. I lift my head and look over at him.

He opens his mouth and keeps his eyes on his phone. 'Sometimes I feel like an outsider when it's the four of us.'

His words are such a surprise to me that I don't know how to react at first. They hang between us in the air, loud and heavy.

'Why?' I ask him, tossing my phone aside and sitting up slightly.

He shrugs nonchalantly, his face blank. I've honestly never seen Niall like this. He's always so happy and carefree. This is.. different. In a negative way.

'It just seems like there's a lot of stuff going on that nobody tells me about,' he admits and locks his eyes with me, his blue eyes hesitant.

My heart stutters and my throat closes up.

'Laura being so off these days, probably because of the whole situation between her and Harry. I feel like you know what's went on in their relationship that made it crash, and I'm not saying it's my business, but it's like everyone knows about it except for me. It makes me feel stupid.. and almost like no one trusts me with the information.'

His honesty puts me completely off guard and I immediately feel sorry for not telling him anything.

'I don't know exactly what was going on between them and what caused the break-up, but Laura has talked about it to me. She had worries, and-'

He cuts me off. 'No, it's okay. You don't have to tell me now. It's not the only thing that's bothered me. It's also the fact that you've been a lot more quiet than usual on this trip. You can talk to me about things you worry about. You know that, right?' he asks.

My heart jumps out of my chest and melts at the same time. I'm so scared he's going to find out soon. He's much more observant than I give him credit for.

'I'm okay,' I assure him with a small smile. 'I guess I'm just feeling a bit homesick.'

He looks at me for a second, studying my features. I feel exposed and it's like the lies are written all over my face.

'Okay. Well, maybe I'm just being paranoid. But I thought I'd share anyways.'

He gives me one of his special smiles that make me feel so lucky to have him as a friend and I immediately walk over to sit beside him on the bed and put my arm around him.

'You know I love you,' I tell him, trying to forget about all my problems for a second. I need to remind myself that I'm so lucky to have such great friends.

'I do know,' he says cheekily, elbowing me in the side.

I laugh, knocking our shoulders together.

'Let's take a dip in the pool, yeah?' Niall asks and I nod. 'I'll see if Laura wants to join us.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below, because I love that xx


	16. Fairytales

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiaiiaiaiaiaiai  
> Finally it's the holidays and I have more time to write!   
> I'm hoping to upload at least two more chapters these two weeks so yeah :)   
> I hope you enjoy this chapter.   
> xx

'Hey, do you wanna come to the pool with us?'

I hear Niall's muffled voice as I stand outside Laura and Harry's room. I peek into the kitchen. It's empty.

After what feels like a few minutes of waiting, I begin tapping my foot, wondering if I should take a look inside.

I hear someone flushing a toilet and the door opens behind me. I turn around, slightly startled.

'Sorry, didn't mean to scare you,' Harry says while fumbling with his belt. My eyes briefly drift down to his hands and back up to his face. He's wearing a loose white shirt and jeans today. I don't understand how someone can look so handsome in clothes that are so plain and simple.

'It's okay.'

His eyes quickly run up and down my body. My cheeks redden.

'What are you doing here?' he asks, a curious expression on his face.

'Niall and I are going to the pool. I don't know if he's coming anymore, though.' I cross my arms and awkwardly look down at my feet.

'I'll join you,' he says and I look up at him. He rubs his neck with his hand, a hesitant half-smile on his face. 'If you don't mind.'

'No, of course not,' I say, shrugging.

'So do you wanna wait for Niall, or..?'

I shake my head. 'He probably isn't coming any time soon, so let's go.'

* * *

I take a leap into the water before Harry can push me into it. The water gives me a cold shock. I swim to the surface for air.

Harry's already in the water beside me. He shakes his hair like a dog and a few drops land on my face and shoulders. I get a bit shivery, so I start moving my limbs as much as possible, trying to get warm.

Harry's head disappears under water before coming up again. He runs his hands over his hair, slicking it back over his head. A few strands fall to the side and over his ears in a very nonchalant way, and I can't help but admire his good looks. For all I know, he could be a model.

He turns to face me. I notice the way a few drops of water slide down the sides of his face and from his eyelashes.

'I wanna talk about what happened,' he says.

I sigh. 'I'd rather not.'

He frowns at me. 'Why don't you ever want to talk about us?'

'Why do you?'

'Because it matters to me!'

'Good for you, but conversations about us always disappoint me anyways.'

'What do you mean?'

I huff in annoyance. 'It's a lost case, okay? Let's just put it to rest. There's no way to fix this. We already ruined my best friend's and your ex-girlfriend's holiday.'

'I know, but we can't change what happened and we can't ignore what's going on between us.'

'Why not? What if I told you that I wánt to ignore it?'

'Do you really want that?'

I roll my eyes and shrug.

'Louis, we need to talk about what we're going to do.'

'I don't wanna talk.'

He groans. 'Stop being stubborn.'

'Stop being pushy,' I shoot back.

'Why are you acting like this?'

'Because I just feel so guilty the whole damn time! I can't look at my best friend without thinking about what we did and I hate myself for it. She's so lovely and I'm just a fucking-'

'Shut up! It happened, okay?'

'Don't you feel guilty?'

'Of course! I care a lot about her. What we did was wrong, and I'm fully aware of that. But now, there's nothing we can do about it. And the last thing I want, is to lose what was the beginning of something for us. That would be wrong too.'

'Are you actually stupid? So now it's over between you and her, and what? You think we can be together now? Wake the fuck up, Harry. This is reality, not some kind of fairytale.'

'That's not what I'm saying! Stop jumping to conclusions about everything.'

'Well, you're being ignorant.'

I start swimming towards a cave, trying to get out of the conversation.

He immediately follows me.

'Come on, Louis! Don't be childish.'

'I'm not being childish, you..' I stop myself before I begin cursing at him. I don't know why, but I feel so irritated by him and everything.

He swims towards me. 'What's wrong with you? Why are you being so cranky?'

'I'm just pissed off, okay? We ruined everything, and only because of some stupid hormones or something like that. It's pathetic.'

'Hormones?' He looks at me, but I can't make out his expression in the darkness of the cave.

'Yeah. It was just a stupid mistake.'

There's a short silence and I almost feel like going under water, just to hide myself from him and the world.

'So you didn't feel anything?' He almost sounds upset.

'It was just.. dumb. A spur of the moment kind of thing.'

His breathing sounds heavier for some reason, and I feel a pang of guilt. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. It probably sounded mean.

Suddenly, his soft lips collide with mine and I stumble backwards in the water, surprised. My arms fly around his neck to keep myself from falling and his arms wrap around my waist. He walks me backwards into the rocky wall of the cave.

Just as I open my mouth to let his tongue in, I feel something hard against my back and I groan into his mouth. He immediately starts sucking on my tongue. The action seems so erotic and sudden that I briefly open my eyes in surprise. He hums and goes back to kissing me passionately.

His taste fills my mouth and I can't get enough. I bury my hands into his wet hair and tug on a few strands. He moans louder than I expected and I can't help but smirk against his mouth. That's definitely something he likes.

I feel his growing erection against my thigh, and I start moving my leg experimentally. His large hands immediately slide down to my buttocks, and he starts firmly kneading them. The action causes blood to rush towards my groin and I breathe heavily into his mouth.

Our lips part and he ducks his head to place soft kisses against my neck. The new feeling burns my skin and I let out a quiet whimper as I start moving my crotch against him to find more friction.

'Do you feel anything now?' he breathes huskily. His warm breath hits my skin and my knees almost buckle.

I nod, gasping as he rubs himself against my thigh faster.

'Prove it.'

His words turn me on more than I'd ever admit. I slide my hands down to his butt and pull him up against me so that our erections rub against each other.

We both moan at the same time. He lifts his head and rests his forehead against mine.

Drops of water slide from his hair onto my face as we stand there, panting in the dark, our movements never stopping. It seems impossible to stop. All my boundaries have flown out the window. All I want is _Harry, Harry, Harry_.

'So good,' he says, his voice low while he keeps groping my bum. 'You're too good.'

I don't know what to answer, so I just kiss him. He immediately kisses me back, and I don't think I'll ever forget this kiss. Or any of our kisses for that matter. I don't think everyone gets to experience kisses like these. So full of passion, heat and everything that's amazing.

I feel myself leaking in my swim shorts and my cheeks grow hot as that great feeling starts to build up inside me.

Harry breaks our kiss and rests his head on my shoulder.

'I'm not going to stop,' he grunts and kisses my earlobe. 'Are you alright with that?'

I nod frantically, unable to say anything. I don't want anything else right now than to share that amazing moment with him. Right here, right now. Even if it's in a swimming pool. Nothing matters anymore. It's just us.

'Say it.'

I swallow thickly and open my mouth. He gives a particularly hard thrust and I moan out instead.

I think I feel his cock twitch against mine and his breathing's even louder than before.

'C'mon,' he rushes out the words.

'Y-yes,' I stutter, my pulse entirely too fast. I don't know if I'll be able to hold back any longer.

I think I feel his tongue on my shoulder, and that's when I feel like I'm gonna lose it.

'Harry,' I gasp, my eyes tightly shut.

'Love it when you say my name,' he mutters lowly.

He grinds against me in a slower pace then, his hips rolling against mine deliciously. I can't stop making sounds and by the way he softly bites into my shoulder, he seems to like it.

'Are you almost there?' he asks.

'Yes, yes,' I groan, burying my face in his hair. The smell of it only adds to the sensation.

'Come for me,' he demands lowly into my ear.

I let go. White explodes behind my eyelids and I groan as I release my load into my swimming trunks. The feeling is so good, I might collapse. 'Harry,' I whimper, still going.

'God,' he grunts and I feel him tense up against me. His grip on my ass tightens and he moans. I feel his cock throbbing through the material of his shorts as he releases in long spurts. His mouth is open against my shoulder and I feel his stuttering breath hit my skin.

He slumps against me and lean back against the wall, out of breath. The sound of our heavy breathing seems too loud in the dark cave.

After a few seconds, it finally registers to me that we just came in a swimming pool. That's like, very un-hygienic. I don't think I care.

He slowly lifts his head from my shoulder and pecks me on the lips. He lingers for a few seconds, then pulls back. There's this lazy, contented expression on his face and I can't help but wish I would've been able to see his face while he was coming. That must've looked glorious.

'So. Did our conversation disappoint?' he asks with a lopsided smirk.

I roll my eyes and give him a small, blissed out smile. 'Not at all.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first smutty chapter! A great milestone if you ask me :)   
> Please leave a comment 'cause you know I love them. x


	17. Guilty Kisses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyaaa,  
> Another update :) Surprise surprise!   
> I hope you guys are having a good christmas.  
> Enjoy!  
> x

We stand in front of each other, our faces inches apart while we try to catch our breaths. Harry's hands are still on my butt and I wonder if I can see the imprints of his hands when I look into the mirror later. Yes, I look at my butt in the mirror sometimes. Don't judge me.

I don't think I regret letting that kiss and the other stuff happen. I've been regretting so much of it already and my ability to care is honestly spent. Harry's like an addiction and I can't help myself. The feeling I get when I'm with him is so good and I don't think I'll be able to stop. Like, ever. Picturing us together as a couple is so easy. It would be perfect.

I know that what we're doing is still a big deal, and it's very wrong, but my brakes have been damaged too much and.. I think they're broken now.

He takes a small step away from me then, and I immediately pull him back against me by instinct.

I blush and loosen my grip on him. 'Sorry.'

He chuckles lightly, his dimple showing. 'It's okay. I thought maybe you'd want some space. I mean, what we just did must've been quite overwhelming for you.' He waggles his eyebrows.

I snort, rolling my eyes. 'Well, it sure was for you, seeing as your dick was hard within three seconds of me kissing you.'

He gasps, frowning playfully. 'As if I was the only one! You practically abused my leg by stabbing it with your dick.'

'I did that because you were boring a hole in my thigh with yours!' I retort, a blush spreading over my cheeks. I love this playful side of him.

'I liked it though. Aggressive sex is not something I'm used to, but I'll take it. As long as it's with you,' he says, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a suggestive manner.

'Well, isn't that just romantic.'

'I know, baby. I even have a few good pick-up lines for you if you want,' he says, his voice smooth.

I quickly shake my head. 'God, no.'

His mouth twitches. 'You're cute.'

I glare at him. 'Stop that! I'm an adult, okay. A grown man. Rugged, even.'

'Yóu stop! You keep making me want to kiss that smart mouth of yours.' His eyes flick between my eyes and lips.

'Swoooon. You're so charming, Harry,' I say, my tone sarcastic.

'No, I'm serious. Just by being sarcastic you're already giving me hard-on,' he groans and drops his head between his shoulders.

His words make my skin prickle. 'Are you serious? You just finished like a second ago!'

'It's been longer than that. If you're ready then I'm ready,' he says, winking at me and licking his lips.

'Hell no. You can wait a bit longer. There's finally some bonding going on between us and then you ruin it with your horny attitude!'

He raises his eyebrows. 'My horny attitude?'

'Yes. Now let's finish the nice conversation we were having.'

'One kiss?' he whines.

'Good lord,' I sigh.

My gaze drifts to his pink lips that I know from experience are very, very soft. His tongue flicks out to lick at his lower lip, making me look back up to his eyes. He starts leaning in again, but just before our lips touch, I duck my head under water and start swimming away from him. I kick my legs and arms as fast as possible, a huge smile on my face as I hear his muffled curse.

I quickly surface to gasp for breath and when I try to go under again, I feel two large hands wrap around my ankles. I squeal in surprise as I'm being pulled back towards Harry. I protest by kicking my feet, but he doesn't release his hold on me.

'Come here, you tease,' he mutters.

I look over my shoulder to see a wide smile on his face, the crinkles by his eyes visible. He looks absolutely gorgeous.

'Let go of me!'

He lets out a loud laugh and shouts: 'Never!'

For some reason, that warms my heart and I want to slap myself for being so cheesy.

I end up being pulled against him, my chest against his back. He wraps his arms around my stomach, hugging me from behind and he rests his head on my shoulder.

'Got you,' he says softly, his curls tickling my ear.

This is where I want to spend the rest of my life; engulfed in Harry's arms in a swimming pool. Okay, maybe not in a swimming pool since my skin would get very wrinkly but definitely in his arms.

I sigh involuntarily, relaxing in his hold. His arms tighten the slightest bit around me and for a single moment, everything's the way it should be.

Then I hear footsteps and what sounds like Niall's voice.

I almost spasm in Harry's hold and he quickly releases me. I instantly miss the feeling.

Niall comes into view and his blue eyes focus on us. I don't know why my heart's beating so fast, it's not like he can see what we did just from looking at our faces. Unless he's a professional mind-reader. That would be so intimidating.

'Sorry it took me so long,' he says and jumps into the water.

Harry and I just kind of stand there in an awkward manner, having forgotten how to act when we can't be close to each other anymore.

Niall comes up again and splashes us.

'C'mon, you bores!'

* * *

'I have an announcement to make,' Niall says, leaning against the edge of the pool. His blonde, wet hair is flopping down over his forehead and he runs a hand through it to make it stand up.

Harry and I look at him.

'Harry and I are switching rooms,' he says, his gaze alternating between us. 'I hope you're okay with that. I don't mean to offend you, but I was talking to Laura and she finds it very uncomfortable to.. sleep in one room with you at the moment, Harry.'

I look at Harry and he looks back at me. Excitement and nervousness flows through my body and I see the same in his intent green eyes. I'm sleeping with him. Not in _that_ way, but I'm sleeping with him. Holy shit.

Harry turns to look at Niall. 'I understand. It's alright with me.' He runs his hand through his curls. My attention is immediately focused on his biceps, his pecks and the tattoos that are inked into his tanned skin. My mouth almost waters at the sight and I shiver. Just the thought of that body covering mine again is enough to make me quiver with anticipation.

Niall looks at me.

I open my mouth. 'Uh, yeah. I don't mind.'

'Good,' Niall muses. 'Cause I've already replaced your stuff with mine, so,' he continues, looking at Harry with a small, apologetic smile.

Typical Niall.

'Do you plan on making up with her, by the way?' Niall asks out of the blue. 'I mean, it's not like it's any of my business, but I'm just asking out of curiosity..'

I look at Harry, awaiting his answer.

'Well, I don't think so, to be honest,' he says, licking his lips for what seems like the hundredth time today. He shoots a quick glance at me and I almost want to go under water to hide my blush _. Why is that romantic to me?_ _I'm a horrible person._

'Oh, okay. I don't know but it just came as such a surprise to me that you broke up with her. I never saw it coming.'

I don't like how he's going on about this, it makes me very uncomfortable. And I can see from Harry's expression that the same goes for him.

'Yeah, well..' he says, trailing off. He looks away, obviously feeling weird about it.

Niall probably senses the awkwardness because he clears his throat and starts swimming away from us.

'Come on, let's go to the cave!' he says, enthusiastically beckoning us to come with.

I stiffen and Harry and I share a look.

'This is freaking me out,' I whisper to Harry, starting to make my way over.

He nods. 'I know right.'

There's a silence and then his eyes widen comically.

'We came in the water!' he whisper-shouts at me.

'Be quiet, fuck!'

* * *

Harry sits down on the bed on the other side of the room and looks over at me. His towel is loosely wrapped around his waist, his hair still dripping from the pool.

'So.. we're roommates now,' he drawls. His voice is so slow. I've always thought slow talkers are annoying, but it suits him. What doesn't, really?

I use the towel to rub my hair dry, while peeking up at him from under my lashes. 'Yep. This is actually happening.'

'I'm gonna take a shower,' he announces and stands up.

'No!' I protest. 'This was my room first. I have the right to shower first. Period.'

'Oh, really?' He arches an eyebrow and cocks his hip. He's obviously trying to look stern but failing so hard at it. He kinda reminds me of a frog sometimes. A very attractive frog.

'Yes.' I quickly grab some clothes and speed towards the bathroom.

He quickly realizes what I'm trying to do and comes after me.

I giggle as I take the final sprint to the door.

'No, no, no!'

His arms wrap around me from behind, effectively holding me back. I try to wriggle free of his hold, but he keeps his arms locked around me and presses his grin into my shoulder. I can feel his hard muscles against my back. I could get used to him holding me like this. Not that I would ever admit that.

'We could shower together?' he suggests, his voice raspy.

'Totally,' I respond.

He releases me so I can turn around. His eyes are so big and green.

'Really?'

'Of course, I'd love that.'

I think I can see a light blush dusting his cheeks. And if that isn't the cutest thing I've ever seen.

'Holy shit.. You're so-'

I quickly slip past the door and turn the lock.

He lets out a loud groan. 'Annoying!'

I burst out laughing and I hear him snicker through the door.

'Hmmm. Don't mind me. I'm gonna have such a nice shower,' I hum, peeling my swim shorts off and throwing them on the floor.

The lock makes a weird sound and my eyes widen when I see that Harry's trying to pry the door open with something.

'Harry! You won't be able to open it,' I say, trying to reassure myself. I cover myself with my hands, just in case.

There's some more fumbling and then I hear a sigh.

'Dammit. You're right.'

I let out a loud laugh and hop into the shower.

* * *

Showers are bad. I hate showers. They make me think everything through, and it's so annoying. It's definitely not what I need right now.

I've been trying not to feel guilty anymore, but now I can't stop thinking about Laura and Harry and Niall and everything. What am I even thinking? She's the best friend I've ever had, she's so nice and she always makes me laugh. Right now, she's sad. And I'm kissing the guy who dumped her on the same day. I think I'm going insane. The mere idea of her finding out about Harry and I almost has me in tears.

If Niall finds out, he'll hate me. When he finds out what a horrible human being I am, he'll think I'm disgusting.

I get out of the shower and put some clean clothes on in silence. Harry and I had so much fun today, but now I feel like I don't deserve it. I'm being a bad friend. I'm such a bad, bad friend.

I leave the bathroom. Harry's on his bed with his phone in his hands. He looks up from the screen and smiles when our eyes lock. I think I must look drained, because his smile immediately turns into a frown.

'What's up?'

I shake my head and grab some socks. 'I don't feel good about this, Harry.'

'Me neither.'

'We should stop.'

'I know.'

'It feels so damn good though.'

'I know.'

I sigh. He sits down next to me on the bed and puts his arm around me. The gesture is oddly comforting, and I automatically lean into his side. He starts rubbing my back.

'If you would just stop being so attractive,' he says and presses a kiss to the side of my head.

My heart flutters. Being around Harry makes me feel so good all the time. A few minutes ago, I felt depressed and now I feel happy and warm.

'You're cheesy as fuck,' I say under my breath, smiling involuntarily.

'Aaand you ruined the moment,' he responds, chuckling lowly. I feel the vibrations of his laughter in his chest.

He turns his head so his nose is buried in my hair. I stay silent as he inhales, not really knowing what to do.

'You smell heavenly,' he ponders.

I roll my eyes, blushing lightly.

He presses a chaste kiss to my cheek and hops up from the bed. 'I'm gonna take a shower.' 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls leave a comment! I'd love it if you did xx


	18. Avada Kedaver

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiyaaa. One more chapter this holiday, as promised! :)  
> I made this one extra, extra long for you.   
> Also, happy new year! I hope you guys enjoyed your holidays and that 2015 will be a great year for all of you.   
> Enjoy the chapter! xx

It's weird, sharing a room with Harry. While he's in the shower, I can't stop thinking about it.

Sharing a room with Harry is weird, because it's almost as if fate's trying to bring us together. Force us to be together. I keep telling myself that I'm trying to stop what's happening between Harry and me, but I don't know if I believe myself. I feel like I'm giving up too easy, simply because I like being around him. It makes me feel weak.

I've never been one to give up. When I go for something, I _really_ go for it. So when I tell myself I want to do something, I can convince myself to do so. But now.. it seems like my body is playing games with me. Or my mind. I don't even know anymore. I know what's right and what's wrong. I know what I'm supposed to do. I know I'm supposed to stop. And yet, I fail to do so.

Harry must think I'm nuts with the way my mood swings. One day I'm pushing him away and the other I'm rubbing myself against him. It's hopeless.

I hear his faint singing coming from the bathroom and the sound of his raspy voice involuntarily puts a small smile on my face. I immediately straighten my face. _You're doing it again!_ I need to stop letting my body react to him. If Laura sees my expression when Harry does one of those loud, unexpected laughs, she'll know what's up. I can't have that.

 _Maybe someday,_ I tell myself. _Maybe someday we can be together. For now, not a chance._

'The shower here is amazing,' Harry says and I look up. He walks out of the bathroom, completely naked, rubbing his hair with a white towel from the hotel.

I let out a harsh breath and look away. _Holy fuck._ His junk was in my peripheral vision.

He stops in his tracks and looks over at me. I'm blushing madly. I wish I was more nonchalant about things.

He lets out a laugh, seemingly having realized the reason for my fidgeting. 'Oh, I'm sorry. I like to walk around naked when I'm at home. It's become a habit.'

I chuckle. 'Are you joking?'

He lowers his towel, as if to cover himself a tiny bit. 'No. I'm serious. It feels.. liberating. Breezy.'

I look at him, and our eyes meet. I laugh softly when I see that he's become a bit flustered himself, a light red shade dusting the tops of his cheeks, his dimples ever present as he smiles stupidly.

'Good to know,' I say, dryly.

'Seriously, though. You should try it sometime,' he says, shrugging and turning around. He bends down to pick up some underwear from the floor and his pale bum comes in full view.

I avert my eyes quickly, feeling like an intruder, surprised and blushing even more now. I lean back to grab my phone and start tapping on the screen to act nonchalant.

'You trying to get me out of these clothes?' I can't help but tease, still looking down at the screen.

I hear his gasp. 'No, I didn't mean it like that. Oh god, I sounded like such a creep, didn't I?' he rambles, and I try not to laugh. 'I hope I didn't make you feel uncomfortable..'

I shrug innocently. 'Well..'

'I'm sorry,' he cuts me off and walks over to me at a frantic pace, his hand reaching out for me.

I instinctively raise my head and my eyes almost fall out of my head. 'Harry! I was just kidding, but you _need_ to put on underwear. You're damn near slapping me in the face with that thing that's hanging between your legs.' I put my hands over my eyes, groaning and not believing that I just got a full view of his penis. And also absolutely mortified that my sweatpants feel tighter now.

I can almost hear his smirk. 'Oops, sorry. He's quite prominent.'

' _He_?' I choke out.

'Yeah, _he_. Don't hurt his feelings, okay? He can be a little outgoing, but I swear; Dick's a really nice guy once you get to know him better.'

'What do you mean, get to know-' I stop myself. 'Did you just call your dick.. Dick?' I peek through my fingers to look at his face. He has the widest smile on his face, dimples and all. I'm relieved to see that he's holding his underwear in front of his crotch and I lower my hands.

'Totally! Dick and I have a really close relationship, you know. We've shared a lot of great moments together. He's always there for me. Oh, and he always knows how to get me to relax when I'm feeling stressed,' he says, winking cheekily.

'To be honest, I'm not sure if I really like Dick. He sounds like a very cocky, big-headed person to me,' I comment, smirking at him.

Harry grins at me. 'Nice puns. Especially liked the 'big' part. But hey, let's not wake him up. He's a very light sleeper.'

'You disgust me,' I say, shaking my head, but still smiling.

'You love it, though.'

* * *

'Hey.'

Laura looks up at me from the book she was reading. She looks tired, but better than before. I take a peek at the cover of the book. _Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince_. Obviously. She's forced me to watch the whole series about five times and converted me to the fandom.

I close the door behind me and offer a soft smile. 'Reading it again?'

She lowers her eyes and smiles, nodding. 'I'm reading it for the third time, I think.' She turns the book over in her small hands.

I sit down next to her on the bed. 'How are you feeling?'

Her brown eyes meet mine and she shrugs. 'Better. It's weird, though. Everything happened so fast, it seems.'

'Yeah.. I remember when you talked to me about it a few days ago.'

'That seems so long ago now. A lot has happened since then. I just-' she sighs, stopping herself.

'Go on,' I urge gently.

'I just don't really understand what went wrong. I wish he would've talked to me about.. whatever it was. Then maybe we could've talked about it. Figured it out together.'

I try to ignore my guilty feelings that are resurfacing immediately at her words. 'Sometimes you can't fix things though.'

'I know, but I still wish he would've talked to me. I think he's such a good, sweet person, but I feel like he's been closing off more and more since the beginning of our relationship. In the beginning, we had the best conversations. He was someone I could really, really talk to. He wasn't only there for me as a boyfriend, but also as a friend. Especially as a friend. He always seemed genuinely interested in what I had to say and I was very fascinated by him as well. Not in a weird kind of way,' she says, and chuckles softly. 'He was very.. refreshing. But maybe we were meant to be friends. And I think I might be okay with that.'

She tucks her hair behind her air and looks down at the book.

'You're the most amazing girl I've ever met, you know?' I say earnestly, nudging her shoulder with mine.

She looks at me, her cheeks lifting as she smiles.

'Don't get all sappy on me now, boo.'

I chuckle. 'No, for real. You inspire me. You should give lots of speeches when you're older. You're good at them.'

'Thanks for the advice,' she says dryly.

'Anytime.'

She laughs, and the sound of it makes me so relieved. I'm so glad her world hasn't come crashing down on her because of this.

'We were going to watch a movie by the way,' I say. 'If it makes you feel uncomfortable to join us, I completely understand.'

'Which movie?'

' _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_ ,' I tell her with a small smile.

'I'm in.'

* * *

Harry's already sitting on the couch when Laura and I enter the room. Niall's in the kitchen, making some popcorn. Probably for himself, knowing him. He loves his food.

I can sense Laura's change in demeanor when she sees Harry. She seems unsure as she stops walking, contemplating where she wants to sit.

'Um.. we could-' I start, but Niall interrupts me.

'Laura, c'mere. I'm sharing my popcorn with you,' he states matter-of-factly and sits down on the other couch with the bowl on his lap. 'Me sharing my food is a big deal, believe me.' He raises his eyebrows.

Laura laughs softly, relaxing a bit. 'Well, I obviously can't resist an offer like that. Is it salted?' she asks while already making her way over to him.

'Most definitely,' he says, scooting a bit to make more room.

She flops down beside him and steals a few pieces of popcorn from the bowl.

I almost feel thankful towards Niall for making her feel at ease. Harry lifts his head from where he was fiddling with his hands, probably feeling weird about Laura. His eyes meet mine and he gives me a hopeful smile.

I sit down next to him and I notice how he shuffles a bit closer so our legs touch. My cheeks feel warm as I quickly stand up again with the DVD in my hands.

'What movie are we watching?' Niall asks, while stuffing his mouth with popcorn.

'One of my favorites. _Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire_.' Laura sounds surprisingly calm and I think Harry must be relieved.

I bend down to push the movie into the DVD-player.

'You're shitting me,' Niall says bluntly.

'What?'

'That's one of _my_ favorites too!' he says giddily.

I return to my place on the couch, and this time Harry doesn't shuffle closer, but leans in towards my ear as Niall and Laura keep talking about their obsession over _Harry Potter_ in the background.

'Do you know what you're doing to me when you bend down like that?' he rasps, and I stiffen, his words making my stomach do flips.

'You woke him up,' he adds, and leans back with a satisfied smirk on his face.

I stare at him for a few seconds, my mind progressing his words. My eyes widen slightly when I realize what he's talking about.

'Shut your dirty mouth!' I hiss, flushing.

'Told you he's a light sleeper,' I hear him muttering beside me.

I roll my eyes fondly. When I look up at the television, I see Laura looking in our direction in the corner of my eyes. I pretend I don't see her as I reach for the remote and press 'play'.

* * *

After an hour of watching the movie, Niall's starting on the third bowl with Laura and he's quizzing her about all the spells that are used in  _Harry Potter_ .

Harry's hand that was resting on his lap at first, has slipped down and rests between our legs. Even innocent touches like that make me feel all fuzzy inside.

'Opening or unlocking doors,' Niall prompts.

' _Alohomora._ '

'Making an object explode.'

'Lemme think.. Oh, I know. _Expulso_.'

Niall narrows his eyes at her. 'You just pretend you're not sure so you don't look crazy for knowing all these things.'

'Whatever,' she says, grinning and knocking their shoulders together.

I smile unconsciously at the sight of them getting along so well. But then the thought that he's a better friend than me pops into my mind and the smile vanishes in an instant.

'I wish I could cast spells,' Harry mumbles beside me, his eyes focused on the screen.

I look over at him and my smile returns when I see how caught up he is in the movie, his lip between his teeth.

'Yeah? What spell would you like to use?'

' _Avada Kedaver_ ,' he says, while visibly trying to keep a straight face.

I quirk an eyebrow. 'Oh, really? I can totally imagine you being a dark wizard. You just ooze danger,' I say with a sarcastic tone. 'It's _Avada Kedavra_ , by the way.'

He smirks at me. 'I love it when you go all sassy on me.'

'Stop talking. I'm trying to watch a movie,' I hush him, pretending to be into the movie while in reality, I was distracted by his hand touching my thigh the whole time.

His long fingers creep further onto my leg then, the tips lightly pressing into my skin. I look down, barely containing a gasp.

'Harry, they're sitting in the same room as us,' I whisper, shooting a quick glance in Niall and Laura's direction and seeing that they're too busy conversing with each other to notice, but still worrying.

'I wish I had an invisibility cloak,' Harry whispers back with a cheeky smile.

I can't help but laugh at that. 'So, what? So you could rub my leg without them seeing?'

'That. And so I could kiss you, and have you on my lap without them seeing,' he says, more serious now, his eyes lowering to my lips.

My breath hitches as I lick my lips out of instinct. I quickly snap myself out of it.

'We're so messed up,' I breathe quietly, looking down at my hands with a frown.

I sense the way he looks at me from the corner of my eye.

'I wish the situation was different,' he says regretfully.

His tone makes me angry for some reason. 'Well, it's not,' I sneer without thinking.

He looks at me for a bit longer before turning his head towards the screen and pulling his hand away from my leg. I instantly miss the feeling and I clench my jaw in annoyance at myself.

He drops his hand back in his lap and sighs, before standing up from the couch.

He coughs awkwardly. 'I'm gonna go to the toilet.'

Niall gives him a strange look before returning his attention back to Laura, who's rambling about some spell and excessively expressing herself with her hands.

Harry heads over to the hall and I watch him as he leaves the living room in his too skinny jeans.

* * *

I quickly grab my pajamas and go to the bathroom in our room before Harry can. Tonight was pretty awkward after my snappy comment and I know I should probably apologize but I hate apologizing so that's not an option. Instead, I decide I'm going to the first person in bed so that when he's in bed, I'll already be asleep. Or pretend to. It doesn't matter.

I quickly wash my face and brush my teeth before walking back into our room.

I eye Harry cautiously. He's laying down on his bed, holding his phone up in front of his face. The screen lights up his features; his slightly narrowed eyes, his curvy upper lip, the slight stubble above it.

I quickly get under the covers and reach for my phone, wanting to be unavailable for him to talk to.

Unfortunately, he speaks up after a few seconds of silence.

'Why were you so short with me earlier?' he asks without putting his phone away.

I wait for several beats before answering. 'I wasn't being short.'

'You were, though.'

I sigh. 'I'm just frustrated with myself, and.. this. Everything. You.'

He sits up on his bed and finally puts his phone aside. I drop mine as well, looking at him.

'Why do you feel frustrated with me?' he asks.

I shrug. 'You make me feel happy when I'm not supposed to.'

He frowns. 'Is that not allowed, or something?'

'No. It's not. Because what we're doing is wrong.'

He groans and pinches his nose. 'Can you stop saying that, please? I think I've heard you say that a thousand times.'

My nerves spike with anger. 'Well, that's what it is! I don't know why, but it almost seems like you fail to realize the gravity of the situation. This isn't some kind of joke. We're betraying her! And also Niall. We should feel ashamed, and you're just acting like nothing's wrong.'

There's a tormented expression on his face as he runs his hand through his hair. 'I'm not stupid! I know what we did and are doing is very, very wrong. But I also know that if I keep beating myself up about it, it isn't going to improve the situation. At all.'

'So what? We should just ignore it? Is that what you're saying?'

'No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying that it makes no sense to keep being mad at ourselves about this.'

'Well, I can't. I feel guilty, and I'll keep feeling guilty.'

'Okay. So are you gonna tell her?'

I stare at him in horror. 'No!'

He raises his hands, palms up. 'Then you'll keep feeling guilty!'

'As I should. I deserve it.'

'I feel guilty as well, okay? Of course I feel guilty. I'm the real bad guy, here. I'm the one who had a relationship with her. I'm the one who cheated. And I feel like I fucked up. Big time. It's definitely not something to be proud of. But I also know that you make me feel good. I love being around you. It's a feeling I don't want to risk losing by beating myself up about what happened with Laura.'

I try not to show how much his words affect me. 'I don't want to lose it either. But our timing is totally off. I don't see how this could work.'

He rubs his temples. 'I know, it's pretty damn difficult. But maybe, if we keep it secret for now, we'll be able to be honest about it later? Or.. I don't know. It's.. yeah.'

I sigh, agitated. 'I'm just afraid I'll feel bad about this forever. It's.. withholding me from what we could have if we were together.'

He looks at me in silence.

'And I'm not sure the good feeling I get from being with you can fix that.'

'I get that,' he says and breathes out heavily through his nose. 'And I'm sorry that it had to be like this.'

'It didn't. We just messed up pretty badly.'

'I know. This is very new for me as well, you know. I've never.. been with a boy like this.'

I actually almost forgot about that.

'How.. do you feel about it?' I ask hesitantly, unsure of how to approach the subject.

'Well, I don't think I've ever felt this strongly about someone without knowing them that well. So there's that,' he says, giving me an uncertain smile.

His honesty is something I like so much about him. He's very open. It also makes him vulnerable in a way.

'Same goes for me,' I ensure him. 'But maybe we should put this on the back burner. I don't want to, but I think it's for the best.'

His eyes seem slightly glazed over, and the sight pains me.

'I don't want to either,' is all he says.

'Yeah, well, we have to. So you probably shouldn't touch my leg next time.' The harsh words escape my lips before I can stop them.

He looks offended. 'Why do you keep acting like I'm the only one who can't help their feelings? I might be mistaken, but I swear you were kissing me back just as hard today in the pool.' He starts picking his pajamas up from the floor with a sour expression.

'But at least I can acknowledge that we're two stupid, horny kids who can't get theirselves together!' I snarl.

'Wow. Thanks, I'm glad I know your view on this now,' he huffs, stomping towards the bathroom.

'Like I said, life is not a fairytale. So wake the fuck up!' I retort, balling my hands into fists.

He slams the door shut, making me flinch.

I hear his raging voice through the door. 'Asshole!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a comment! I'll love you forever if you do. Reading your feedback keeps me going and inspires me to come up with new ideas for the progression of the story. xx


	19. Midnight Escapades

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally! :)  
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.  
> xx

Harry stomps back into the room after I've had to listen to him throwing a tantrum in the shower. I heard him clashing the shampoo bottle against the shower wall and his loud curse afterwards. I never thought he could get this angry.

I feel bad as I watch him trip over his own shoes on the way to his bed.

'Fucking..' he mumbles under his breath.

I watch him from where I'm lying under my duvet. He's just in his boxers and his back is turned towards me. I watch a few drops slide down his shoulder blades and I immediately feel the urge to lick them off. I quickly push that thought away, not wanting to get too distracted.

'I'm sorry, Harry,' I say softly, staring at the back of his head. His hair is still wet from the shower, the ends curling.

He throws me a look over his shoulder, clearly not having expected me to speak. His eyebrows are pulled into a frown, his mouth set in a straight line.

I anxiously look away from his eyes.

'What for?' he says, turning around again and making himself look like he's busy.

I suppress my sigh and bury my face in my pillow.

'For saying shit I don't mean. For being an ass in general,' I mumble, my eyes tightly clenched shut. I've always hated apologizing and admitting my mistakes.

'You make me feel even more guilty than I already do when you say stuff like that, you know. Makes me feel like I'm the only one who made the mistake here,' he grumbles, and turns around to face me again. 'I know that I fucked this up, but don't make me feel like I'm the only one. And don't make it seem like what happened between us was for nothing.'

'I'm not trying to-'

 'No, I'm just telling you what I feel. I don't just go around kissing people, Louis. This isn't some kind of joke to me. Is it a joke to you?'

'Of course not! I-'

He slips under his duvet, still keeping eye-contact with me. 'It seems like that, though. I don't know if you take this seriously. I do. I don't want this to be over tomorrow. Or when we get home. Or ever, really,' he says, his voice sincere. 'I just-'

'Harry, just shut up, okay?' I interrupt him, sitting up in my bed. There's a blush creeping up my neck because of his words. 'Of course I take this seriously. What I said earlier.. I didn't mean it. I don't see us as hormonal teenagers, or anything like that. I've never properly been with a boy and I'm excited, but also nervous. And I feel like an asshole. Towards everyone. It's just.. frustrating and I'm sorry for taking it out on you.'

He eyes me silently. I look at his pouty lips and his sharp jaw-line. I almost want to walk over and just.. touch his face for a while.

'I also worry you might regret breaking up with Laura later..' I murmur honestly, staring at the wall behind him.

He frowns at me. 'Why would you think that?'

I shrug nonchalantly. 'It's stupid, I know. I'm not that insecure, I promise, but yeah.. I don't know. Sorry for bringing it up, I'll just..' I stutter out incoherent sentences, hoping that we can talk about something else.

He suddenly lifts his duvet and shuffles his body towards the wall to make space. 'C'mere.'

'You want me to..?'

He nods, his green eyes calculative.

I slowly stand up and walk the short distance to his bed. I lay down beside him, careful not to come too close to his body.

He drapes the blanket over my shoulders and pulls me closer to him by my waist. My breath hitches as I'm practically up against him now. I don't know where to look with his face so close to mine. His smell consumes me as I shuffle unsurely.

'Look at me,' he demands gently, his hand still resting on my waist, tickling my skin.

I hesitantly look up to meet his gaze. His pupils are huge and my heart instantly starts beating faster.

'I've never felt this way about anyone. That also means Laura. She's amazing, but I think I liked her most as a friend. I already had my doubts with our relationship. When I met you, there was something about you that immediately got my attention. We didn't talk much in the beginning, but I felt this rush every time I saw you. It put me off, because you're a boy and I've never felt anything for a boy. I totally gave off the wrong impression. But now I know what I want. I want you. So badly. I don't know if you can tell, but my heart is not okay right now.'

He grabs my hand and lays it over his chest. The contact with his skin and the fast beating of his heart sparks something inside me, and my ears feel warm as I lock eyes with him again.

He licks his lips and lets out a low chuckle. 'I want this to last, Louis. No matter what. Do you?'

I nod almost automatically. 'Yes.'

'I think we can make this work. I believe in us.' His eyes flick between mine, looking for confirmation.

I nod again and pull him towards me without thinking twice. A surge of heat overcomes me as soon as our lips meet, and I let out a harsh breath between us. His grip on my waist tightens as he tilts his head and sucks my lip between his. I instinctively push my groin forward against his, making him groan into my mouth. My dick twitches in my pants and I pull back, panting heavily.

'They could walk in on us,' I heave, trying to catch my breath and calm my racing heart.

His lips and cheeks look redder than before as he throws a look towards the door.

'You're right,' he breathes huskily and slowly pulls his hand back from my body.

I give him a weak smile before rolling over and lifting the duvet. I don't get the chance to leave the bed, though, because his arm wraps around my middle again as he pulls me towards him so that my back is flush against his chest.

He leans his mouth over my ear and his heavy breathing makes the hairs in my neck stand up. 'If they weren't here, I would take you right now, in this bed. Make you scream my name.'

I close my eyes, almost wanting to moan at his words and feeling like I could come in my pants just from hearing them. 'Harry,' I whimper, practically at a loss for words.

His hand swiftly runs over my bulge, making me buck my hips up. 'I bet you'd come so hard.'

His hard-on is pressed against my ass and I can't help but grind back a little, my mind fuzzy.

'But you're right, they might walk in,' he says and releases me.

I look at him over my shoulder, perplexed. There's a sly smirk on his face and I slowly shake my head.

'You're awful,' I tell him, a smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

'I know.' He nuzzles my neck and I blush when he deeply inhales my smell. He gives my bum a pat. 'Get out of my bed so I can get myself off in peace.'

I gasp. 'Gross,' I say, scrunching my nose, but smiling anyways at his cheeky remark. He lets out a loud laugh and the sound makes my heart flutter. I quickly hop out of his bed and walk back towards my own.

'Do you _have_ to wiggle your bum like that?' He lets out an exasperated groan.

I jump into my bed and face him from under the blanket. 'I'm _not_ wiggling my bum! It naturally moves that way,' I say, winking.

'Yeah, yeah. I don't mind, though. Helps me take care of this faster,' he says, pointing down at his crotch.

'Harry!'

* * *

'Louis,' I hear Harry whisper.

I'm still half asleep and I toss around a little under my blanket.

'Louis,' Harry hisses again.

I make a whiny sound in my throat when I realize that Harry probably wants something from me. I throw an arm over my face, answering with a muffled 'yes?'.

'Can't sleep,' he says, soft and uncertain.

He sounds very cute when he's sleepy, I decide. I roll over to face him, although I can't see his face in the dark. I can tell he's also looking my way.

'Never good at that when I'm away from home,' he adds.

'What can I do to help you?' I ask, yawning and rubbing my eyes.

'Can we just.. talk for a bit? I'm sorry for waking you up, but I've been awake for about an hour now, so-'

'An hour?' I gasp softly.

'Yeah, it's pretty bad.'

'What time is it?'

'It's around three am.'

'Jeez, Harry. That sucks. Does this happen every night?'

I can't imagine not being able to fall asleep. I love my sleep.

'Kind of, yeah. But it's no big deal. It just gets kind of boring, you know?'

'So what did you do this past hour?'

He sighs softly, and I hear the sound of him scratching himself. 'I thought a lot. About random things. And I also listened to your breathing. Although it didn't get me to fall asleep, I have to say it was very relaxing, so thank you.'

'You're welcome,' I chuckle. 'So you did have some sleep?'

'Yeah. But falling asleep was kinda difficult since I still had a boner from when you were grinding up against me and stuff,' he says and I can practically hear his smile.

I blush and push my head into my pillow. 'You could've taken care of it, you know. I wouldn't have minded,' I blurt out. It's true. The thought of him getting off in the same room as me is just.. so hot.

A short silence follows and I'm afraid I said something weird. Then he breaks it.

'Really?'

My cheeks are on fire now and I smile nervously to myself. 'Yes. Is that weird?'

'No. More like.. hot,' he says.

My stomach clenches slightly and I take a deep breath, not really knowing what to say after that.

He groans softly and the sound almost makes me shudder.

'Shit, now I'm hard again.'

I stare into the darkness, my breathing getting heavier. Why do his words have such an effect on me?

'Louis?'

'Yeah?' I respond, barely audible.

'Can I, uhm.. Can I?' he asks hesitantly.

Blood rushes towards my crotch as I lick my dry lips. 'Yes,' I rush out, trying not to sound too eager and feeling slightly embarrassed for wanting this.

I hear his sharp inhale. The sound of his duvet moving around makes what's about to happen so real and my heart is almost bursting out of my chest as I wait for his next move.

He fumbles around for a bit before letting out a shaky breath. I realize that his hand is actually around his dick now and I fail to stifle a soft gasp.

I can see him snapping his head to the side in the darkness. 'You sure you're okay with this?' he asks, audibly out of breath.

I really, really don't want him to stop. 'Yes, I'm sure,' I tell him under my breath. 'I want this,' I add boldly, making myself blush. I'm so hard already, and he hasn't even started.

'Fuck,' he swears softly. I hear the sound of him starting to move.

I immediately imagine what he must look like right now; duvet thrown off to the side, boxers pulled down, pulsing dick in his hand. I press my palm against my crotch in an attempt to relieve some of the pressure.

'You've got me so hard, it's unbelievable,' he says with a strained voice.

I slide my hand into my own underwear, unable to not touch myself at his words. The fact that we're doing this here, in the dark, with our friends in the other room, is so thrilling.

'Are you touching yourself too?' he grits out, the rhythm of his hand getting faster.

I let out a small moan and squeeze myself to try and calm myself down a bit. Otherwise this will be over way too soon. 'Yes,' I confirm, my eyes tightly shut.

He lets out a low groan. 'Are you close?'

'Too close,' I immediately answer, the skin in my neck prickling, heart racing.

'I can't wait to fuck you, you know? You'd look so hot,' he grunts.

The sound of our strokes and our breathing paired with his words overwhelms me, and I squeeze myself again to hold back from coming. 'Y-yeah?'

He lets out a wavering moan that makes my toes curl. 'Yeah. I'd love to see you bouncing on my cock, or under me as I pound into you.'

'Harry, you're gonna make me come,' I whimper, muscles clenching.

'Let's come together,' he breathes out. 'One, two..'

'Three,' I groan, tensing up as my orgasm takes over. I hear Harry's low moan beside me, and him muttering 'fuck, fuck, fuck' as I revel in the amazing feeling. I feel my come hitting my chest.

'Oh my god,' I sigh, rubbing my clean hand against my forehead as I come down from the high.

He lets out a breathy chuckle. 'You could say that. I wish I could see you right now.'

In my mind I see him lying there with cum on his chin and his pecks. My spent dick jerks weakly in interest.

'We should go clean up,' I say, still recovering from our little wanking session.

'Nah. You can go. I'm sleepy, so I wouldn't wanna miss this chance to finally get a good rest.'

'You're filthy,' I tell him, smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment below! I love reading them (:


	20. Homesickness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late, sorry! But here's another chapter for you :)   
> Hope you enjoy it xx

'I could never get used to a sight like this,' Harry sighs beside me.

I have to agree with him as I stare at the beautiful sea and the mountains. To think that my family is miles away from this place, is crazy. They're all at home. My mom usually does the grocery shopping on Saturday mornings and here _we_ are, enjoying our breakfast in a restaurant in an expensive hotel on a beautiful island. It almost feels perfect for a while, just sitting here with Harry and not worrying about anything. Just enjoying life, basically.

'Do you miss home sometimes?' he asks, throwing a quick glance at me before digging into his Greek salad.

'Not really,' I answer honestly. I love my family, and I love home, but I needed this vacation. It feels so good to finally have a break from all the stress.

I look at Harry from the corner of my eye. He looks so, so soft and touchable with the wind blowing through his freshly washed hair, his eyes bright. The way he brings his fork to his mouth and sticks his tongue out first before taking a bite intrigues me, but I try not to stare.

'Do you?' I ask, focusing on the fruits on my own plate.

 A short silence lingers between us as he munches on his food. When he's done chewing, he nods. 'Yeah.'

I almost automatically feel concerned.

'Really?' I give him a worried look. The thought that he might not be enjoying this very much because of homesickness bothers me as soon as it enters my mind.

His eyes meet mine and I try to ignore the immediate effect it has on my pulse. He shrugs, his mouth pulling into a small smile. 'I get homesick sometimes. It's not that bad..'

A smirk pulls at the corners of his mouth as his green eyes read my expression. 'Don't be worried,' he says softly, a cheeky tone to his voice.

I quickly shake my head, ripping my gaze away and blushing lightly. 'Don't flatter yourself.'

'It's okay, I love that,' he responds, his eyes scrunching up in delight.

I roll my eyes, elbowing him. A recurring thought I've been having suddenly pops into my head.

'You said you've never been with a boy before..' I start while absentmindedly playing with my food. 'But have you ever had feelings for a boy before?'

He lets out a soft chuckle. 'How random of you.'

'I don't care. Answer the question,' I push, smiling lightly and getting distracted by his eyelashes as he looks into my eyes.

'No, I haven't had feelings for a boy before. I mean, I've had some pretty close friendships with boys, but that's it. I'm new to this,' he admits, the corners of his mouth pulling up into a small smile.

'Are you scared?' I blurt, studying his expression.

He frowns. 'Of what?'

'Being with a boy this way?'

'No,' he responds. 'I don't think I am. I love how I'm feeling when I'm around you. I haven't known you for that long, Louis, but it feels good between us.'

He softly touches my arm with the tips of his fingers and I almost shiver at the contact, nodding in agreement.

'I know I had that at the beginning,' I tell him. 'I was scared of my feelings.'

He takes another bite of his food and puts his fork down. 'Are you still scared?' he asks, seeing right through me.

I blush, averting my eyes to my lap and shrugging. 'Maybe. I don't know. Sometimes.'

He now rests his entire hand on my arm, squeezing lightly. 'How come?'

'Well, there have been a few people who were.. rude about it. Seeing those people who, you know, confronted me about it and offended me.. That scared me. It still scares me to know that there are people who dislike me solely because of my sexuality,' I say, trying my best to describe my feelings.

Harry reaches out with his hand and softly pushes some of the hair that's fallen before my eyes back. 'Your parents.. Did they accept you?'

'They did, and I'm very thankful.'

He nods, a gentle smile playing on his lips as his eyes scan my face. 'I don't want you to be scared, Louis. Those people don't matter. What matters, is what's to come for _us_.'

Hearing him say _us_ warms my heart. 'I know. You're very brave, for someone who's still discovering his sexuality.'

'Oh, I know my sexuality. I'm Lou-sexual,' he says, winking.

'You're awful, Harry,' I groan playfully.

He squeezes my arm again, his fingers softly pressing into my bare skin, his eyes lighting up. 'I'm serious. You're like, your own species. The Louis species. You're very unique.'

'Now I feel like some kind of animal.'

'Well, that's what you are to me. An amazing, funny, sexy animal with beautiful eyes and a gorgeous bum,' he states, dimple popping.

I ignore the blush creeping up my neck as I shove his hand away and put my arms over each other. 'And _now_ I feel like an object,' I huff.

His eyes follow his finger as he traces my cheek. I try not to stare at the way his lips are all red and bitten. 'Oh, you're definitely not an object. You're more like.. delicious food. I could just.. eat you up.'

He quickly leans forward and licks along my jawline. The action makes something stir in my gut and I let out a startled gasp.

'Harry!' I hiss, frantically looking around, my cheeks on fire. 'There are other people here!'

He just sits there, smirking cheekily at me, licking his lips again. 'You taste good.'

'God,' I breathe, tearing my gaze away from his amazingly obnoxious mouth.

'My name's Harry,' he teases and I let out an exasperated groan. 'But as I was saying, you taste good. Very good. That reminds me of something..'

I eye him suspiciously.

'Something I've been thinking about lately,' he says slowly, focusing on my lips. 'It involves me spreading your cheeks and just letting you sit on my-'

I slap my hand over his filthy mouth. At the same moment, his eyes flick up and I follow his gaze.

Niall and Laura walk in, chattering with each other. I take a deep breath, trying to steady my pulse.

I give Harry a pointed look. He merely winks.

Niall sits down across Harry and Laura sits down in front of me.

'Good morning,' she says, giving me a friendly smile. She also looks at Harry for a second, and I can sense that she's not planning on holding any grudges against him for breaking up with her.

'Good morning,' Harry and I answer in unison.

We start talking about what we're gonna do today and I notice that the ambiance has significantly improved. Laura seems more relaxed around Harry; looking at him when he speaks, smiling at the right moments and participating in conversations. It would've been way more painful if she gave him the silent treatment.

'You gonna eat that?' Niall asks, pointing with his fork to some sort of sausage I picked earlier but didn't feel like eating anymore.

'It's all yours,' I tell him and dump the sausage on his plate.

I focus on the way his eyes lighten up as he digs into his food while I try pushing away what Harry said to me before they interrupted our conversation.

* * *

'This is Louis,' I say, answering the phone.

'Hey bro, it's Zayn. Thought I'd call you and see what you guys are up to.'

'Oh, hey Zayn,' I respond, subconsciously smiling. 'We're just hanging out at the hotel for now. We were planning on going to Kos city today, since the weather's a little less hot. Care to join us?'

'Sounds cool. Where d'you wanna meet?'

I tell him the place and time.

'Great. So how are you?' he asks, which I think is nice of him.

'I'm well,' I tell him, but I notice too late that my tone is slightly off.

'You sure?'

'Yeah, there have just been some tensions between the four of us..' I say, trailing off.

'What kind of tensions?'

'Harry broke up with Laura.'

He lets out a surprised sound. 'Really? How did that happen?'

My cheeks heat up immediately, and I almost regret telling him in the first place. But at the same time, I find myself wanting to tell him everything.

'I guess they grew apart. Niall's kinda pissed at Harry for suddenly breaking up with Laura.'

'I get that. I mean, it's kind of a shit move to break up with someone on a holiday. But then again, it wouldn't be fair to her if he just kept acting like he liked her that way.'

I nod almost excitedly at Zayn's comprehension, although he can't even see me. 'Exactly. It's a complicated situation.' I draw in a slow breath. 'It gets more complicated though..'

'Even more complicated? Jeez. What a holiday you guys must have,' Zayn says, obviously trying to make a joke.

My heart beats faster as I realize what I'm about to do, but I for some reason want to tell him every single bit of the truth. I trust him. I lower my voice a little, aware that there are other people in this house. 'I know. Harry and I.. We, uhm.. There's something going on between us.'

I hold my breath, waiting for an answer. He's silent on the other end of the phone, and I hurriedly tell him more. 'We kissed. A few times.'

'Woah. That makes it very complicated indeed,' he says, and I can hear that he's surprised. 'When did this happen?'

'It happened while he was still together with Laura,' I admit, ashamedly.

'Damn. What a mess.' Another short silence falls. 'You must feel bad.'

'I do. I feel awful about it, but I.. We can't stop doing it, you know? It keeps happening,' I rant. I somehow feel a bit lighter after telling him this. It feels good to be able to talk about this to someone else besides Harry.

'Shit. That's a problem. So now they've broken up.. She doesn't know you guys kissed, does she? Or the blonde? What's his name.. Niall?'

'No, no, they don't know. She'd be crushed. We both betrayed her. But I feel extra bad about it, 'cause I'm her best friend and she trusts me.'

'I understand. I'd feel the same way. Hm,' he says, sounding thoughtful. 'If you guys get caught..'

'It'd be horrible.'

'Yeah. Very. Don't you think she'll find out sooner or later? It's difficult to keep something like that hidden from her, or from Niall.'

'I know, and I worry about it a lot. I hope she doesn't. The guilt does weigh me down, though. It's stuck in the back of my mind whenever I talk to her.'

'Maybe you should tell her,' he says decidedly.

My eyes widen a bit, not wanting to hear that. 'No, I really can't.'

'You know it's the right thing to do,' he tells me and the phone slips slightly in my grasp because of my clammy hands.

'I know, fuck, I know. But I just can't imagine how she would react.. She'd probably hate me.'

'Do you really think that? Yeah, she'd be very disappointed, but she's your best friend. I think she'd want you to be honest.'

'You're right.' I let out a shaky breath. 'But right now, I really, really can't. I'll think about it, though.'

'Sure. You and Harry should talk about it together. Is it serious, by the way? Between you guys?'

'Yeah, kind of. I mean, we haven't been fooling around for that long but I really feel like it's more than just that. I like being around him.'

'Well, that's good. It'd probably be even better for the both of you if you didn't have a secret to keep.'

His eloquence almost catches me off guard. 'Probably, yeah. I'll definitely talk to him about it. We'll figure it out, hopefully.'

'I hope so too. You're a nice person, I think you can make the right choice.'

'Thanks, for hearing me out. It's bugging me a lot.'

'I understand. You can always come talk to me about it, you know?'

'Thank you,' I say, smiling lightly. 'You won't tell anyone, right?'

'Of course not, Louis.'

'Okay. I'll see you in two hours.'

'Yeah, cool. See you,' he says and I hang up the phone, feeling slightly relieved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Be sure to leave a comment below :)


	21. Tease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A NEW CHAPTER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At last. I hope you enjoy.

A few hours later, I'm between Perrie and Jade, who are both chattering excitedly, their arms hooked through mine.

"So, Louis.. Laura told me a lot about you," Perrie says, raising an eyebrow.

"Is that right?"

"Mhmm." She leans forward and flashes Jade a sneaky smile. "I heard you look dashing in lingerie and I HAVE to see that for myself."

"Me too," Jade chimes in. "There's something about guys in lingerie that just.. Umph," she huffs as I push her with my elbow.

"Why do I feel like the only reason Laura is friends with me is because I wear lingerie?" I sigh.

Perrie suddenly stops walking and I almost trip over my own feet, holding onto her arm for balance.

"Wait. Are you wearing lingerie right NOW?" she whisper-shouts, her eyes wide as saucers.

"No, no.. Not today, I left it at home. I'm not wearing it.." I hurriedly murmur, trying to conceal my red cheeks by looking down.

Perrie and Jade exchange looks, their eyebrows almost touching their hairlines.

"Oh my god, that's hot Louis! You actually bought lingerie? Laura said you only tried it on when you guys were shopping together!"

"Well, I mean.. I may or may not have returned later and.. bought it.." I say almost inaudibly. "It's only one set, though. It's no big deal. It was.. a joke."

I look at the others, who are turning around now because we're so far behind.

"Guys, they're getting annoyed at us. We should probably keep walking and stop talking about my lingerie."

"Wow," Perrie whispers as I pull them along.

-

The ten of us enter a small clothing-shop that sells t-shirts and sweatshirts with Kos-themed prints on them. They all look very cheap, but it's always nice to have a kind of souvenir that will later remind me of this gorgeous island.

We wander around the shop for a while. I can't help but sneak glances at Liam and Zayn every once in a while, who are holding hands. The sight makes my insides turn to mush and I almost want to coo at them.

"Aren't they just adorable?" Perrie wonders aloud, softly so only I can hear.

I nod, smiling. "They are. I'm so happy for them. It took them a while, didn't it?"

"It took them ages! Especially Zayn. He can be really oblivious sometimes. It became kind of painful at one point, when Liam kept unconsciously making heart-eyes at Zayn. He just wouldn't catch on for some reason." She rolls her eyes fondly. "I even told him that Liam clearly had a crush on him, but that didn't convince him. He said that couldn't be true, because 'Liam _clearly_ sees me as just a friend'."

I raise my eyebrows. "That's exactly what Liam said about Zayn when I talked to him about it! It's weird how people fail to see something that's happening right in front of them."

Perrie nods contemplatively. She looks around one more time, and then sighs. "I'm kind of fed up with this place, I'm gonna look for a different shop. I wonder if there's a place around here where they sell nail polish." She turns towards the girls and pulls them along. "Come on, ladies. We need to find a makeup store."

I turn towards the clothing racks and look for a nice sweatshirt. I'd love to have a nice, cozy sweatshirt that I can wear on lazy days.

I pick a gray sweatshirt with Greek letters and a temple on it, and I make my way over to one of the changing rooms in the back. I feel Harry's piercing green eyes on me, and I briefly make eye contact with him before disappearing into the small room.

I close the curtain behind myself and try to ignore the butterflies in my stomach as I pull off my t-shirt and try on the sweatshirt. It fits nicely. I turn to look at myself from different angles, and stand there for a few minutes before the curtain is suddenly pulled to the side. I barely have a few seconds to register what's happening before the curtain is closed again and I'm being pushed up against the mirror.

Harry roughly presses his lips against mine and pins my wrists to the mirror behind me. I let out a startled sound, which he swallows as he starts moving his lips and places a leg between my thighs. I automatically start kissing him back, letting out a soft whimper as my brain is still failing to catch up with the current events.

His tongue slips into my mouth and he starts daringly exploring my mouth. He tastes so sweet and my heart feels like it will burst.

He starts grinding against me a bit and a wave of arousal hits me as my hands fly up to his hair. I pull on the roots of his hair and he grunts softly, one of his hands dropping my wrist and slipping under my sweater.

I shudder a little as his hand caresses my skin. His thumb grazes my nipple and I sigh into the kiss. It feels like he's kissing me with a mission and he's taking my breath away. He starts trailing kisses from the corner of my mouth to my jaw and then down to my neck.

I clear my throat, my eyes closed in bliss. "The others?" I ask hoarsely, barely recognizing the sound of my own voice.

"They've gone somewhere else," he mutters breathily against my skin. He licks a stripe from my neck up to my earlobe and takes it between his teeth, biting down softy.

I moan softly, extremely turned on by his actions, squirming against him. He pecks me on the lips one last time and then pulls back from me completely. I fight the urge to reach out to him and pull him back against me.

He runs his eyes up and down my body with an appreciative gaze. His pupils are dilated and I feel so bare, even though I have clothes on. "You look so hot in that sweater. I'll wait for you," he says lowly and leaves the changing room before I can answer.

I just stand there for a few moments, completely blown away. I look down and there's an obvious bulge at the front of my pants. I let out a frustrated sigh and readjust myself before switching clothes.

I step out of the changing room. Harry is hovering by the shop entrance, his eyes gleaming mischievously as they lock with mine. I roll my eyes and my cheeks feel very warm as I pay for the sweatshirt. The lady behind the cash register gives me a weird look and I'm guessing she can sense how flustered I am. I offer her an awkward "thanks" as I take the bag from her and follow Harry out of the shop.

"You're teasing me," I mutter under my breath as I catch up with him and start walking beside him.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says innocently, giving me a sideways smirk.

I nudge his shoulder playfully and he chuckles under his breath. He can't fool me though; his hair is still a bit tousled and his cheeks are redder than they were before. I'm glad I at least had some sort of effect on him as well. I peek at his crotch and smile a little to myself.

-

Harry and I quickly catch up with the rest of the group. We walk through the streets, trying to find a nice place to eat lunch.

Laura twists her ankle at one point and she grabs onto Niall, who's walking beside her. "Ow," she says with a pained face, grabbing onto her ankle.

Niall's face is instantly clouded with concern. "Are you alright?"

She nods curtly, letting go of his arm and she keeps walking, but she's visibly limping a little bit.

"You're not alright," Niall says, frowning. "I'll give you a piggyback ride."

He crouches down, reaching his arms behind him. I raise an eyebrow. It looks like Niall's flirting with her. Maybe he doesn't just like her as a friend..

"I'm fine! I swear, I can walk," Laura sputters in protest.

"Nope, I'm not buying it. C'mon. I'll stand here all day if you don't hop on," he insists, a cheeky grin on his face.

Laura laughs and gives in, jumping up. He wraps his arms around her legs and hoists her up a bit so that he's got a better grip on her. Laura is visibly blushing as she clings onto him. She looks at Harry over her shoulder, who's walking beside me. When she sees he didn't even see any of it go down, she looks slightly disappointed and she rests her chin on Niall's shoulder instead. I guess she's not completely over Harry yet.. I don't blame her.

I watch Harry for a few seconds from the side. His hair is down and cascades over his shoulders. He's wearing a button-up shirt with short sleeves and pink palm leaves on it. The top buttons are unbuttoned, exposing some of his tanned chest. His left arm is littered with tattoos and I remind myself that I'm going to ask about them sometime in the future. My mouth almost waters at the sight of him and I have to force myself to look away before the problem in my lower region gets even worse.

Then I feel his eyes on me and I look back at him after a while. He winks at me and licks his lips. He makes me feel weak in the knees.

-

We arrive at a nice place to sit down and eat. Everyone sits down and I end up on the opposite end of the table than where Harry sits.

I sit down next to Sam, who I catch staring at Niall and Laura, who are sitting beside each other and chattering excitedly. She's obviously jealous, and I feel bad for her. Niall doesn't seem to be paying any attention to her anymore. The dynamic between Niall and Laura is undeniable, and it makes me wonder if they are on their way to becoming more than friends. It's a thought I haven't had before, but I could definitely see it happening.

I make it my own personal mission to pay special attention to Sam and purposefully ignore the looks Harry's already throwing me from the other end of the table.

We order our food and talk among each other as we eat.

"How is your food?" I ask Sam, offering her a small smile.

She looks up from where she was frowning down at her plate, a surprised expression on her face. Then she smiles back and says: "It tastes delicious, obviously. All the food here seems to be amazing, doesn't it?"

I nod in agreement, swallowing another bite of my own food. "I know, it's crazy. It could also be a side-effect from the fact that the waiters are so friendly. The other day, a waiter came over about three times to ask us if we were enjoying it. We weren't even eating yet, I only had a glass of water!"

She lets out a funny, belly shaking laugh that makes me laugh in return. Her eyes crinkle up as she sets down her glass of wine. "Were you enjoying the water though?" she teases, wiggling her eyebrows.

"It was magnificent. The best tap water I've ever had," I answer with a smirk.

She lets out another loud chuckle. "You enjoying it here, then?"

"Yes. I mean, it's beautiful. How could you not?"

"Very true. I almost feel bad when I have to take a dump here. Feels like I'm befouling this place," she says with a matter-of-fact expression on her face.

I let out a startled laugh, clasping a hand in front of my mouth. I catch Harry's eyes that focus on me, and he looks amused. _This girl is so honest,_ I think to myself in wonder. I'm already starting to like her and her quirky straight-forwardness.

I smooth out my face into a thoughtful expression. "I thought girls never poop?"

She flutters around a hand. "Boy oh boy, did you hear that wrong. You don't even wanna know." She winces, a playful twinkle in her eye.

"Well, I'm gonna go back to eating my very delicious meal that's inconveniently brown-colored," I mutter, suppressing a smile.

"You do that. I'm actually gonna go to the loo," she says with a very serious face, standing up from the table.

I laugh loudly at that, clutching my stomach.

She flashes me a cheeky smile and stalks towards the bar, where the toilets are. I shake my head, a smile still plastered on my face. She might be the clingy type of girlfriend, but she's hilarious. I could easily become friends with her.

I look up from my plate and sure enough, I feel Harry's gaze on me again. I eventually give in, knowing he's still teasing me, but not really caring since I love looking at him anyway. The thought of what happened in the changing room while the others were on a small distance from us makes something in my stomach stir. Our eyes lock and his seem to bore right into mine. The right corner of his mouth curls up, his irises a dark, intense green. I look back down at my plate with warm cheeks. He wants to make me blush and he succeeds every time.

After a while, I start talking to Liam, who's sitting opposite me, next to Zayn. I just know they're holding hands under the table. They're so obvious, and it's lovely. Sam returns from the toilet and when we're finished with eating, I see Harry get up from the table in my peripheral vision.

I curiously follow him with my eyes, not really caring that I might be a little obsessed with him. He walks in the same direction Sam did before, and I realize he's going to the toilets. A wild idea pops into my head and it makes my heart beat faster.

Before I can overthink what I'm about to do, I stand up from the table and follow him. I enter the bathroom a little later than he does and I don't think he noticed me following him.

He's just about to close the door of one of the stalls, but stills his movements when he sees me barge into the bathroom.

I close the door behind me and walk straight towards him. He opens the door a little further, looking surprised and curious. I slip through and gently push him aside to quickly lock the door behind us. Then I turn towards him and push him against the stall door the exact same way he pushed me against the mirror before, pressing his wrists against the hard surface.

He moans softly into my mouth and I silence him by licking along his lower lip. He instantly grants me access and our tongues move together in sync. He breaks free from my grip on his wrists and places his hands on my ass, pushing me against him. I bite his lip as a warning, trying to ignore the spark of arousal shooting up my spine at the contact.

"No touching," I murmur against his mouth, feeling his hot breath on my wet lips.

He nods frantically and obediently clasps his hands together above his head. I lean back to watch him and the sight of him panting before me and giving himself over to me makes my pants feel tighter. His eyes are heavy-lidded, his lips red and slightly swollen from our kissing. The look he gives me makes me feel like I'm a prey and he's using all his willpower not to reach out.

"Please," he grunts, closing his eyes briefly. That one, single word almost makes me want to growl out of pure lust.

I step forward and capture his lips in another relentless kiss, my hands roaming his body. I'm relishing the powerful feeling as I slide one hand under his shirt and run the fingers of my other hand along his waistband. I rub his nipple and he arches his back, his mouth slack against mine. My other hand slides down over his noticeable bulge and I grip him firmly through the material of his trousers.

He groans into my mouth and I feel him grow harder in the palm of my hand. I stroke along what I recognize to be the shape of his dick and detach myself from his lips to start sucking on his neck. He bucks up into my hand and I lower the hand I had up his shirt to press him back. That's when I remove my hands from him completely and take a step back from him.

"C'mon, we should head back," I say, trying to sound casual. I know, however, that my voice sounds way raspier than it normally does. I'm so glad I'm wearing a t-shirt that reaches just below my crotch.

He looks absolutely gob smacked, his mouth still open and shining with spit. His cheeks are a lovely rosy color and a delighted feeling overcomes me as I try to keep a straight face.

I reach for the door handle and raise my eyebrows, signaling him to step aside. He does, his arms slowly lowering from where he was still holding them above his head. I quickly leave through the door without another glance and I hear a soft "Fuck!" as I leave the bathroom with a proud smile on my face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave me a comment, I'd appreciate it a lot. Love to hear what you guys think. x


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